And… BFN is confirmed by yesterday’s blood test. I stopped
the progesterone last night, so AF should show up again any time now… last
month it showed up two days after stopping the progesterone, so my guess is
that it will show tomorrow. I’m supposed to call the RE’s office on day one of
AF, and will have an ultrasound and blood draw on day 3 to begin the injectable
protocol. Then I have to go from the RE’s office to the pharmacy and pick up
the Follistim prescription, which will run about $750 (supposedly.) I did get
approved for a discount, albeit only a 5% one, so I take my coupon thing with
me and that should make the cost $712.50. Still crazy expensive, but I’ll take
all the discounts I can get.
If I’m lucky, I’ll respond well enough that I won’t need all
900iu, so that I can hopefully use some of it for July’s cycle if June’s isn’t
a BFP.
In the meantime, Kaitlin and I both have my birthday off of
work next week. I’m debating what I want to do – we could go to the zoo, or
Water World, or we could go for a hike or something. Whatever we do has to be
pretty inexpensive, since every penny I’ve got is going toward TTC right now.
It’s also kind of sobering to realize I am turning 35. It feels like one of
those milestones that, when you’re younger, seems an eternity away. I don’t
think I ever really thought I would turn 35 without being a mom yet… and I never
thought that at 35, I would have this much trouble getting pregnant. Even if I
do get pregnant this year, I’ll have a five-year-old when I’m 40, and that just
seems… well, it’s not how I imagined it.
Still, one of my staff had a child in her early forties, and
that child is 5 or 6 now, and he seems to be doing okay. So it probably isn’t
the end of the world. But I ask myself if I can really keep up with a 5 year
old when I get to that age. I’m already noticing so many signs of aging in my
body – changes in shape (grr) and I can’t wear heels anymore because of leg
cramps… I am really going to have to focus on staying in shape so that I can
keep up with a kiddo and give them the active childhood they deserve.
Assuming, of course, if I can even GET FRICKING PREGNANT.
Sigh.
On to the next round…
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