CD3 – Another BFN, Another Delay

I’ve been feeling so down this past week I haven’t even bothered to blog. But here’s the scoop: Kaitlin got laid off on Thursday. On Monday, I got my period – even though I was on progesterone, which has never happened to me before. So, BFN. Then this morning, I went into the doctor for my CD3 ultrasound, and wouldn’t you know it, I have leftover follicles again. So three weeks of birth control now, before we can tackle our final injectables cycle.

I guess the delay is okay seeing as how Kaitlin’s laid off anyway and it gives me the chance to do a little catchup on the debt from last month’s $3000ish cycle. And it means we don’t have to figure out how to juggle injections and ultrasounds during Battlemoor (a big SCA camping event) this weekend.

But frankly, I am just so tired and sad. There’s drama going on at work, too, with members of my staff going through their own family emergencies and two staff whose roles I’m revising and training and my staff having basically sabotaged all of our managers’ efforts to get us another pair of hands to help us out next year… and I am just done, today. Just done. I don’t want to do anything except go home and bury myself in Korean drama, puppy cuddles, and absolute laziness.

But there’s another day of work to get through, and then two days at least of Battlemoor. I do want to see my Laurel and apprentice family, but honestly they’re the only reasons I’m going. And I’m probably going to mostly just lurk and do nothing for most of the time. I feel crappy and sad and tired. I’m not in an SCA-ing mood. And I’m always so exhausted after them. Even though we’re leaving on Sunday (and thank God I have Monday off for the holiday) I’m still really just going to get a one-day weekend before heading back to work again next week.

My boss also asked me this morning if everything was okay, since I’d had so many doctor appointments this year. So I just told her that we were TTC, and all the trouble we’d been having, and gave her a basic idea of our future plans: this next attempt is our last one, and then we take a few months off to recover financially and we’re going to Greece for a donor egg cycle.  She was supportive, which was really great, and it sounds like she had to conceive at least one of her kids via IVF so she knows what it’s like.

That’s good, I guess.

Kaitlin’s heading to Battlemoor this afternoon, so I’ll be alone tonight. I’m kind of looking forward to it, because I can go to bed as early as I want, I can watch K-drama all night if I want, I can eat whatever I want and be as miserable as I want without making her miserable too.

I just have to make it through the rest of this work day…