Today is the day our Lupron injections start up again. Fun. While I'm not looking forward to the dreaded nightly ritual, and dreading even more the fact that I have to coach myself up to being able to give myself shots while I'm alone in Greece, I AM glad to be back on the horse again.
Looks like I'll only need to be in Greece for a couple days this time, though it may be longer depending on the cost of the flight. Starting to work on getting payment sent to the clinic. Next thing I have to do is email them when AF comes, have an ultrasound on day 3 or 4 f my next cycle, and then wait until they can tell me exactly which days I need to be there so I can buy plane tickets and take time off and all of that.
In the meantime, staying busy with my new book release and trying to work on the next book too. Maybe the time on the plane and in Greece will let me get some writing in...?
I am feeling pretty hesitant about getting excited. I want to be excited, I want to be hopeful. But is it too much to hope that we'll get pregnant on this second time too? Is it arrogant to hope that after all this time, this will finally be our turn... Not just to get pregnant but to get to keep it this time? I am afraid to let myself dream too much. What if the universe has been trying to tell me for the past few years that being a mom just isn't in the cards for me...
Anyway, if this try fails we will do it one more time, but it won't be for a long while because I have to save up the money for it. And if a third try fails.... I think at some point we have to call it, right? I don't want to think about that right now. I'm not ready to accept it.
So, here we go again, I guess. Transfer in April, and then we wait and see...
Thinking of you both <3
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