IUI#1 CD1 – Let’s Get This Party Started

AF showed up last night at around 6:30 PM. I still hadn’t heard the results of my bloodwork, so I called the doctor’s office this morning and here are the goods:

I’m negative for all the bad STD bugs (yay) and have immunity to chicken pox and rubella (yay). I am also CMV+ (yay) so I can use our donor without any worries. But, my AMH is 0.74, which indicates a diminished number of eggs available. I looked around online and it looks like that number is about average for a 40-year-old woman; my mom went through menopause early so I'm not necessarily surprised, but it does mean I really need to get a move on this conception thing before it's too late. The doctor scheduled me for a CD3 blood test to check my FSH. The nurse said that just because my AMH is low, that doesn’t mean necessarily that I’ll have a harder time getting pregnant. Some women have low AMH but a high FSH (egg quality).  So I’m going in on Friday morning at 8 AM to have the FSH test done. They’ll have the results same-day, so if the doctor decides after looking at my FSH to put me on meds, I’ll have to go pick up the meds that day and start them, because Clomid is taken starting CD3. According to the RE office, if AF starts after 5 PM, the next day is considered CD1. So I updated my Fertility Friend chart to reflect that, so I can track the cycle the way the doctor's office will.

Kaitlin and I also have to meet with with a counselor named Barb Hyatt prior to any IUI scheduling. Apparently we are required to meet with her because we're using donor swimmers. We have an appointment next Tuesday at 4:30 - that's going to be a $200 session. So both of us will have to go into work super early that day so that we can leave early for the appointment. I have paid time off from work but Kaitlin doesn't, so she needs to make sure she gets in her full eight hours that day or she'll miss out on some pay.

I logged into the cryobank site this morning and had the swimmers shipped to the doctor's office... they should ship out today and probably arrive Friday afternoon, so when I call to get my blood test results that afternoon I'll also check to see that they received the dewar.  I let my boss know I'll be in late Friday, and will work later to make up the time. 

On a non-TTC note, I have been having the best conversations with my boss lately. We went through a really miserable period in 2012 where it felt that nothing I did would satisfy her, and I was certain she was trying to get me to quit or build a case to fire me. In 2013 my New Year's resolution was to find a new job. Yet things gradually improved throughout the year, and I found out yesterday that she recommended me for the maximum salary increase (3%) for this year! All of our dialogue lately has been so positive and felt so synergistic, like we're functioning as a team. It's been awesome and there are no words to explain just how much this has improved my quality of life, my mental health, my sense of security and confidence. Funny how a change in just one relationship can have such a huge impact on one's entire life. 

Anyway, we’re really moving on our TTC plans now!! If all goes well, our IUI should take place sometime close to next weekend. And we’d be able to find out if we’re pregnant sometime in the first week of February, but shouldn’t be any later than February 8^th or so.

Oh my gosh I am excited. Fingers crossed sooo much!!

I also spent 30 minutes of my lunch break walking circuits through the halls and up and down the stairs of my work building. I really need to do that every day. I don't get enough physical activity during the day - my thigh muscles are twitching now - and it's important, especially if I want to have a more comfortable pregnancy and an easier time losing the baby weight after giving birth. And, I really need to start buying groceries for lunches rather than going out to eat, so I can save the money for TTC costs. So today, 30 minutes of walking, followed by a Campbell's soup and a tuna salad/cracker kit for lunch.

Kaitlin and I are subscribed to Emeals, but we don't stick to it faithfully and end up eating out or eating junk way too often. So that's the other thing... we need to faithfully stick to an Emeals schedule every week and cook at home. And I need some tupperware I can use to pack up leftovers for lunches, or for Kaitlin to take to work for her dinners when she doesn't plan on coming home after work (she often goes to fencing practice or games with friends first.) New Emeals plans come out every Wednesday, so I ought to just make Wednesday my grocery shopping day, after work. I guess that means I'm going to the grocery store when I get off today...

CD23 – Counting down to AF

I called the doctor’s office today to see if they had my blood results yet. Turns out they should be getting them in today, so I should be hearing from the nurses this afternoon or tomorrow. I’m so impatient, LOL… But today is CD23, so if my body follows its average 24 day cycle AF will start on Wednesday or thereabouts. I can’t wait. Once it starts, we really get going with this whole TTC thing.
I spent most of the weekend getting caught up on sleep, cleaning the house, and playing a video game. All things I am sure I will not get to enjoy nearly so indulgently once we’re moms. Kaitlin and I also talked about our home improvement plans, and plans for the baby’s nursery. From the day I bought my house, I had picked out the northwestern bedroom to be a future nursery / kid’s room. It’s been sitting empty for five years and I cannot wait to be able to fix it up and get it ready for a tiny occupant. *hearts*In the meantime, I’ve spent the last several weeks trying to pass the time by painting my nails. I’ve been a chronic nail-biter since high school and have never been able to keep my fingernails looking nice for any real length of time. But lately I’ve really enjoyed painting them and doing different glitter looks, and now they’ve actually grown out. I did a deep red spangled look for Christmas, and then last week a frosty blue with iridescent glitter at the base. Right now they’re pearly white with iridescent glitter at the tips. I’ll probably keep them this way for a week or so, then change it up again next week – maybe combine the frost blue with the white? I haven’t been ambitious enough yet to make an attempt at French tips. I’m going with sort of a wintery theme since it’s January, but looking forward to doing some fun Valentine’s colors next month. It’s a nice pastime that helps make the TTC waiting more bearable. And it’s another luxury that I suspect I’ll have little time for as a new mom. :P So I’m enjoying it while I can.Things are actually feeling pretty great at work at the moment. I got entirely caught up today, so tomorrow I will tackle some projects that have been on my “when I have time” list for too long. It would be nice if this momentum would continue, since it’s rare that I actually get to feel like I’m really on top of my stuff. I’m finally starting to get over this sicky bug, too. Just a little bit of stuffiness and coughing left, but my energy is back and so is my voice. So all in all… today is a pretty good day!

CD17 – More doctors

This is turning out to be the month of doctors. I left work early yesterday and made an appointment with my doctor, both for the crud that I haven’t been able to get rid of in over a week, and the UTI that seems to be developing. Ugh. She gave me some antibiotics (which I had to wait two hours at the pharmacy for – it sure seems like every kid in our neighborhood is sick with something) and I slept better last night. While I still don’t feel 100%, there’s definite improvement over the way I felt yesterday. I feel like I can finally actually get some work done at work.
No call from the RE’s office yet. Waiting on blood test results… In the meantime, today is going to be a chance to put my One Little Word for 2014, CONCEIVE, to use. I have an interview this afternoon with my boss and our business office manager, in which we are interviewing a potential contract company. My boss asked me yesterday to come up with some interview questions. I was drawing a complete blank, honestly, because my brain was still not firing well. After googling the internet for ideas, and even polling my staff (“I’ll be interviewing a potential contractor, do you guys have any questions for them that you’d like me to ask?”) I picked up the phone and called a neighboring county’s human services director, since they’d recently worked with this contractor on a similar project. Finally I managed to put together a few questions that I hoped my boss would find intelligent and appropriate. This morning I got back an email with her finalized list of interview questions, and to my relief most of mine were on there, and they made up the majority of the questions, too. She did rephrase them some, but I feel better seeing that the ones I came up with were not completely inane. WHEW.I am challenging myself to conceive of a relationship between our county and this company, and try to ask questions that would help us do that. Today’s interview will be a chance to put it into action. But for the most part, I plan to sit very quietly and let my boss run the show. I can beg off still feeling sick and barely having any voice, but the truth is that one of the skills I really need to learn this year is to be quiet more often. I need to stop worrying about being perceived as not having anything to say – and not say anything unless it’s truly valuable. I tend to repeat myself a lot or pick on details that aren’t really relevant, and I do that to fill the silence and make a show of participation. But it isn't really a good use of anyone's time, so my goal this year is to make my participation more meaningful, and hold back when it isn't.In the meantime, if this contract is approved, I’ll receive a contract staff person this year. That means I have to figure out where this person will sit, what equipment they will use, and what tasks to assign to them. Lots of things I have to conceive of in order to get the most benefit... Since they’re temporary, I don’t think it's a good idea to assign them a caseload. But I figure this person can provide a lot of the tasks required behind the scenes, in support of the caseworkers… if this person can take those pieces on, my workers should be able to concentrate on just returning phone calls and solving problems rather than processing mail, working reports, and preparing docket files. That’s the plan, anyway. I hope it turns out well.My house is a wreck, so I’m really hoping I will feel well enough this weekend to set things back in order. The Christmas tree needs to come down, and the floors need cleaning. I probably ought to start thinking about a couple of SCA projects too. I might consider going to archery every week. I’m still torn on that, as I’m so tired at night and I don’t know how I’ll feel once I’m pregnant. But I guess after spending such a long time feeling stressed and exhausted and sick, I’m finally feeling more optimistic about my energy levels again. Hoping the momentum keeps going.

CD15 - tired of being sick

Getting ready to sleep on Sunday night. Sunday is always my least favorite night of the week, because when I wake up I have five consecutive days of work ahead before I make it to the next weekend. But tonight it's particularly distasteful, because it feels like I spent the whole weekend sick and tired, and didn't get anything productive accomplished, and now I am facing the first full work week after the holidays... Sigh.
Kaitlin and I did attend an SCA event on Saturday. It was nice to see friends but I had no voice at all and was feeling pretty exhausted by the time we got home. Today I slept late, ate at Village Inn with Kaitlin, then spent the rest of the day on the couch drinking tea, eating way too many snacks, cuddling my puppy and watching Korean drama while Kaitlin was off playing a role-playing game with some friends. Even after an entire day of rest I feel really tired, and I sort of wish I could take a whole week off of work to just sleep and lounge around in my sweats. As exhausting as I expect new motherhood to be, I am truly looking forward to a nice long maternity leave from work where I can do nothing but bond with baby and be a new mom.So next week I will be waiting for a call from the RE's office to find out the results of my blood test. The doctor said that depending on the results she might have me come in for some CD3 tests also, during my next cycle. I'm nervous to get the results... Keeping fingers crossed that they will show a nice, fertile cycle, but I'll feel better once it's confirmed. I am glad, every day, that we decided to go the RE route this time. I don't think I realized during my first TTC attempts just how much more relaxed and confident I'd feel in working with a doctor rather than going it on our own. I think of all the money I spent using multiple vials every month without really knowing whether the timing was right or whether my body was working as it should... At the time I had convinced myself that at home cycles would be less expensive than working with a doctor, but it actually looks like the cost will be about the same... Maybe even less since I won't have to pay for monthly shipping. And the reduced stress, in and of itself, is invaluable. I think if I had it to do over again I'd have started with the RE to begin with. But things have a way of turning out the way they're meant to, I guess, because in the end it was a good thing I hadn't gotten pregnant back then. :PKaitlin seems pretty confident we'll get pregnant on the first try. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I have to admit her optimism is rubbing off a little. ;) now, though, I should try to sleep... The real life of work begins again tomorrow. Sigh...

CD13 - First RE Appointment

I'm home sick from work today. I'd taken the morning off for the RE anyway, but by the time we were done it was 1pm and I could barely talk, my throat is so bad. So I called in sick for the rest of the day and I'm trying to rest now.
The RE appointment went great, though I learned I am back to my high school weight now, which was not happy news. Once I get over this bug I've really got to start exercising and eating better. :/ that aside, here's a summary of how the appointment went: We got a little lost trying to find the office, so we were running a little late. When we arrived it only took a few minutes to get checked in, then they brought me back for weighing and blood pressure tests. We met with a nurse first, who went over the info on my medical form, asked questions about past conditions and medications, and we talked a little about my mom because she went through menopause early. Then we met with Dr. Trout, who gave us some info on CMV. Our donor is CMV positive. I've never been tested for CMV, so that's part of the blood work they're doing. Also, because my mom went through menopause early, and that can be hereditary, they want to test certain hormone levels to see whether I still appear to have a good quantity and quality of eggs left. She did say that most women can't get pregnant in the 5-8 years before entering menopause, and that was a little scary... I'm not going to stress about it unless the numbers look worrisome when the tests are done, but it's something I hadn't known before and makes me glad we're not waiting any longer to start TTC.I was able to give her a lot of info on my cycle and the donor we chose. Turns out, we can ship all our vials to the Dr. Office, and they will store them for free for us for 3 months. That means we save on shipping, have all the vials readily available in case one doesn't thaw well, and it will cost us less in storage. So after the blood work comes back we'll arrange for shipping.After meeting with the doctor it was back to the nurse again to have blood drawn (hate that) and give a urine sample, and both Kaitlin and I got flu shots. Then we met with the financial folks. Turns out my insurance may cover some of the diagnostic stuff. I paid a $45 copay for the doctor visit. They're going to bill the rest to insurance and they seem pretty sure insurance will cover it.... That is awesome, because I was expecting it to be completely out of pocket. They also seemed pretty impressed when I told them about our cryobank... I guess they're used to working with the one out of California that charges $700 a vial. :PThe doctor will decide whether to use meds once the blood work comes back. If she doesn't use meds, then no ultrasounds are needed. If she does, then OPKs won't work anymore and she'll have to monitor with the ultrasound. So now we just wait for the blood results, and go from there. The next time I get a positive OPK, I call to set up the IUI. And, they perform IUIs 365 days a year, including Sundays and holidays, which is so cool. I dug out my pregnancy journal last night... I'd bought it years ago in the hopes of getting pregnant, and then shucked it in a corner when it looked like that wasn't going to happen for a while. I let Kaitlin read through it and she really likes it too. I can't wait to get started... Just waiting for the phone to ring with the test results. Keeping fingers crossed that everything looks good. <3 data-blogger-escaped-p=""> And now I'm going to try to sleep this bug off...

2014 One Little Word Project

So I have been reading (slash cyberstalking) a completely awesome two-mom family blog for the past several years. I just love all of the photographs and watching their beautiful little girl grow up, and daydreaming of a time when maybe I'll get to blog photos of my own life with a kiddo. Anyway, one of the things that Wendy does is to choose an inspirational word at the start of each year that sort of guides the year's goals and accomplishments. I love this idea, and really want to try it out for myself in 2014.I've put a lot of thought into what word I'd want to strive for this year. 2014 is a pretty packed year for me, with the number one goal, of course, being achieving pregnancy. But I also want to write my fourth novel this year, and get financially into a place where we can afford to install flooring in our basement and get our home more organized and established. I want to change my name and get legally married. I want to continue my success at work so that my job remains stable and my relationship with my boss remains positive. But of all the things I want to do and accomplish, getting pregnant is so high on the list that I can barely think of anything else, really.So it seems only natural that my word, for the coming year, should be CONCEIVE.2012 was one of the most difficult years I've ever been through, so much so that pretty much all of 2013 was dedicated to recovery. In retrospect, if there were words for those years I think 2012 would be ENDURE and 2013 would be REBUILD. But I'm hoping that 2014 is the year when I will finally be able to make progress again toward my life's dreams. I think conceive not only addresses the goal of getting pregnant in 2014, but it also speaks to the state of mind I'd like to be in this year... a fertile place that generates creativity and production, a word that encompasses both the process of planning for the future, and also holds accountability for nurturing those plans into something productive. A word that combines hope, optimism and luck with personal responsibility - and I think it also continues to speak a little to the idea of recovering from the setbacks I've had in prior years. Looking forward to a year of conception!!

CD12 - Getting ready for tomorrow's RE appointment

We spent NYE at home on the couch, being a sicky sniffly couple together. Awwww. :P We did manage to stay up until midnight for the requisite first kiss of the new year, but quickly lumbered up to bed afterward and went right to sleep. Not much in the way of a party this year, thanks to this bug that's going around.
Anyway, we then celebrated our two-year anniversary yesterday. Since the traditional gift for two years is garnet, I got Kaitlin a pair of silver hoop earrings set with little round garnets, and she gave me a silver and garnet bead bracelet. *love* We had a pretty low-key day yesterday, and wandered around the mall before having dinner at The Cheesecake Factory and going to see the new Disney movie FROZEN (which is super, super cute.) I really wish I could have taken today off of work too, as I’m sitting here in sneezy stuffy gassy discomfort… but there’s work to be done and I'm trying to save up as much of my leave time as possible to accommodate a future maternity leave (fingers crossed!) Our first RE appointment is tomorrow. It feels like I’ve been waiting for ages, even though I think it’s only been about two weeks… I’m so impatient, LOL. The TWWs are going to be torture!! I believe I ovulated last night, according to my temps, cervical position/CM and the positive OPK that I got late Tuesday night. Yesterday I was actually feeling a little sad, because I knew I was ovulating but had no swimmers to make an attempt with. Still, I know it’s better to save the money for a doctor-assisted cycle. However, if our doctor says we can’t try with her until February, I may ask Kaitlin to do an at-home attempt with one of our vials. Today I’m making a list of questions for the RE, to try and be sure that we cover everything important. I asked around on the Cryobank message boards and also did some google searches for suggested questions. So far, the list goes something like this: 1. What are your office hours? Do you close on weekends or holidays? Can your hours accommodate our work schedules? What happens if it appears I need an IUI on a weekend or holiday?
2. How will we communicate with you outside of the office? Will I be speaking directly with you or with a nurse? Who can I call if I have a problem after office hours?
3. What kinds of tests can we expect? How long will they take? How much will they cost? I expect to ovulate next toward the end of this month – will we be able to make an IUI attempt then?
4. What are our medication options, and do you recommend meds? If so, which ones, and what are the costs?
5. Will your office do ultrasounds to monitor ovulation? If so, on what schedule, and what is the cost?
6. Shall I continue using OPK tests? Are the smiley tests recommended, or should I use a different kind?
7. Should I have the swimmers shipped to our home or to your office?
8. Once I am ovulating, what is the procedure to get an IUI appointment? How soon after a positive OPK will you perform the IUI? Is timing individualized, or do you follow set protocols for everyone?
9. How many IUI procedures are performed per cycle? How many vials are used in each procedure?
10. Will the swimmers be tested for motility, etc. after thawing and before insemination? Can I get the results of the tests in writing?
11. Is the IUI performed by a doctor or a nurse?
12. What involvement can my partner have in the IUI procedure? Can she insert the catheter? Is the doctor willing to show her how to perform the IUI at home?
13. What are your pregnancy success rates with IUI from frozen sperm?
14. Can I do all the necessary testing and procedures in your office, or will I have to go to separate laboratories or hospitals?
15. What is the total cost of one cycle of treatment, including labs, ultrasounds, office visits, meds, and the procedure? Are there extra costs for phone calls? That’s all I’ve got so far, but I’m sure it’s plenty for discussion. I’m actually feeling crampy and uncomfortable today, but I think it’s gas… The discomfort woke me up very early this morning and it’s been pretty much ongoing ever since. On top of that I’m still feeling sick and tired… This cold I have has turned into a coughing/sneezing/stuffy head thing that is not fun at all. I called Aetna’s fertility hotline this morning to get registered in their program, but the guy who answered said someone had to call me back. I’m going to try again in another hour or so to see if I can get through. I’m not very hopeful that Aetna’s going to help… I don’t think my plan covers infertility. I’m going to do everything I can to try, though, because this is going to be an expensive process overall. Tomorrow’s visit should cost somewhere around $200, and then there may be costs for initial testing, costs for meds, costs for ultrasounds and office visits, the cost of shipping the swimmers, and the cost of the iui procedure – then I have to buy pregnancy tests. (That part I’m actually looking forward to.)I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much, because I don’t want to be too disappointed if we don’t get pregnant on the first try. But a naughty part of me can’t help that little niggling “what if it worked right away?” daydream. ^~ Tomorrow can’t come fast enough.