I got a call two nights ago from the RE's office - still just CD2 - and they asked me to start my Follistim that night at a dose of 150IU. So Kaitlin's given me the shots, that night and last night, and I have an ultrasound/bloodwork appointment for Friday morning. I think I'm going to stop by the Avella pharmacy first and pick up my trigger shot, to minimize time that I'm out of work.
I also ordered the swimmers and had them shipped to my RE, but they haven't received them as of this morning when I called... I asked them to call and leave me a message once they do get them, just so I know they arrived safely. Two little vials, and they're so darned expensive. I am hoping that with this new donor, the samples may be fresher (he runs out of supply quickly, so he must be popular and currently donating) and maybe there will be a higher motility count. It would also be really nice if this donor's chemistry was maybe a little more compatible with mine.
In the meantime, stress at work is escalating again.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
IUI#5 CD2 - Moving On
Yesterday was just plain awful. On top of being deeply disappointed about this fourth BFN, I am also stuck with a really heavy, miserable AF. The Clomid and birth control has made most of my past cycles really light, but since I had a nice fat lining on the Follistim, I am now getting to enjoy a full-on, cramp-til-I-want-to-vomit couple of days. Ugh.
But, my darling fiancee brought home yellow roses (my favorite color) and chocolate cake for me yesterday. After two shots of Grand Marnier and three tylenol I was still hurting so badly I couldn't get comfortable on the couch, so finally I just gave up and went to bed early. I wanted to be unconscious through the worst of it. The cramping is not as intense today, but still really unpleasant, and I am feeling cranky and not at all able to focus on work. But I can't exactly go home, because I have a meeting with my boss this afternoon that I have to make sure I'm "on" for. Dreading it, but I'll make it through somehow.
Was late to work again this morning so I could go have an ultrasound done, and there's at least one bright spot in all of this: I DON'T HAVE LEFTOVER FOLLICLES THIS TIME. [Insert the Hallelujah Chorus] We can actually start another round right away. There are no words for what a relief that is... it's been so discouraging to have to take nearly every other month off of TTC to go on birth control instead. I think if I'd found out that we were going to have to skip August too, I might have had to go home crying for the rest of the day.
So, there's a silver lining after all, and I just placed another order with NorthWest Cryobank. We decided we are going to switch donors, to see if maybe a change in swimmers will give us better luck. We're going with #9319: brown wavy hair, green eyes, ambidextrous, tall, artsy and science-y. I think his "baby" photo looks a lot more like Kaitlin than our first donor, too (she says he looks like her brother.) Also, one of the other forum users has already had a successful pregnancy (a girl!) with this donor. Since we have two rounds of injectables left, I ordered two vials. If neither of the next two attempts are successful... well, we're going to have to pull out even bigger guns, and prep for a trip to Greece for IVF with both donor eggs and sperm.
I also had to call the pharmacy to get a Follistim refill. Between the $819 in swimmers/shipping and the $740 in injectable drugs - in addition to the usual trigger shot, IUI procedure, and probably at least 4 ultrasounds at $45 each, this cycle's going to run us a lot more than any of the others - somewhere around $2800. Still a small price tag in comparison to what the Greek donor cycle will cost if it comes to that... but it's more than I can afford in one month, so we're going to be carrying a bit of credit card debt for the next few months.
Most of what I've read on internet forums seems to indicate that of the ladies who got pregnant using injectables, injectable cycle #2 was the one that worked. So maybe, just maybe - with a change in swimmers and a second round of meds - maybe we'll get our BFP this time.
I think this most recent BFN has been the hardest, and I'm not sure why. I wasn't feeling all that optimistic, from the moment we did the IUI and found out our swimmers had lower motility than expected... but I guess it's because the meds had been so expensive, and I'd made it through all of those scary daily shots, and it just seemed like after seven months of trying it should be our turn. When it didn't pan out... when I got up yesterday morning expecting to take pregnancy tests for the next few days and instead found that AF had arrived... it was just a lot harder than the other BFNs have been.
I think, after so many months trying, that both Kaitlin and I are feeling a little stuck. This process is so expensive that we can't really move on with our lives and do the other things we want to do - have a wedding, install a floor in the basement, take a vacation, not really anything - until we get our BFP. And most of our plans for the future revolve around the things we want to do after that BFP comes, after we know we're adding a new member to our family. I'll be changing my name. We'll be eloping, probably, to another state to get married (we want a wedding here, too, but I don't want pregnant-bride wedding photos; I want the chance to have the baby and then work off the baby weight so I can feel pretty in my wedding pictures. So we're doing a legal elopement, pre-baby, and a legal, local full-on wedding in a year or so afterward.) And then there's family vacations, house renovations, and the like, all of which are dependent on when... and if... we get pregnant. It feels like life is on hold pending the outcome of this long, expensive, exhausting, emotionally draining process.
Part of me would like to take a break from TTC for a while, but there's no time. My eggs are already so diminished, in quantity and quality, that it has to be now. If the next two cycles don't work, though... then we'll probably take a break for a few months, to pay off the remaining debt of these cycles and try to save up enough to get started on the donor cycle in Greece. And in a way, I am hoping that if the trip is necessary, it will feel like a vacation and not just another battle in this infertility war.
If I ever have a daughter, I think the one bit of motherly advice I want to make sure to pass on is that she shouldn't wait too long to start her family, like I did. I hope she gets her fertility checked early so she knows how much time she has. I hope she doesn't have to go through any of this. Not that I want her to be a teen mom or anything, but... I wouldn't wish this agonizing process on anybody.
Moving on....
But, my darling fiancee brought home yellow roses (my favorite color) and chocolate cake for me yesterday. After two shots of Grand Marnier and three tylenol I was still hurting so badly I couldn't get comfortable on the couch, so finally I just gave up and went to bed early. I wanted to be unconscious through the worst of it. The cramping is not as intense today, but still really unpleasant, and I am feeling cranky and not at all able to focus on work. But I can't exactly go home, because I have a meeting with my boss this afternoon that I have to make sure I'm "on" for. Dreading it, but I'll make it through somehow.
Was late to work again this morning so I could go have an ultrasound done, and there's at least one bright spot in all of this: I DON'T HAVE LEFTOVER FOLLICLES THIS TIME. [Insert the Hallelujah Chorus] We can actually start another round right away. There are no words for what a relief that is... it's been so discouraging to have to take nearly every other month off of TTC to go on birth control instead. I think if I'd found out that we were going to have to skip August too, I might have had to go home crying for the rest of the day.
So, there's a silver lining after all, and I just placed another order with NorthWest Cryobank. We decided we are going to switch donors, to see if maybe a change in swimmers will give us better luck. We're going with #9319: brown wavy hair, green eyes, ambidextrous, tall, artsy and science-y. I think his "baby" photo looks a lot more like Kaitlin than our first donor, too (she says he looks like her brother.) Also, one of the other forum users has already had a successful pregnancy (a girl!) with this donor. Since we have two rounds of injectables left, I ordered two vials. If neither of the next two attempts are successful... well, we're going to have to pull out even bigger guns, and prep for a trip to Greece for IVF with both donor eggs and sperm.
I also had to call the pharmacy to get a Follistim refill. Between the $819 in swimmers/shipping and the $740 in injectable drugs - in addition to the usual trigger shot, IUI procedure, and probably at least 4 ultrasounds at $45 each, this cycle's going to run us a lot more than any of the others - somewhere around $2800. Still a small price tag in comparison to what the Greek donor cycle will cost if it comes to that... but it's more than I can afford in one month, so we're going to be carrying a bit of credit card debt for the next few months.
Most of what I've read on internet forums seems to indicate that of the ladies who got pregnant using injectables, injectable cycle #2 was the one that worked. So maybe, just maybe - with a change in swimmers and a second round of meds - maybe we'll get our BFP this time.
I think this most recent BFN has been the hardest, and I'm not sure why. I wasn't feeling all that optimistic, from the moment we did the IUI and found out our swimmers had lower motility than expected... but I guess it's because the meds had been so expensive, and I'd made it through all of those scary daily shots, and it just seemed like after seven months of trying it should be our turn. When it didn't pan out... when I got up yesterday morning expecting to take pregnancy tests for the next few days and instead found that AF had arrived... it was just a lot harder than the other BFNs have been.
I think, after so many months trying, that both Kaitlin and I are feeling a little stuck. This process is so expensive that we can't really move on with our lives and do the other things we want to do - have a wedding, install a floor in the basement, take a vacation, not really anything - until we get our BFP. And most of our plans for the future revolve around the things we want to do after that BFP comes, after we know we're adding a new member to our family. I'll be changing my name. We'll be eloping, probably, to another state to get married (we want a wedding here, too, but I don't want pregnant-bride wedding photos; I want the chance to have the baby and then work off the baby weight so I can feel pretty in my wedding pictures. So we're doing a legal elopement, pre-baby, and a legal, local full-on wedding in a year or so afterward.) And then there's family vacations, house renovations, and the like, all of which are dependent on when... and if... we get pregnant. It feels like life is on hold pending the outcome of this long, expensive, exhausting, emotionally draining process.
Part of me would like to take a break from TTC for a while, but there's no time. My eggs are already so diminished, in quantity and quality, that it has to be now. If the next two cycles don't work, though... then we'll probably take a break for a few months, to pay off the remaining debt of these cycles and try to save up enough to get started on the donor cycle in Greece. And in a way, I am hoping that if the trip is necessary, it will feel like a vacation and not just another battle in this infertility war.
If I ever have a daughter, I think the one bit of motherly advice I want to make sure to pass on is that she shouldn't wait too long to start her family, like I did. I hope she gets her fertility checked early so she knows how much time she has. I hope she doesn't have to go through any of this. Not that I want her to be a teen mom or anything, but... I wouldn't wish this agonizing process on anybody.
Moving on....
Monday, July 28, 2014
IUI#4 CD23 10DPI – BFN
I took a few pregnancy tests throughout the day yesterday,
even though it was only 9DPI, just for fun. Last night we even had what might
have been called a squinter – both Kaitlin and I could see it – so I was really
excited to get up and take another test this morning.
But, not only were the tests negative this morning, it
appears AF has started too. So another BFN, at only 10DPI. AF arrived earlier
than usual because I wasn’t on progesterone this cycle. And while the BFN wasn’t
a huge surprise, having AF show up this early kind of was… it means my cycle
was only 22 days long.
Though a part of me is hoping it might be implantation
spotting, this feels like AF to me, complete with preliminary ittybitty cramps.
I broke out with acne last week, too, and was hoping it might be a pregnancy
symptom, but no – just plain old PMS. SIGH.
I will have to call the doctor this morning, I’m sure they’ll
want me to come in for a blood test. Then I have to order more swimmers and
more Follistim, and we start this whole song and dance again.
On the other hand, because we have to order more swimmers, I'm going to try and talk Kaitlin into changing donors. We’ll order two vials,
and do two more injectable cycles. If neither works, then it’s on to Greece to
try donor egg IVF, I guess.
Feeling sad today.
[EDIT] So wait, hold the phone...
This morning when I wiped, I had what looked like a perfectly normal beginning period. Bright red, enough of a flow to indicate it was going to be more than spotting.
But I just went to the bathroom again (it's been about an hour and a half) and now the flow seems lighter in volume, darker in color. Also, it hasn't actually gotten onto the pad yet, and usually I'd expect it to be heavier by now rather than lighter. I am having very light cramping. Could it be implantation? I mean, I'm guessing that it's probably still AF, but I wonder... Either way I'll still need to call the doctor and get the blood test set up, because if it's AF we have to gear up for our next round of injections. I think I'll wait until noon to call, so that I can see what happens with this weird bleeding. Hoping against hope that maybe it actually goes AWAY in the next hour... which would feel a lot more promising :P
[EDIT] Nope. Definitely AF :(
[EDIT] So wait, hold the phone...
This morning when I wiped, I had what looked like a perfectly normal beginning period. Bright red, enough of a flow to indicate it was going to be more than spotting.
But I just went to the bathroom again (it's been about an hour and a half) and now the flow seems lighter in volume, darker in color. Also, it hasn't actually gotten onto the pad yet, and usually I'd expect it to be heavier by now rather than lighter. I am having very light cramping. Could it be implantation? I mean, I'm guessing that it's probably still AF, but I wonder... Either way I'll still need to call the doctor and get the blood test set up, because if it's AF we have to gear up for our next round of injections. I think I'll wait until noon to call, so that I can see what happens with this weird bleeding. Hoping against hope that maybe it actually goes AWAY in the next hour... which would feel a lot more promising :P
[EDIT] Nope. Definitely AF :(
Friday, July 18, 2014
IUI#4 CD13 – Well drat….
The Ovidrel trigger shot on Wednesday night was particularly
uncomfortable – for some reason the needle had a harder time going in, so the
injection was even less fun than usual. But we made it through it somehow, and
had our fourth IUI this morning.
I am bummed, though. This last vial of swimmers had only a
7.4 million count, where NW Cryobank guarantees 20 million per CC (the vial was
.45 CC). The doctor gave us the analysis
sheet to show to NW, but I don’t think we’ll get to claim reimbursement because
the vials have been stored at my RE’s office since January, and NW’s guarantee
only applies within 30 days of them shipping the vials out. NW will also only
issue a refund in the event you don’t get pregnant (obviously if the vial
worked, there were clearly enough sperm in it!) so I wouldn’t be able to ask
them until after the TWW anyway.
But I am bummed. Here we went through all of those
injections to try and increase the number of eggs, and ended up with a reduced
number of swimmers. Kind of dims one’s hopes a bit. The nurse said she’s seen
people get pregnant with counts under 10 mil. And, I have a much, much thicker
uterine lining than I have in past cycles. And, I should hopefully have 3 good
eggs for the swimmers to choose from, as opposed to 1-2. But the reduced count
is discouraging anyway… especially when there’s been so much time, money, and
needle-phobia involved just to get this far.
Also, because there was only one nurse on staff this morning
we had to wait a lot longer for our procedure than usual. My appointment was at
9:30 and they didn’t get us in until around 10:40. Luckily, I had taken the
trigger shot at 10:15 or so on Wednesday, so we should still have okay timing
when it comes to ovulation.
But I don’t know. Overall I guess this has been my least
favorite IUI experience. We still saved the vial, in case it works... but if it
doesn’t, I think we’re going with a different donor next time around, to see if
we end up with any better luck.
From what I’ve read, the 2nd try with injectables
seems to be a more magic # than the 1st one, anyway.
But I am really not looking forward to another two weeks of
daily stabbings. Pfffft.
So now, we wait. For better or worse, we can’t do anything else
for two weeks. Here goes nothing…
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
IUI#4 CD11 Triggering tonight
I've been taking Follistim shots every night for the last... oh... eight nights. After the first three 150IU doses, I had some bloodwork and an ultrasound and they lowered my dose to 75IU. More bloodwork and an ultrasound on Sunday, which showed two follies - one at 15 mm and one at 13 mm. Another round of bloodwork and ultrasound yesterday morning (Tuesday), which showed three follies - 21mm, 17mm and 16mm. The bloodwork shows my estrogen levels are continuously rising, though I'm not sure what that means; I get the impression that it's what the doc uses to determine my dosages. Anyway, the nurse called me yesterday afternoon and lowered my dose to 50IU for last night. Tonight we do the Ovidrel trigger, and IUI number four is scheduled for Friday morning.
I am so tired of getting poked with needles!! Seriously. Kaitlin's mom was visiting us over the weekend and we had to do a couple of the injections while she was there, which was a bit off-putting for me since I usually freak out before the needle goes in, and I felt really self-conscious about freaking out so ridiculously in front of someone else. :P But we made it through this round, and now I only have one more injection to deal with until we're back in the TWW again.
I don't think I've ever had a follie get larger than 20mm, so I'm excited about that. I don't know if the other two will ovulate also, but three big ones doesn't seem bad - and, my lining is thicker and nicer than I've ever seen it before, since the Clomid wasn't involved this time, so hoping against hope that this will be our cycle. We're on our last vial of swimmers, so if this round doesn't work we'll have to order a couple more vials - about $870 - in addition to reordering the Follistim and Ovidrel for another round.
Seven months we've been at this, with no luck yet. I know there are plenty of ladies who have waited a lot longer than that to get pregnant, but it is starting to be a little exhausting. Both Kaitlin and I are feeling like our entire future, all the plans for moving our life forward, hinge on when we are successful in getting pregnant - because getting pregnant takes so much money, we have no money to plan a wedding or do home improvements or any of the other things we want to do until we get those two pink lines. If I wasn't already so infertile we'd be working on several of those other things first (like getting married) but there's no time. If I'm going to be able to get pregnant, it has to be very, very soon, or it may never be able to happen at all. I know this is especially frustrating for Kaitlin... I know it is... but there's not really a way around it unless we want to give up on the idea of being moms altogether.
So anyway, that's where we're at. I'm tired of working long hours to make up for the time I've been out of work, so this TWW might actually feel like a reprieve - no more injections or doctor appointments for a while. Hoping to use it as a chance to recharge a little, because I've been feeling a bit hectic the last couple of weeks, like I don't have work and housekeeping and writing and all the other little elements of life as under control as I would like.
Kaitlin's unbirthday is coming up in August, though, and I already have a day full of fun stuff planned for her - I hope she enjoys it! Since her actual birthday is in December, she never really feels like she gets to celebrate since her day gets sort of lumped in with Christmas stuff. So we have decided to celebrate her birthday in August instead - an unbirthday - when it's warm and sunny and we can actually go do something fun. Which reminds me, I need to go to Kohls today and buy her birthday present before my $10 in Kohls cash expires. I got to take the day off of work too, which means a 3 day weekend for me - and it's sorely needed right now.
Did I mention that a couple weekends ago we went shopping and got Kaitlin some nice work clothes? And found her an absolutely beautiful fancy dress, that I'm going to have her wear to my brother's wedding in September. Now I need something pretty to wear too... I'm a little envious. :P
If this cycle IS the one that works, our due date will be April 10 - sounds like a great birthday to me. Fingers crossed, fingers crossed....
I am so tired of getting poked with needles!! Seriously. Kaitlin's mom was visiting us over the weekend and we had to do a couple of the injections while she was there, which was a bit off-putting for me since I usually freak out before the needle goes in, and I felt really self-conscious about freaking out so ridiculously in front of someone else. :P But we made it through this round, and now I only have one more injection to deal with until we're back in the TWW again.
I don't think I've ever had a follie get larger than 20mm, so I'm excited about that. I don't know if the other two will ovulate also, but three big ones doesn't seem bad - and, my lining is thicker and nicer than I've ever seen it before, since the Clomid wasn't involved this time, so hoping against hope that this will be our cycle. We're on our last vial of swimmers, so if this round doesn't work we'll have to order a couple more vials - about $870 - in addition to reordering the Follistim and Ovidrel for another round.
Seven months we've been at this, with no luck yet. I know there are plenty of ladies who have waited a lot longer than that to get pregnant, but it is starting to be a little exhausting. Both Kaitlin and I are feeling like our entire future, all the plans for moving our life forward, hinge on when we are successful in getting pregnant - because getting pregnant takes so much money, we have no money to plan a wedding or do home improvements or any of the other things we want to do until we get those two pink lines. If I wasn't already so infertile we'd be working on several of those other things first (like getting married) but there's no time. If I'm going to be able to get pregnant, it has to be very, very soon, or it may never be able to happen at all. I know this is especially frustrating for Kaitlin... I know it is... but there's not really a way around it unless we want to give up on the idea of being moms altogether.
So anyway, that's where we're at. I'm tired of working long hours to make up for the time I've been out of work, so this TWW might actually feel like a reprieve - no more injections or doctor appointments for a while. Hoping to use it as a chance to recharge a little, because I've been feeling a bit hectic the last couple of weeks, like I don't have work and housekeeping and writing and all the other little elements of life as under control as I would like.
Kaitlin's unbirthday is coming up in August, though, and I already have a day full of fun stuff planned for her - I hope she enjoys it! Since her actual birthday is in December, she never really feels like she gets to celebrate since her day gets sort of lumped in with Christmas stuff. So we have decided to celebrate her birthday in August instead - an unbirthday - when it's warm and sunny and we can actually go do something fun. Which reminds me, I need to go to Kohls today and buy her birthday present before my $10 in Kohls cash expires. I got to take the day off of work too, which means a 3 day weekend for me - and it's sorely needed right now.
Did I mention that a couple weekends ago we went shopping and got Kaitlin some nice work clothes? And found her an absolutely beautiful fancy dress, that I'm going to have her wear to my brother's wedding in September. Now I need something pretty to wear too... I'm a little envious. :P
If this cycle IS the one that works, our due date will be April 10 - sounds like a great birthday to me. Fingers crossed, fingers crossed....
Friday, July 11, 2014
IUI#4 CD6 – First Progress Ultrasound
My shipment of Follistim
arrived okay yesterday – when I pulled it off my porch that evening the cold
packs were still cold, so I popped it in the refrigerator until injection time.
After three nights in a row of injections (and last night Kaitlin hit a blood
vessel so I ended up with a little more blood than usual) I went in this
morning for our first in-progress ultrasound. So far there are 5 follies, with
one at 11mm and one at 13mm – it sounds good to me, but I don’t really know if
that’s what they’re expecting or not. They also drew blood, so I’m expecting a
call this afternoon to let me know if my doses should change. I have another
ultrasound appointment on Sunday morning at 8:20 – not super thrilled about
getting up that early on a weekend, but it’s still better than having to come
into work late.
My boss was on vacation for
this past week, which was really great. For some reason, even when she’s being relatively
un-scary, I still feel so much more relaxed and de-stressed when she is out.
And of course, the day she got back and I started receiving emails from her
again my stress level went back up. Also, I should be getting my 6-month
performance review any time now, and I fully expect to take a hit because my
staff have been requesting more overtime – that’s shown up as a negative on my
last several reviews, with the accompanying comment that if I was better at guiding
staff to work more efficiently they would not need OT (never mind the fact that
their caseloads are twice the size of what can be worked in 40-hour weeks).
And, we had a big client complaint earlier this year because one of my staff
dropped the ball on a case, and I expect I’ll have to take a hit over that,
too. I just keep trying to remind myself that as long as my overall score is
above a 3, I’m okay – no matter what things my boss asks me to improve, or even
whether or not they’re achievable, as long as the review doesn’t come back that
I suck at my job (like that awful, awful one in 2012) then I’m okay.
I just wish that “good” would
be satisfactory. And it never will be, because the folks I work for believe in
constantly pushing for “better”. It’s exhausting, and while I realize I’m
supposed to find it inspirational, challenging and exciting, it really just
feels stressful, discouraging and impossible. They’ll never be content or let
things lie. The bar is always going to be just out of reach. The older I get,
the shittier that feels. I guess the only day I’ll actually feel like I can
relax, that I have “arrived”, is the day that I retire. Since that day is
thirty years down the road… well, it’s a little depressing.
Okay, done bitching. Back to eating the elephant one bite at a time… someday retirement will
find me. Or I’ll get really, really lucky and win the lottery, write a runaway
best-seller or Kaitlin will get some ridiculously high-paying job – and I can
blow this pop stand and live happily as a stay-at-home mom and work-from-home
fiction writer.
A girl can dream, right?
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
IUI#4 CD4 - First Follistim dose down - even more on the way
So after a lot of hyperventilating and tears last night (because I am the world's biggest baby, with a huge fear of needles) Kaitlin gave me my first Follistim injection at 9 PM. The injection part was okay, just a little sting, and it didn't take too long for her to inject the medicine. It actually hurt more after the injection was over - probably about 15 minutes of light stinging and burning at the injection site. Kaitlin tried to calm me down by having me visualize a baby boy in a baseball outfit, and then also a baby girl - but that actually added to the anxiety, because OMG twins would be so scary! :P Doc says she thinks my chances of twins are really low, even with the meds, but I figure they're still probably higher than average.
We get to do it again tonight. Joy. :P This baby had just better appreciate how badly he/she is wanted, because I am enduring one of my biggest phobias to make him/her happen!
Today I've been on the phone with the mail-order pharmacy, arranging to get the remainder of my meds. They're sending me one 900IU cartridge - I think that might not be enough, but I guess we'll see. And they really wanted someone to sign for the package tomorrow, but neither Kaitlin or I will be home during the day. They tried to tell me that the mail carrier could leave me a sticker and I could go pick it up, but I know the UPS/Fedex offices are closed after 6 PM, and I don't get home until then. Then they tried to get me to ship it to my work, but we have a mail room here that slows down mail processing by a couple of days... and I don't know if it's the same at Kaitlin's but I wouldn't be surprised, since she works for Microsoft.
Anyway, I then had to sign a waiver of signature delivery, which means if the package arrives broken or whatever I can't hold the pharmacy responsible because they won't have any way of knowing whether that happened before or after delivery. The waiver also specifies that the delivery driver may still opt not to leave the package, and if they don't, the pharmacy isn't responsible. And of course, if the meds overheat before I get home, they're not responsible for that either. Which gives me worry on a whole other level. But I can't just take a day off of work to sit around waiting for meds to arrive, and I have to have the meds delivered tomorrow or I won't have my medication dose that night... so there's really no other choice.
Fortunately my house is north-facing and if they leave the meds on my porch they should be out of the direct sun. So long as the driver is willing to leave them, and no one steals them, and there's enough ice packs in there to keep it cold until I can get home, it will be okay. I have no choice but to pray that's the case... not just so that I don't waste $740 worth of medication, but also so that we don't end up missing out on an attempt this cycle.
$740 is better than what I was estimating, though, so I'm not going to complain. If I respond well to the 150IU doses, maybe the doc will even let me dial it back to a smaller dose or do fewer days of injections, which will save some money too. And maybe-just-maybe we'll get super lucky, and this round will give us three or four nice big follicles, and I'll have a nice cushy uterine lining for them to land in, and one of them - a nice big healthy one - will fertilize and implant all pretty and neat, and we will get to meet our new baby in April next year. Hope hope hope???
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