12WK3D - Bump pics & the weekend

Still don't have our 12-week ultrasound pics scanned in *pokes Kaitlin* but here's the updated bump pics. PLUMBABY! Pardon the sleepy eyes, wasn't feeling so great when we took the pics :P

It's kind of hard to tell if there's much growth going on yet, even though the belly sticker insists we've got a plum in there (and ultrasound said baby is now nearly 6 cm long!) In fact, at the doctor appointment I'd only gained one pound since our last visit. Not that I'm complaining, mind you!

So I had a pretty good day on Saturday, more energy than usual in the morning, and Kaitlin and I were able to get some errands and things done. The plan was to work on my sewing project on Sunday, but unfortunately that didn't happen - Sunday was another of those days when I could barely get out of bed. I didn't get up, in fact, until around 2 in the afternoon, and even then it was only to stumble downstairs to eat some cereal and lie like a lump on the couch. X.x

Unfortunately, this morning also started off low-energy AND with some nausea, in spite of the fact that I've been taking my Diclegis nightly. I really hope this doesn't mean that the meds aren't working anymore. I don't know if the nausea is just getting that much worse this week or what, but I'm expecting tonight will be pretty miserable if I'm already feeling gross this morning. Ugh.

Getting up to pee at least twice every night now, which wreaks a lot of havoc with my sleep patterns - this morning I got up around 3:30 AM and never did get to go all the way back to sleep. I'm nervous about what this is going to mean when we actually have our little one in the house, needing a feeding every two hours. I may literally not get to have all-the-way sleep for months and months, unless Kaitlin can trade off the breastfeeding with me like she's hoping - it would be a serious godsend to have a spare pair of boobs around, LOL - might actually allow me to get some real sleep every now and then. I guess we just have to wait and see.

Anyway, got an email back from the lovely lady at Denver Maternity Photography, who said we could do a photoshoot sometime in February. I absolutely fell in love with her style from all the gorgeous photos on her website and am really looking forward to working with her... hopefully she can make Kaitlin and I look as glamorous and pretty as the other clients she's worked with!

TWELVE WEEKS

We've made it to twelve weeks, ya'all!!!! Just a few more days to go until we hit the end of the first trimester. On one hand it feels like it went by quickly, probably because I was so sick I didn't have much time to really think about anything else. On the other hand, it's felt like the sickness would NEVER END, so I'm really hopeful that soon we'll be moving into a much more fun stage of pregnancy.

Today is a really busy day. For the first time in weeks, I'm feeling better - an okay balance between being tired and queasy, something that's pretty manageable. So the plan is to start doing a couple of five-minute walks during the work day, and slowly increase that until I'm getting in a good half hour of activity daily. I am so horribly out of shape now that I get winded just walking from my car to my office, and it doesn't feel very good. I'm looking forward to getting back to a more fit and oxygen-efficient state, hehe.

I am going to spend my lunch break getting a hair cut, because my hair has been growing a lot faster in the past few weeks and I'm starting to look a wee bit That-70's-Show-ish.

Tasks on the list today include finding and sending an initial inquiry to a maternity photographer (done); printing the legal documents Kaitlin and I are going to have signed this weekend (done); sending an initial inquiry to the Vegas wedding chapel about our elopement ceremony (done); calling my bank to make a notary appointment for tomorrow, and calling the 4D ultrasound place here in town to buy a scan package and make our gender-determination-scan appointment. By the time we go in for the scan we should already have the Harmony results back, but it will still be fun to confirm via an actual peek at the goods!

Also, while the doctor yesterday confirmed I've only gained one pound so far, I definitely am in need of some maternity basics - namely a more comfortable bra and a pair of jeans I don't have to wear unbuttoned. That's also on the list for this weekend, along with a trip to the bank to take care of my name change, sell back our unused Euro, get our documents notarized and get some checks for Kaitlin for her account, and I really have to sit down and get some progress accomplished on the SCA sewing project.

In case you can't tell, my energy level today is so, so, SO much better than it has been in weeks and weeks, and it's a great feeling. Hoping this is a sign that either the Diclegis has finally hit its stride and/or the morning sickness is on its way out.

I'll have an updated baby bump pic to post tomorrow, but for now here's what BabyCenter says baby looks like today. We actually got to see those little skinny legs stretching, and one of those little precious hands, at the ultrasound yesterday <3

11WK6D - Ultrasound appointment

So tomorrow we will hit twelve weeks (yay, I really can't WAIT for this first trimester to be over) and we went in this morning for an ultrasound. Here's a super flattering picture of me watching baby dance all over the screen:

The bruises on my tummy are fading some, as we're only doing the shots every other night now - only one more week to go, and then NO MORE INJECTIONS!!!! So very excited for THAT. :P

Anyway, baby is doing great. Measuring 12WK3D - about 5.9cm - little overachiever! And he/she has two legs and two arms and an a-okay nuchal thickness (no Down's indicators that the tech could see.) Oh, and we saw at least one hand with a perfect little thumb and four fingers. Baby was wiggling and squirming so much that the ultrasound tech had a bit of a time trying to get good measurements, but we got a bunch of pics to take home that I'll post probably tomorrow, and a couple of videos of the wiggling. Behold:

They also drew blood for a cystic fibrosis and Harmony test. Apparently if we get both tests, insurance is more likely to cover them at no charge (??) So we opted for both, and I thanked the doctor for the anti-morning-sickness meds. In spite of how uncomfortable I've been the past few weeks, life with the meds is still decidedly better than without them. 

Sadly, it's looking like we are going to have to change doctors. :( My work's open enrollment for health  benefits is coming up next month, and I have to switch to a different network (one that's free for me, a spouse, AND a child) because my current network will be way too expensive to cover both Kaitlin and the baby. The new network, though, is completely exclusive - I cannot go to ANY doctor who is not in-network - and my OB-GYN is not in the network. So now I guess I have to find a new provider, and our next appointment will likely be with whoever that is, at 16 weeks. Sigh. 

I'm going to wait until after we get our Harmony test results back from this doctor, and I have to make sure to ask her to mail the results to me so that I can give them to the new doc... and then I'll have to start the process of calling around for a new OB. She said we should get the results in about a week, though, so I'm pretty excited about that... in a week, we'll know whether baby is a boy or girl (even if I'm not allowed to tell anybody).

Anyway, really happy to see that baby is doing well and scooting around happily in there... makes all the misery and exhaustion of the past few weeks worth it. One more week to go, and we'll be in the clear to tell friends & family about the coming addition to our little family!

Things are going to really start getting nutty in the next couple of months, with elopement preparations and baby preparations kicking into gear. Really hoping the morning sickness will go away soon so that I've got the energy to tackle it all :)

11WK3D - Diclegis

Well, today is my fourth day on Diclegis. The exhaustion, especially over the weekend, has been pretty crippling. I literally laid in bed or on the couch the entire weekend. I had to come back to work today, and *knock on wood* seem to have a bit more energy in comparison to this weekend, but that's not saying a whole lot.

I am starting to feel like I'm being pretty whiny and negative, which is not at all what I had envisioned or wanted for pregnancy. It's not like pregnancy sucks in every way, either - I sort of enjoy the changes in my body, the little pangs and stretches in my belly, and my hair and nails have never looked so good. :P But the sick-and-tired part of pregnancy is so pervasive that it's difficult to brush aside in favor of the more positive things. Literally every day I'm googling "when will morning sickness end" and "when does pregnancy fatigue end". The answers tend to be not-terribly-comforting at this stage. I'm 11 1/2 weeks into this, and the internet says you start feeling better at around 14 - 16 weeks. That means at least two and a half more weeks before it gets better. Right now it's hard to imagine how I'm going to make it until 5 PM, let alone through the rest of this week, and next week, and the week after that at work.

So the first day I was on Diclegis the zombie-like tiredness was as bad as the nausea had been... and while the nausea was reduced, it still came back that afternoon/evening. The second day I had no nausea, just felt like I'd been running a marathon for two days, and I could barely get out of bed. Same thing on the third day. Today is day four, and the nausea is still at bay (thank heavens) and I seem to have a smidge more energy. Still would trade just about anything to be able to go back to bed. Except the one thing I'd have to trade, which would be a shorter maternity leave once baby actually arrives - I'm toughing it out right now because I want a FULL twelve week leave. I want every last hour of not-being-at-work that I can squeeze in with our new little one, and if I eat up my sick days now I won't have enough leave time to cover it.

Still, I am wondering if I might work some half days, take my computer home, and do some work from home between naps instead of trying to power through all of it here. I think I can probably get away with that about one day a week. Also planning on taking lunch breaks to nap in my office, even if the floor is hard and cold and uncomfortable.

Anyway, whine, whine, whine. I really wasn't expecting to be this down in the dumps when we've finally, FINALLY managed to get pregnant after all this time! I just have to keep reminding myself that as miserable as it physically feels right now, our dream of being moms is coming true at last... and keep hanging in there. <3

ELEVEN WEEKS

Honestly I lack enthusiasm for blogging today, I just didn't want to miss our weekly milestone post. I was so miserable Wednesday that I did leave work early... went home, got in bed, and proceeded to feel worse and worse until it was time to sleep. Called in sick yesterday and managed to sleep until 9:30, which helped a little but was still sick to the point where I felt like crying by last night.

I called my OB-GYN and told them I'd changed my mind, could I please have an anti-nausea prescription after all, because the B6 wasn't working. Waited around for most of the day until I got a call in the late afternoon that they'e prescribed me Diclegis, which is basically Unisom + B6. Not what I was hoping for, both because I didn't want to not be able to take my Ambien, and because the B6 I've been taking hasn't really done any good. Still, we went over to Walgreens to pick it up... and there was an issue with my doctor not filling out the form. Drove home to get my phone (I'd left it at home thinking it would be a quick trip to the drugstore), called the OBGYN, they said they'd already completed the form and sent it to the pharmacy. Went back to the pharmacy, where they then said it wasn't the doctor's form they needed, it was that my insurance was rejecting the prescription, so if I wanted the meds I'd have to pay over $600 for them. Called my insurance, they said it was the amount of pills - I was only allowed to have 30 days and the pharmacist was submitting it for 90. Waited in line at the pharmacy AGAIN, but they still couldn't get it to go through. Waited on hold with my insurance AGAIN, only to find out that their systems were down so they couldn't approve anything.

Went home. Waited an hour. Called the pharmacy, but they reported my insurance systems were still down. Waited another hour. Was just about to call again when I got an incoming call from the pharmacist - the prescription had gone through, but they only had 5 days' worth of pills in stock, so I'd need to pick those up and then come back on Monday to pick up the rest.

Went back to the pharmacy for the fourth time and finally got the meds (well, this time I asked Kaitlin to go, because I absolutely could not stomach another car ride.) Finally got the pills and took two of them the moment they were in my possession. Went to bed - and couldn't sleep. After lying there for about three hours, got up and took just 1/4 of an Ambien pill. Was able to go to sleep.

Got up this morning for work, and by then, finally, the Diclegis had kicked in. Nausea dialed back to mildly annoying instead of hellish, but now I'm also really groggy, because I have a sleeping medication in my system even though I have to be awake. Not entirely sure which is worse, but right now I guess I'll take the grogginess over the nausea.

So I am here, at work, after all of that insanity. Really grateful that it's Friday and I only have to make it through one day at work before I get a couple more days off to rest. Really, really hoping that this is the worst that it's going to get, and that I'll be able to get back to feeling normal soon. 

Just going to try and make it through the little things at work today - staff time sheets, little daily tasks - and hopefully nothing that requires much in the way of brain power. I am super envious right now of moms who don't have to work during their first trimester. SIGH. At the same time, I have read so many horror stories of women who have had morning sickness much, much worse than mine, so I feel a little guilty for feeling so sorry for myself. It could be worse. It could be a lot worse.

Anyway, our next ultrasound is in a week, so right now just trying to make it through day by day until the sickness passes. I can make it until 5 PM, right??

Here's what BabyCenter says baby looks like today:

10WK5D - Sicker and Sicker

I am hoping that the morning sickness is peaking for me this week, because it's the most intense, consistent and intrusive it's been thus far, and at this moment I can't imagine how awful life will be if it gets much worse.

Still no vomiting. Just a raw, acidy feeling in my stomach, that starts out being just annoying and icky in the morning, but by nighttime is pretty much hell. For the last couple days I haven't even had a few minutes of break from it... instead it's just always there, making me feel crappy, and I have to figure out how to smile and chat with my staff and my boss and my clients as if I'm not desperately wishing I could either puke on their shoes or curl up in a ball at their feet and nap.

Sigh.

Liquids are still the hardest, that awful seasick feeling after just a few sips. Yet water tastes so good... I WANT it, I know my body wants it, but as soon as it's in my stomach it magnifies the queasies by a hundred.

I'm actually feeling so awful today that I'm seriously considering going home. Just trying to decide if I should take my lunch hour to nap on the floor in my office, and then leave at 3 (I worked enough flex time on Monday and Tuesday to cover it) or just go home at noon and use a half day of sick time. Trying to save up my sick time for maternity leave. And I feel a little silly for leaving work sick when I know I'm not going to feel any better tomorrow, and it's not like I'm contagious or throwing up or anything. It's not exactly something I can just sleep off, either.

I think the nap / leaving at 3 plan is the wiser way to go, if I can make it that far. I slept like a rock last night and still woke up exhausted; also I'm having a lot of vivid adventurous dreams (there was a big black werewolf!) and wondering if that is contributing somewhat to how tired I feel when I wake up. I know if I go home I'm just going to go to bed and sleep, which is probably good for me, but I also have to make it through the hour-long commute to get home. Yesterday the drive home was particularly bad - stop and go traffic in rush hour for almost an hour and a half, and by the time I got home it felt basically like the worst hangover I've ever had.

Ugh.

The internet seems to agree that weeks 9-10 is the average "peak" time for morning sickness, so right now I'm just really hoping that I'm getting through the worst of it and things will start easing up next week.

Anyway, so far here are the things that HAVE helped (sort of):

ginger ale
saltines - though now I have to eat them with cheese on top, because the saltine flavor by itself makes me nauseous
jolly rancher candies - no idea why these are effective, but they seem to distract my mouth/stomach from feeling gross
hummus and pretzels
pickles, and pickle juice
tortilla soup
Adding extra salt to my food
the smell of our laundry fabric softener (it smells AMAZING. Like, AMAZING. I want it under my nose ALL THE TIME.)
SLEEP. Sleep, more than anything.

And these things do NOT help:

eating before I get out of bed - this makes it worse; I can stave off the worsening of the nausea longer if I wait until 9-10AM to eat anything
ginger chews/candy - makes it a LOT worse
anything mint or peppermint - UGH
drinking more than a few sips of water at a time
drinking anything other than water, except ginger ale which is sometimes ok
flavoring water with anything
Vitamin b6 - I'm still taking it daily in the hopes it will do something, but it doesn't really feel like it has any effect
exercise, even just two minutes of slow walking, makes it worse
potato chips (I can't stand the thought of them - and they're usually one of my favorite vices)
cookies
yogurt - something about the texture I just can't handle
the nasty sugar aftertaste in my mouth after eating anything sweet or high in carbs - I basically have to wash most food/soda/candy/crackers down with pickles or a bit of salt licked right out of my palm, otherwise I feel like a kid with a stomachache from eating sweets...
salad dressings or other foods with high oil content
unexpected sweet flavors in savory foods (like a sweet sauce on a hamburger)
the smell of hairspray, other people's food, and the lingering smell of our dinner after I've eaten it
lack of sleep

Now, I have always preferred salty foods to sweet ones, and I've always felt nauseous/queasy when I don't get enough sleep, so I can't really blame those entirely on morning sickness. But, it does seem like they're worse right now. I have to be careful with the ginger ale and jolly ranchers so that I don't over-sugar myself, but in moderation they help some of the symptoms.

Tell you what, this first trimester crap is not nearly as fun as they make it look on TV. :P You always see the pregnant lady throwing up (once) into a toilet, and go "AHA, that character's pregnant!" and then the storyline goes on with all the pregnancy drama and pretty much never shows our heroine turning green and taking naps and generally being miserable for the rest of the story arc. Pffft.

Just another reason to be looking forward to the second trimester, when (*knock on wood*) things are supposed to actually get more fun.

10WK3D - Bump Pic

Here's the bump pic we took over the weekend - yay!

I think my tummy looks a bit larger, though I still haven't had much weight gain.  Morning sickness still going strong... this weekend was tough, and I slept for 12-13 hours at a stretch, not waking up until almost noon both days. Thank god for weekends!! Saturday was spent doing a little sweeping and putting away some laundry. Sunday we got groceries and I did some more sewing on the SCA project. We also went to see Jurassic World, which was unfortunately not the relaxing experience we were hoping for... we went to a dine-in theater that's not-our-usual-theater, and didn't much care for their service or their food, and overall I think it turned out more of a stressful outing than a fun one. Sad. 

I've noticed that I seem to be a lot more anxious in the past week or so. No particular reason, I don't have that much more stress going on than usual, but I feel sort of on-edge and easily overwhelmed. It probably has something to do with being so tired and queasy, and when I think about all the things I need to accomplish in spite of how I feel, I worry I won't get it all done, or that I'll forget something important. Ironically, I also find that when I just buckle down and do the things in spite of not feeling well, I tend to be more distracted from the not-feeling-well and actually feel somewhat better as a result. Go figure. 

There was a bit of drama at work on Friday, too, that added somewhat to my anxiety -  a former staff person who I'd really liked and trusted was discovered to have misused one of our work accounts, and now there are procedures and processes to be reviewed and tightened. A more secure process is always a good thing, I just wish that people wouldn't be dishonest like that and do things they know darned well they aren't supposed to. (I know, I know, if wishes were horses...) 

Anyway, I don't feel at all ready for another work week. I need at least three more days of sleep. Sigh... But no such luck, so back at work I am. Here's hoping this week goes by a lot faster than the last one!