37WK4D - Home Stretch

Less than three weeks from baby boy's due date, and so many developments I will basically have to list them in bullets:

Symptoms (I have, like, everything right now)

• I sleep for maybe 5 hours a night until the congestion keeps me from being able to go back to sleep in the wee hours of the morning. Also, my first two fingers and thumb on each hand go numb after I've been laying down for a while, which is distracting.
• Excessively thirsty. Can't seem to drink enough water.
• Swelling in my ankles and hands has actually gone down. Still a little bit going on but nowhere near as painful or crippling as a couple weeks ago. Very, very grateful for the relief from this one.
• Congestion is increasingly worse, and harder to manage even with nasal spray... It wears off too fast.
• Tired. Nauseous, especially in the morning. Heightened anxiety.
• Belly button is almost flat with the rest of my stomach now.
• Swollen, uncomfortable girly bits. Oh, and hemorrhoids. Fun.

Last week's Doctor checkup:

• I lost two pounds (I think because the swelling has reduced) and belly didn't seem to be measuring any bigger than two weeks prior.
• They did a cervical exam, which hurt because my cervix is wayyyy high. She said it was still closed and firm, but about 66% effaced, and baby is head down.
• Baby's heart rate was in the 160's
• They ordered an ultrasound so we got to see him again. It was harder to get good image because he's big now. They estimated he was 7lbs, 8oz.... Gah!!! All his parts are in the right place and doing what they're supposed to, though. He keeps his hands up by his face, and his face mooshed into the placenta, so it was hard to get a good look at him.

Last night's developments:

• Pretty sure I had my first Braxton Hicks contraction (s). Bent down to pick up some laundry and when I straightened my whole belly felt tight, like I was trying to hold a sit-up. Stayed that way for a while. Seemed to get better when I sat down, but resumed when I got back up. There was no real beginning or end to the feeling, like I'd expected... It just was tight, then wasn't anymore. Weird.
• Also pretty sure I lost the mucus plug last night as I was peeing for the hundred millionth time. Wasn't as much as I expected and no blood or blood streaks. Just like a dime's worth of very clotted, shiny EWCM, kind of light yellow. Yay mucus. :P

Work:

• Oh, work. What a huge ball of crazy. My boss announced she is moving on to another job and her last day is 3 days before I'm due. She has always been very, very difficult to work with and I'm a little relieved to have the chance to be answerable to someone else, but the timing means my maternity coverage plan is out the window and my staff are pretty vulnerable for the next few weeks.
• One member of my staff resigned with no notice last week. Probably also a change for the better, though she was a good caseworker and her shoes will be hard to fill. We're getting to hire two contractors to replace her FTE, but I don't know if I'll be around long enough to interview and onboard them... And definitely not to train them. That means my one remaining experienced enforcement worker, who is already covering the majority of my duties because she's the only one who can, is the only resource for three newbie workers once I'm out.
• We're creating a team lead position in order to promote one of my remaining three seasoned workers into a position of more leadership (and higher pay.) but once the position posts there's a hiring process for that, too. Will I be there long enough to see it through?
• Our unit is being moved under the eligibility manager, Erin. I like her and I think it will be a nice change to report to her. In addition, they are going to hire a child support/customer service manager to report directly to her and oversee our unit. I thought I might have caught hints that Erin and our director, Dan, want me to apply for it.  I know that my soon to be former boss had no such intention and had a different person in mind for the job. Not sure if she will be part of the hiring process. Not sure if I would be screwing the team over if I apply, since if they picked me I couldn't step into the role until after maternity leave. Pretty sure that if I did apply and got the job, they would hire a new supervisor for the unit through our contract company. Also not sure how that would work but maybe it would actually be the best way to give my team the leadership they need while I'm out?
• Either way, that job is supposed to be posted in the next couple days. I am waiting for it to come out so I can read it before I decide whether to apply or not. If it does look like something I want, I have to figure out if I should talk to Erin or Dan first about whether I should apply,or just send in an app and see what they do with it, or chicken out because I don't want to see the look on my former boss' face or answer her snarky questions if she decides to be hard on me in the interview.
• All of that is, of course, assuming I don't go into labor first.

Other Developments:

Nursery painting is finally done and so, so cute. We have to wait for a chance to take pics in the daylight before we can share them, though. 

House is a wreck. I have so little mobility and energy and haven't been able to clean much. Thinking about hiring someone to do some chores as I think it would make me feel a little better.

Feeling more and more apprehensive about labor the closer we get. Labor has always been the scariest part of this whole thing for me. And of course, the closer you get the more people want to tell you their horror stories about how awful it is. What if i poop on the delivery table? What if I tear, or have to be cut? (I think I'd almost prefer a C-section, ugh.)  what if I throw up? What if the epidural doesn't work, or wears off? What if it's just horrific pain that there's nothing anybody can do anything about? Honestly I'm more scared of labor than anything else right now. Not worried for baby, I feel like he's going to be fine. Not worried for the exhaustion of a newborn's "schedule", that I can roll with the flow on. Not worried about diapers or even breastfeeding. Right now those things sound pretty manageable, in the face of pushing an eight (ten?) pound watermelon out of my body. I told Kaitlin that if I am in pain, if it's not going well, if I'm pooping or tearing or have to be cut, that I want all grandparents shooed out of the room. I'm ok with them being in there if the epidural is making things calm and bearable, but I really don't want to be self-conscious of my parents and hers looking on while I'm in bad shape.

So anyway. That's where life is right now. Still can't post pictures to this blog with my iPad, I'm going to have to find a solution to that eventually. In the meantime I've managed to kill the hour of not being able to sleep before my alarm goes off. Time to get up and head back to work...

32WK5D - Gender announcement

So we finally got to have our baby shower over the weekend, which means I'm finally allowed to announce baby's gender to the general world. ;) We decided to do the announcement simply through appropriate party decorations:

In case you can't see the banner across the windows very well - it's a BOY! <3

We were also able to share his name with everybody. Yes, we're going to end up *those* parents, the ones who name their kid something that's pretty off-the-beaten-path: Searc D'Artagnan. The first name is Irish Gaelic, means "love", and sounds like "shark". (Our alternate for a girl was "Saoirse", which means "freedom", and sounds like "Seersha".) And his middle name is a character from The Three Musketeers, which makes it both literary and related to swordfighting. ;) He'll either love it or hate it, I guess, but we've decided that if he doesn't like it we'll help him legally change it when he gets old enough to choose something different for himself. Still, I'm pretty convinced that few little boys would not love the name SHARK. And I'm kind of thinking many grown men would secretly love it too, LOL. 

So anyway, we had a wonderful party with many wonderful friends, and a few of their little ones too <3 We had the "It's A Small World" castle put on the cake, which turned out pretty nice, and got the chance to show off our halfway-finished nursery, and all in all really enjoyed ourselves. 

Of course, we were both really exhausted afterward, because we've spent weeks cleaning and doing nursery work to prep for the party. 

So Sunday, which was Valentine's Day, turned into a day for resting. I went shopping at a bunch of baby consignment and thrift stores for more nursery stuff, and we took our 32-week belly pic (gender announcement edition!):

I really do have a belly that shows up now, though it's still small enough that we scheduled our maternity photos for the 35 week mark, which is later than the photographer usually does them, in the hopes that the bump will be closer to the impressive ones she usually photographs. Of course, we also have to seriously hope that baby boy doesn't decide he's in a hurry and arrives before we get the chance to take pictures!

Things at work are still pressurized, though not as bad as they were in January. Right now I'm focused mostly on building a solid coverage plan while I'm out. I presented my maternity leave plan to my boss, and got the impression she's not thrilled I'm taking all 12 weeks of FMLA - but since I have the leave to cover it in full and I'm entitled to it by law, I guess the end result is that the plan is approved, even if she never directly said so. Anyway, the plan involves 8 weeks off, then working from home for 8 hours in week 9 and 16 hours in week 10, then four weeks working on-site 20 hours/week, then three weeks working 4-day weeks, before I'm completely back to full time. It really is a win-win, since I come back to work earlier, get to ease back into a work schedule instead of leaping back in, and get to use all 12 weeks of my leave. Oh, and by the time I'm back to a regular schedule I'll also have another 5 1/2 days worth of leave saved back up again. At no time will I actually be without leave hours entirely.

I'm looking forward to it maybe more than I should. For better or worse, I'll have eight weeks to refocus my life around my son instead of my job. Right now the round the clock feedings and diaper changes and so on still sound like a welcome vacation compared to the pressure cooker at work. :P One of the many reasons I wanted to be a parent so badly is so that I wouldn't grow old and look back on my life and realize I lived most of it defined by my job. A child lets me redefine my life around things that matter more than what I do for a paycheck.

So anyway, feeling pretty good this past week. Nausea is more under control since I increased the Diclegis, and congestion is mostly under control with Afrin. Had some sleeping difficulties in the last few days, but slept well last night (really didn't want to wake up this morning!) Baby boy is moving and grooving all the time. He's found one spot on my left side that I think he's jabbing an elbow into, and that randomly hurts, but otherwise it's the usual weird slooshing and sliming from one side to the other, or from top to bottom, or little kicks to my ribcage just under my lungs. He also gets the hiccups pretty regularly too. It took me a while to realize that's what they are, because it feels like a rhythmic kicking against my cervix from the inside. It's a bizarre sensation, but now that I know what it is it's kind of funny.

No Braxton-Hicks contractions that I've noticed. I have, however, graduated to the swollen ankles and feet stage, not enjoyng that so much. :P

A nursery post will be coming soon, promise! In the meantime, my lunch break's about over so time to get back to work ;)

25WK6D - Closing Out The Year

Starting this off with a belly pic from Christmas last week, which coincidentally fell on the same day as our 25-week milestone!

ACORNSQUASHBABY doesn't really roll off the tongue, but that's what the sticker says, LOL. In just a few more weeks, we're out of the second trimester and into the third. Things are starting to get REAL now, yo. :P I still get a lot of comments about how I don't look very pregnant yet - but I'm betting the third trimester's going to kick baby growth into a more obvious gear.

I've been feeling pretty good, overall. Lots of congestion, lots and lots of baby kicks - they're strong enough now that I can sit at work and watch my tummy bouncing <3 Still a little bit of nausea, but it's not bad. And sitting/lying down is awkward and uncomfortable, especially when I have a full stomach. I'm a little tired too, but energy levels are much better than they used to be. So overall, heading into the next few weeks doing pretty well. Our next appointment is on Monday, January 4th - I believe it's mostly a checkup and they do some sort of additional blood test, make sure baby is growing properly and all of that.

We had a really nice Christmas and I finally got to meet my tiny baby niece! Cricket (my little minpin) was fascinated. It's sure going to be interesting for her when our baby shows up, hehe~*

That's my dining room table all set up for Christmas. I am thinking next year, when we have a 8-9 month old, it may not look quite so polished so I better enjoy the memories while I can! Oh, and Kaitlin made the CUTEST Nutcracker-themed scratch-off card game - they looked a bit like lottery tickets - to reveal baby's gender to the family. There was only one "winning" card in the batch - everyone had to scratch off three gold seals to reveal little Nutcrackers (for a boy) and Sugar Plum Fairies (for a girl), and the person who got three matching symbols had the right answer. It was a ton of fun, and my mom was the one who got the winning card, so she got to announce the answer to the rest of the family. <3 I'm still not allowed to announce it on the blog or to friends yet, though, because Kaitlin wants to wait for our shower/gender reveal party that's probably going to be set for February. That feels like such a loooooong time to wait - I'm having an increasingly hard time keeping myself from slipping up as more and more people ask me how the pregnancy is going. :P

Anyway, today is the last day of 2015. And what a year it's been. The nightmare of miscarriage, returning to Greece twice, finally getting pregnant again, the misery of the first trimester, Kaitlin's dad passing away, drama at work, getting married in Vegas, and ending the year five months pregnant and anticipating what will likely be an even more chaotic 2016 :P

I realized this morning that I never did end up picking a OLW (One Little Word) for 2015. The miscarriage and subsequent attempts sapped my confidence quite a bit. Choosing an optimistic word felt presumptuous; choosing a determined word felt like more of a challenge than I had the strength for; and choosing a negative word felt like I'd be placing a curse on the rest of the year. But here we are, at the end of 2015, and I think now I can assign a Word to it - PERSEVERE.

Of all the words I can think of, that's the one that jumps out at me. It goes beyond "SURVIVE", which was all I could do those first few months. But it has a little more gravity than "SUCCEED" or "CELEBRATE," neither of which really capture the darker and more difficult things we've overcome this year. What I really need is a word that encapsulates the idea of "carrying on," of continuing to press forward and refusing to accept defeat even when hope is crushed. So PERSEVERE it is.

And for 2016? Right now I am thinking something along the lines of GROW, NURTURE, and/or EVOLVE. Something that captures the big changes that are going to be coming next year, and the idea of giving a fresh, strong, solid start to a new life - to our marriage, to this new little person we're adding to the world, and to my own life. I think there are probably a lot of applications to my work life, too - I have to take a 12-month break from my job, hope that things go smoothly in my absence, hope others don't use that time to sabotage what I've built here, and maybe even find a way to come back from it in a stronger, better, more valued position. Maternity leave is an opportunity, if I handle it right, to impress my bosses and staff and clients with how prepared I can be and how dedicated to the work I am - but has to be balanced with not making it *too* easy to absorb my absence, because it would be not-so-good if things ran so smoothly without me that it raised the question "What do we even need her for, anyway?"

I'm going to tackle those worries next week, though, and for now just think about getting through the rest of this year.

Now that Christmas and our wedding are checked off the to-do list, we've turned our attention to the next things needing attention: Kaitlin's name change (she changed it with social security and the DMV this week), getting her added to my medical insurance at work, getting her car and motorcycle sold and a more reliable (hopefully 4-door) car purchased, and getting nursery and other baby things squared away.

This week we found a gorgeous dresser and crib on Craigslist for only $100 - a third of what I was budgeting - and snapped it up. We are now the proud owners of this beautiful set of furniture:

We also picked up the jogging stroller/car seat combo we've been eyeing at Babies 'R Us:

And tomorrow we have an electrician coming to the house to run wiring and install a ceiling fan/light in both the nursery and the office, which is a project I have wanted to do for years. We've already started "photobashing" (digitally putting together a layout for the wall mural) and Kaitlin's doing the vectorizing to create the wall art; the "Small World" castle is pretty much done, and the "Europe" wall is next. This weekend I have to finish the photobashing(still have an "Islands" wall, an "Arctic" wall, and the "Asia/Africa/Americas" wall to plan out) in the hopes that Kaitlin will be able to vector it all during the week next week so we can start painting next weekend.

There are so many things we're going to need to get done, from remodeling the nursery closet to installing baby gates to planning the baby shower - not to mention that I really want to take some birthing classes, tour the hospital where baby will be born, and get maternity photos taken. It's a bit overwhelming, but at the same time I'm really looking forward to having so many exciting things to do.

Truthfully I'm a wee bit nervous, heading into New Year's, because of how horrible the New Year was for us last year. I know this baby and pregnancy are different - even if baby were to come early, at 26 weeks there'd still be a decent chance of survival. But I guess traumas get deep into our lizard brains sometimes and they're tough to shake. So taking a deep breath and trying to focus on all the stuff there is to look forward to, and not think too much about scary what-ifs.

It's going to be a good year. *fistpump*

22WK3D - I am an auntie!

I didn't get to blog on our 22-week milestone on Friday because it was a bit of a whirlwind of a day. We had our big anatomy ultrasound appointment - baby is measuring about 1 lb 3 oz so far, with all body parts and organs accounted for and growing like they should, and a nice strong little heartbeat - we even got to see the little face. <3 I'm waiting for Kaitlin to scan our ultrasound pics in so I can share them, but in the meantime, here's the 22-week baby bump pic:

 

So far I've gained about 10 pounds. The bump still only shows when I wear certain clothes - most of my shirts and jackets are too loose to make it very noticeable. I definitely notice when I'm sitting or trying to lie down, though. Feels like all my insides are being squished and it's hard to breathe. I've had a really hard time sleeping this past week, even with my usual 1/4 to 1/2 of an Ambien pill. I think that's also due to all the stuff we have going on - everything from work, to our Vegas elopement this week <3 and all the preparations, to Kaitlin's sister who's staying with us and the whole situation with Kaitlin's dad, to money issues and saving for another car and still trying to find time to post her car and motorcycle for sale, to the upcoming Christmas plans (I still haven't got our tree up), to the plans for the nursery that we really really need to get a move on but can't until after we get back from Vegas and Kaitlin's sister's gone home... and add to all of that - I became an Auntie on Friday! After 32 hours of labor (YIKES) my sister in law gave birth to little Hannah, who is just so adorable I can't stand it.

My brother is apparently completely smitten - my mom hasn't even gotten to hold the baby yet. :P I haven't been able to meet her yet, and might not get to until Christmas since we're out of town this weekend. But I'm really looking forward to it, she is so tiny and precious. And I'm kindasorta envious that he and my sister-in-law are on the other side of labor and delivery now (the part I'm least looking forward to) and have their little one to cuddle. I want my little one to cuddle!! (But not now, baby, you hear that? You still have like four more months of cooking to do, so don't be getting in a hurry...)

Anyway, it's been absolute insanity the past few weeks so I'm just trying to take things one step at a time. First, finish up preparations for Vegas, and get Kaitlin's sister to her last visits with her dad and then safely to the airport. Then, get to the airport ourselves (at 4 AM) the next morning, make sure we get to all of our scheduled events (but most importantly, the licensing bureau and the chapel) over the weekend, then get home and focus on Christmas prep and, if we're lucky, maybe a little nursery prep. And in the meantime, stay enough on top of things at work that they're not keeping me up at night.

I did call and make an appointment for next week with my doctor to have my Ambien refilled. I think that will also be a big help, because the other stressful thing is the fear that I'm going to run out of medication and be completely sleepless until the next appointment, which is truly miserable.

Just hanging in there, I guess. Pretty amazed that our little bean seems to be plugging away perfectly fine amidst all of mama's fluttering about. And grateful for that, too. Just keep doing your thing, little one, and ignore me for right now. In a month or two we'll have a lot more of this stuff under control. By the time you get here, we'll be ready. <3

BabyCenter's 22 week image!

21WK3D - Long time no blog

Life is slowly settling down after a whirlwind of drama - car problems, money problems, family health problems, elopement planning, a dear friend passing away :( and issues at work that have been hitting one after the other. Unfortunately that means I've missed quite a few milestone posts! But, we did manage to take a 21-week belly pic on Thanksgiving:

We're past the halfway mark now! So here's a summary of some of the main goings-on:

In terms of pregnancy symptoms I'm still tired and fatigued, with minor backache and increasing need to pee. When I'm not super tired, though, my energy levels are pretty good. I'm still experiencing a higher tendency toward anxiety than usual, though now that life-things are settling a bit it's getting better. Baby is kicking a little harder now, and I feel wiggling about 3 - 4 times a day - usually on my morning and afternoon commutes, around lunchtime, and just before bed. Sometimes baby wakes me up with wiggling in the middle of the night, too.

I had a four day weekend for the Thanksgiving holiday - we went to my mom's house on Thanksgiving, and got to see my still-pregnant SIL (at 38 weeks, she's getting very close to her due date!) and parents.

Unfortunately, Kaitlin's dad's health is not doing so well at all, and we're expecting that he may pass away in the next couple weeks. Her sister, Beth, flew in from Idaho to spend some time with him, and she's staying at our house. She arrived on Friday, and will be leaving next Wednesday - which is the day before the day that Kaitlin and I leave for Vegas to get hitched. So this coming weekend's going to be busy, with packing, and hopefully decorating the house for Christmas, and also having a house guest.

Kaitlin's birthday is on Thursday. We celebrate her birthday in the summer, because her actual birthday so often gets lost in holidays and the cold of winter, but we're still going to make her favorite cherry-chip cupcakes and go out to dinner.

Next ultrasound is Friday, at 22 weeks. It's the big one, the full anatomy scan, and if I heard our doc correctly they're actually going to do it in 3-D. Depending on how it goes we may or may not decide to have another 3-D scan done in a month or so at the private ultrasound place. Looking forward to seeing little baby's growth - here's hoping everything's doing what it's supposed to be doing at this stage!

We have pretty much everything figured out for the elopement now - finally got confirmation for our reservation from the little chapel. Kaitlin's mom is driving to Vegas because she wants to be there, so she'll be a witness and we'll all go out for dinner afterward. Now it's just a matter of making a complete packing list so we don't forget any of the elements we're planning to wear! Kaitlin's also getting her hair and makeup done just beforehand, and I'm excited to see how it's going to turn out. The wedding will be Friday the 11th, so our "new" anniversary date is moving from 12/31 to 12/11. Shouldn't be too hard to remember. :P Oh, and we picked out our 4-year anniversary gifts for each other (year 4 is aquamarine) and got them ordered on a great Black Friday deal, so that's something fun to look forward to.

I have most Christmas presents purchased, just a few more things that I need to square away (and then wait for loads of packages to arrive so I can wrap them.) Christmas will be next on the to-do list once we get back from Vegas.

And of course, somewhere in there we have to make some progress on the nursery. I ordered a ceiling fan/light but have to do a craigslist post to find an electrician to install the power box in the ceiling. We have the general layout of the mural decided, and Kaitlin's started on the digital artwork, but there's still a lot to do before it will be ready to project on the wall, outline, and paint. And I'm currently stalking Craigslist for the perfect nursery furniture set. But for now, Kaitlin's sister is staying on the spare bed in the nursery, so we won't really be doing much physical work until after we get back from Vegas.

As far as work goes, things blew up, then simmered, then blew up, then simmered again. Right now we're in a simmering phase, and in fact I am more caught up than I have been in months, so that's something to be grateful for. I just have to stay on my toes, and keep my staff on their toes, going into the new year. Oh, and start making real plans for maternity leave coverage, which is a whole other monster. I still need to sit down with HR and go over the options, get the FMLA packet, and so on.

So right now, just taking everything one day at a time until we get through the chaos. Thankfully baby's been charging through it all like a champ - no bleeding or spotting or cramping or anything scary, and plenty of reassuring wiggles. As long as we have that, we can get through all the rest. :)

NINETEEN WEEKS

Well, the last couple weeks have been so chaotic I actually missed posting on our 18-week milestone. But we did manage to take an 18-week belly picture: 

In a nutshell, there has been chaos at work, in which not only are annual performance evaluations due for all of my staff (which are lengthy, difficult writing projects requiring a lot of time and attention) but I also made a mistake that ended up getting me in some disciplinary hot water and I was worried for a time for the safety of my job. There has also been chaos at home, in which Kaitlin's car has broken down and will require $2000+ to fix, which is money she just doesn't have; so we had to borrow a car temporarily from my family while we figured out options to fix or sell. Sounds like we're going to sell it, and borrow a car from a friend for a few months while we save very hard in order to buy her another one. Of course it had to happen just before winter, when she cannot take her motorcycle to work safely, and she's facing a gap in pay during schools' Christmas breaks. 

On top of all that, I caught a cold. Not a major one, the primary lingering symptom is congestion, but I was still feeling pretty low and tired and overwhelmed for a while.

I've been really, really stressed as a result, and eating regular meals ends up falling by the wayside when I'm stressed, so of course there was additional worry that I was harming baby in addition to everything else. But, as of last night baby is still wiggling like crazy. And my appetite is slowly returning. I indulged last month in a lot - and I mean a LOT - of eating out. Way more than I should have, mostly because it was so hard to think of anything that was appetizing to eat, and especially at work - by the time I would prepare food I was grossed out by it and didn't want to eat it, whereas if I went someplace and had food plopped in front of me I could usually eat at least half of it. Anyway, the amount I ended up spending on eating out was pretty shameful, so I'm glad that this month I'm able to eat more regular groceries. 

I still haven't gained much weight, and for coming up on halfway through the pregnancy, I'm not really showing much either. Going to enjoy it while I can, since it sounds like the second half of pregnancy is when the bump really starts getting impressive. :P

Sleeping has been a challenge too, though I think it's more stress- related than anything else. There are some pregnancy-related difficulties; lying on my back is less comfortable and my hips get sore after too much side-sleeping. And, of course, most nights I have to get up at least once to pee. 

Anyway, all of that aside, I'm really really grateful that at least with everything else that's not going right the baby and pregnancy seem to be doing pretty much fine. We'll have our next appointment on December 4th, around the 22-week mark, for the "big" anatomy scan.

In the meantime, the 19 week BabyCenter pic:

15WK6D - Sixteen Week Checkup

Another crazy work week - really can't wait until performance review time is over, this month is insane. Anyway, on the baby-making front here's the latest news:

I made contact this week with a new OBGYN office that is covered under my work's new insurance plan. Got signed up for my first appointment with them, on 11/4.

Had my 16-week (and final) appointment with my current OBGYN this morning. They gave me copies of all my medical records to take with me to the new doctor's office. The new doctor is actually in the same building as my current doctor, just a few suites down the hall, on the same floor - so at least it's really nice that the location will pretty much be the same even if it's new and different people. Today we didn't have an ultrasound, I just answered a bunch of questions about how I'm feeling and we listened to baby's heartbeat on the doppler - doctor says baby's heart sounds good. Baby also kicked the doppler a bunch of times, which was pretty funny. They drew blood for the spina bifida test, too. I've gained 7 pounds so far, which the doctor says is pretty good.

Other than the fact that I'm getting really tired of chips and salsa - which is about the only thing baby will let me eat easily - I'm feeling okay. The Diclegis still makes waking up in the morning really hard, but it's better than feeling sick all day. I still run out of energy a lot faster than I used to, but I have more good days now where I can at least do the dishes or other small chores before I'm out of steam.

In other news, I am sad that the wonderful warmth of summer really seems to be gone for the forseeable future. It's done nothing but rain and be cold and dreary for the last two days. I am grateful that it's still just rain and not snow - dreading the snow. But it seems we've settled back into my least favorite part of the year, where it's dark when I have to get out of bed, and cold in the house most of the time, and we have to put electric blankets on and I have to wear a coat to work in the morning and my hands and feet are pretty much in a perpetual state of freezing. This is usually the time of year when I tuck away and hibernate, waiting for the warmth to come back. I guess I'm grateful, though, that I'll be pregnant through most of it. Gives me something to look forward to, and I love the fact that our first few months with baby will be during the wonderful warm months of spring and summer when we can take baby out and about and enjoy the world. <3

This weekend will (hopefully) be the last weekend of working on the SCA sewing project. I have huge skirts to pattern, cut, assemble, and attach to the gown bodice, and a heavily boned front plastron to make. Then the gown gets passed to the lovely ladies doing the hems and eyelets, and the following weekend (Halloween!) we can start work on the nursery in earnest. Step one is to clear out all the stuff that's currently being stored in the room - there's a full-size bed we need to give away, and a ton of Kaitlin's art stuff that will have to get moved to the basement. Step two is to hire an electrician to come wire up an overhead box so we can install a ceiling fan/light fixture (and while they're at it we'll have them do the same in the adjacent room, our office).

Then we can start painting. That's the part I'm most looking forward to. The idea is to do scenes from Disney's "It's a Small World" ride, all around the room - there will be a "Europe" wall, and some short "North America" walls, and then a Polynesia / Asia / Africa wall, and then a shorter Central/South America wall. With the big clock-tower-castle on the wall above the crib, in a purple / teal / pink / blue / some golds & whites color scheme.

Once we find the right nursery furniture on Craigslist we'll be able to furnish it, too. I'll have some small sewing projects, like curtains and little around-the-world plushies for a mobile and possibly a hot-air-balloon light fixture, maybe. Also thinking about running some Christmas lights along the ceiling over the crib, and stapling some filmy fabric over them to create a sparkly nightlight/sky/stars effect... we'll see. Kaitlin wants to make a 3D version of the clock face that actually rocks back and forth like the one on the real Disney castle - another thing that would be fun, though we'll see how far we get with it, LOL.

Anyway, super excited as we haven't done a home-improvement room-remodel in a long time. Here's hoping baby will love their room as much as we do :)

14WK4D - Belly Pic and Ultrasound Updates

So first off, here's our 14 week belly pic. LOOKIT GUYS, I REALLY HAVE A BUMP NOW!

I can still mostly keep the bump covered under baggy clothes at work - but dang. Huge difference between 12 and 14 weeks!

So we went on Saturday to have a gender ultrasound done, and it confirmed that yup! The Harmony test results are right on target. ^^ We also got to see baby wiggling around some more and showing off. We got a good long video and ultrasound pics, but I'm not allowed to share 'em yet - sigh.

So let's see. This week the morning sickness continues to wane, though I do have occasional waves of the sickies in the evening before bed. I'm still taking the Diclegis - I have about three days' worth left. I think when I run out I'll try going a day without it, and if it comes back I'll get a refill. One really unpleasant new symptom, though, is a chronic headache that I've had for about four days now. I've been fighting it with Tylenol - the first Tylenol I've taken since we got our BFP - but only this afternoon has it really mellowed out. Not sure what that was all about but seriously not fun. :/

Baby is also a picky eater, still really only wants me to drink iced tea, and has a penchant for tortilla chips and salsa. I've also felt a lot more heaviness/stretching/twinging in there this week, which I am guessing means our little peachbaby is having a growth spurt. :P

In other news, work continues to be insanely busy, so much so that I barely have time to think during the day and I come home really tired - I feel like going to bed a lot earlier these days. And my pretty sparkly butterfly earrings from AliExpress arrived, so I'm adding them to the stash of stuff-to-wear-on-our-elopement in December. Good thing I bought a maternity wedding dress, I'm thinking this bump will be impressive by then! Sewing project is on track, I still have three solid weekends of work to do, but so far so good. And other than that, the thing eating up my brain lately is nursery prep. Really really want to get started but have to get the sewing stuff wrapped up first! I also have a few sewing projects in mind for our little munchkin, now that we know gender, and I'm plotting a supercute coming home outfit for baby to come home from the hospital in. I might have to make both a newborn-size version and a 0-3 months size version, just to be sure I have at least one that fits! Apparently some babies are too big for newborn sizes right out of the gate. Kind of hoping this one will be little enough, at least for a couple weeks, 'cause I've already started a bit of a stash of newborn-size clothes. *shiftyeyes*

Also made a long checklist (after surfing the internet for recommended checklists) of stuff we need to acquire before baby gets here. Stroller, car seat, nursery furniture, breast pump, cloth diaper stash, etc. etc.  Hoping to get 95% of the items used, with the possible exception of the car seat, because after wandering through Babies R Us and having some eyepopping moments at how expensive these little things (that last what, three or four years, most of them? At most??) are, it just makes a lot more sense to go green and reuse things that somebody else no longer needs.

So that's about it for now... off to eat dinner. Hoping baby likes Hamburger Helper. :P

FOURTEEN WEEKS

Well, if we weren't in the second trimester last week we definitely are now. :P My morning sickness was well behaved yesterday - didn't show up until almost 9 PM! Unfortunately today it returned at around noon (boo) but I'm hoping that means it's really going to back off soon.

Turns out, we got the call from the OBGYN yesterday afternoon with the Harmony test results - super happy to hear that all baby's chromosomes came back completely normal. No signs of trisomies of any sort, which is excellent. We also got to find out baby's gender, which I'm not allowed to share for a while. :P

It's interesting, how finally knowing the gender has had a much more profound impact than I had imagined. Because this is our only child, I knew that there would be a sense of loss no matter which gender our kiddo turns out to be - because I will only ever be the mom of a __________, and will never be the mom of the opposite gender. So having the field narrowed down to one automatically means that everything I would have looked forward to about the other gender is no longer really on the table. One of the names we chose is no longer relevant. One section of the toy aisle is probably a lot less likely to be as popular with our little one, same with one section of the kids' clothing aisles. (Though you can bet that we're going to encourage kiddo to play with and wear what appeals to them, boy/girl labels be damned.)

There's a long list of things that are awesome and somewhat unique to parenting a child of each gender, and one half of that list gets crossed off (mostly) once the gender's known. No matter what a lot of politically-correct folks out there like to say about nature vs. nurture, I worked in a daycare center for seven years and can tell you there is a distinct difference (generally) in the way little boys and little girls play, interact, and respond. There is also a distinct and noticeable difference (most of the time) in parents of all-one-gender children. Moms and dads of all girls have a unique presence, a different sort of aura to them. And the same can be said of moms and dads of all boys. In my experience, parents of all boys tend to be louder, more direct, more physical. Parents of all girls tend to be gentler, more subtle, and place higher emphasis on aesthetics. We plan on incorporating a healthy dose of all of the above with our kiddo regardless of gender - but I can't help wondering if/how kiddo's going to end up changing and affecting both of us.

What I hadn't anticipated, I guess, was how finding out my child's gender would suddenly impact my perspective on who I was myself, and who I am going to become. I'm going to be the mom of a _________. Forever and ever, for the rest of my life (unless, of course, I'm lucky enough to have a kiddo who is unlucky enough to receive the wrong body at birth. While that's not something I would wish on anybody, especially not my child, I'm totally ready to roll with it if that's what the universe has in store!)

In spite of my sleeping meds I got stuck in a rut of insomnia last night, because my brain wouldn't rest, thinking about it. It's not that I'm not super excited to be having a _________ - I AM!!! I can't wait, and I'm already in love with this little one. I just know this is the kiddo I was always meant to have (I actually suspected, since I was a teenager, that this is the gender kiddo I'd end up with) and I know we're going to have an amazing relationship. There are one heck of a lot of things I'm really looking forward to about being the mom of a ________, that I would have missed out on if kiddo was the other gender. 

But I guess my brain still needs a few days to really process that this is the direction my life, Kaitlin's life, and our little one's life is going to go. It's really nice, after years of uncertainty, to finally see the picture of the future getting a little clearer. But zeroing in on that future does mean closing the doors on other possible futures at the same time, if that makes sense. 

So yeah.

The other thing that I think both Kaitlin and I are experiencing is a sense of HOLY CRAP THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING. Our baby now has a name. (In fact, we just settled on the middle name today.) I can now go shopping for non-unisex baby clothes - my AliExpress wish list is already overflowing with adorableness. We can now picture our kiddo a little more clearly when we think about traveling, and sending them off to school, and taking family photos, and going to the museum and aquarium and theme parks and family holidays. And even though we'd be doing all those things with our kiddo regardless of gender, we now know we'll be doing them with a _______. And it somehow makes the whole thing a hundred times more REAL. 

Anyway, I'll talk more about baby naming in general in another post, because that topic is worth an entire blog all on its own. We have our for-fun ultrasound tomorrow, and we don't plan on telling the ultrasound tech that we already know gender - we want to see what they see on the screen first. ;) We'll take a belly pic when I get home tonight, too, so I'll have that up in a day or two.

In the meantime, here's the BabyCenter imagining of kiddo at 14 weeks:

THIRTEEN WEEKS

Thirteen weeks today. Some places online say this is the start of the second trimester, while others say that won't happen until next week. But whatever. I am ready for the first trimester to be done, and therefore I am dubbing today as the start of the second. :P

Today's another higher-energy morning, for which I am grateful. I've been able to juggle a couple of meetings that needed my full attention, so I'm feeling a lot better about today than the earlier parts of this week. It's noon and I'm only just starting to get a hint of stomach yuckies, so I'm hoping maybe tonight will go a bit easier. Took my last dose of meds, including my last injection, last night. Hallelujah!!! No more shots for meeee, no more shots for meeeeeeeee... now to wait for all these colorful bruises on my tummy to go away.

Baby has apparently decided that he/she hates potato chips, and will only drink iced tea. O.o Plain water is usually what I like, but baby is just not having it. It's iced tea or nothing. Still, now that I've finally figured that out, I've been able to get about three times more liquid down in the past couple days. So okay, little baby, iced tea it is. You sure are being weird. I can already tell you're going to be a handful. :P

Wearing my newly-acquired maternity jeans to work today. They are way more comfortable than regular jeans, but the seam between the denim and the soft belly band is going to take some getting used to. It's very low on my hips, so it kind of feels like my underwear is falling off, LOL. I still don't have a super noticeable bump yet, but I can definitely feel the difference in my clothes. 

In the meantime, I got a call back from the Sweethearts Wedding Chapel in Vegas yesterday afternoon, and was able to finalize reservations for our elopement ceremony. We had to do a lot of shuffling to find a date that would work - with an SCA event, Kaitlin's end-of-semester classes, Thanksgiving, Kaitlin's birthday, and Christmas all hitting so close together, and then a VERYIMPORTANTWORKMEETING that got scheduled for the one Friday we'd originally picked out (sigh) we finally had to go with December 11th. Which is okay, because we celebrate our anniversary in December anyway, so this is just moving it up a couple of weeks. It should be a relatively simple little ceremony, but we'll still get pictures and video and we're having Kaitlin's hair and makeup done and we bought cute new outfits and all in all it will be pretty darned fun. I got our plane tickets and hotel reserved too, so that's also crossed off the to-do list.

A little ironic, perhaps, that we'll be in Vegas getting married (with our little one finally on the way) almost exactly one year after our first trip to Greece. Last year on Christmas we were envisioning that we'd get to spend this Christmas with a new baby. Turns out we'll have a few more months to wait... but that's okay. At this point we're just so very grateful to have finally made it this far. <3

Here's BabyCenter's pic of baby at 13 weeks:

  

TWELVE WEEKS

We've made it to twelve weeks, ya'all!!!! Just a few more days to go until we hit the end of the first trimester. On one hand it feels like it went by quickly, probably because I was so sick I didn't have much time to really think about anything else. On the other hand, it's felt like the sickness would NEVER END, so I'm really hopeful that soon we'll be moving into a much more fun stage of pregnancy.

Today is a really busy day. For the first time in weeks, I'm feeling better - an okay balance between being tired and queasy, something that's pretty manageable. So the plan is to start doing a couple of five-minute walks during the work day, and slowly increase that until I'm getting in a good half hour of activity daily. I am so horribly out of shape now that I get winded just walking from my car to my office, and it doesn't feel very good. I'm looking forward to getting back to a more fit and oxygen-efficient state, hehe.

I am going to spend my lunch break getting a hair cut, because my hair has been growing a lot faster in the past few weeks and I'm starting to look a wee bit That-70's-Show-ish.

Tasks on the list today include finding and sending an initial inquiry to a maternity photographer (done); printing the legal documents Kaitlin and I are going to have signed this weekend (done); sending an initial inquiry to the Vegas wedding chapel about our elopement ceremony (done); calling my bank to make a notary appointment for tomorrow, and calling the 4D ultrasound place here in town to buy a scan package and make our gender-determination-scan appointment. By the time we go in for the scan we should already have the Harmony results back, but it will still be fun to confirm via an actual peek at the goods!

Also, while the doctor yesterday confirmed I've only gained one pound so far, I definitely am in need of some maternity basics - namely a more comfortable bra and a pair of jeans I don't have to wear unbuttoned. That's also on the list for this weekend, along with a trip to the bank to take care of my name change, sell back our unused Euro, get our documents notarized and get some checks for Kaitlin for her account, and I really have to sit down and get some progress accomplished on the SCA sewing project.

In case you can't tell, my energy level today is so, so, SO much better than it has been in weeks and weeks, and it's a great feeling. Hoping this is a sign that either the Diclegis has finally hit its stride and/or the morning sickness is on its way out.

I'll have an updated baby bump pic to post tomorrow, but for now here's what BabyCenter says baby looks like today. We actually got to see those little skinny legs stretching, and one of those little precious hands, at the ultrasound yesterday <3

11WK6D - Ultrasound appointment

So tomorrow we will hit twelve weeks (yay, I really can't WAIT for this first trimester to be over) and we went in this morning for an ultrasound. Here's a super flattering picture of me watching baby dance all over the screen:

The bruises on my tummy are fading some, as we're only doing the shots every other night now - only one more week to go, and then NO MORE INJECTIONS!!!! So very excited for THAT. :P

Anyway, baby is doing great. Measuring 12WK3D - about 5.9cm - little overachiever! And he/she has two legs and two arms and an a-okay nuchal thickness (no Down's indicators that the tech could see.) Oh, and we saw at least one hand with a perfect little thumb and four fingers. Baby was wiggling and squirming so much that the ultrasound tech had a bit of a time trying to get good measurements, but we got a bunch of pics to take home that I'll post probably tomorrow, and a couple of videos of the wiggling. Behold:

They also drew blood for a cystic fibrosis and Harmony test. Apparently if we get both tests, insurance is more likely to cover them at no charge (??) So we opted for both, and I thanked the doctor for the anti-morning-sickness meds. In spite of how uncomfortable I've been the past few weeks, life with the meds is still decidedly better than without them. 

Sadly, it's looking like we are going to have to change doctors. :( My work's open enrollment for health  benefits is coming up next month, and I have to switch to a different network (one that's free for me, a spouse, AND a child) because my current network will be way too expensive to cover both Kaitlin and the baby. The new network, though, is completely exclusive - I cannot go to ANY doctor who is not in-network - and my OB-GYN is not in the network. So now I guess I have to find a new provider, and our next appointment will likely be with whoever that is, at 16 weeks. Sigh. 

I'm going to wait until after we get our Harmony test results back from this doctor, and I have to make sure to ask her to mail the results to me so that I can give them to the new doc... and then I'll have to start the process of calling around for a new OB. She said we should get the results in about a week, though, so I'm pretty excited about that... in a week, we'll know whether baby is a boy or girl (even if I'm not allowed to tell anybody).

Anyway, really happy to see that baby is doing well and scooting around happily in there... makes all the misery and exhaustion of the past few weeks worth it. One more week to go, and we'll be in the clear to tell friends & family about the coming addition to our little family!

Things are going to really start getting nutty in the next couple of months, with elopement preparations and baby preparations kicking into gear. Really hoping the morning sickness will go away soon so that I've got the energy to tackle it all :)

11WK3D - Diclegis

Well, today is my fourth day on Diclegis. The exhaustion, especially over the weekend, has been pretty crippling. I literally laid in bed or on the couch the entire weekend. I had to come back to work today, and *knock on wood* seem to have a bit more energy in comparison to this weekend, but that's not saying a whole lot.

I am starting to feel like I'm being pretty whiny and negative, which is not at all what I had envisioned or wanted for pregnancy. It's not like pregnancy sucks in every way, either - I sort of enjoy the changes in my body, the little pangs and stretches in my belly, and my hair and nails have never looked so good. :P But the sick-and-tired part of pregnancy is so pervasive that it's difficult to brush aside in favor of the more positive things. Literally every day I'm googling "when will morning sickness end" and "when does pregnancy fatigue end". The answers tend to be not-terribly-comforting at this stage. I'm 11 1/2 weeks into this, and the internet says you start feeling better at around 14 - 16 weeks. That means at least two and a half more weeks before it gets better. Right now it's hard to imagine how I'm going to make it until 5 PM, let alone through the rest of this week, and next week, and the week after that at work.

So the first day I was on Diclegis the zombie-like tiredness was as bad as the nausea had been... and while the nausea was reduced, it still came back that afternoon/evening. The second day I had no nausea, just felt like I'd been running a marathon for two days, and I could barely get out of bed. Same thing on the third day. Today is day four, and the nausea is still at bay (thank heavens) and I seem to have a smidge more energy. Still would trade just about anything to be able to go back to bed. Except the one thing I'd have to trade, which would be a shorter maternity leave once baby actually arrives - I'm toughing it out right now because I want a FULL twelve week leave. I want every last hour of not-being-at-work that I can squeeze in with our new little one, and if I eat up my sick days now I won't have enough leave time to cover it.

Still, I am wondering if I might work some half days, take my computer home, and do some work from home between naps instead of trying to power through all of it here. I think I can probably get away with that about one day a week. Also planning on taking lunch breaks to nap in my office, even if the floor is hard and cold and uncomfortable.

Anyway, whine, whine, whine. I really wasn't expecting to be this down in the dumps when we've finally, FINALLY managed to get pregnant after all this time! I just have to keep reminding myself that as miserable as it physically feels right now, our dream of being moms is coming true at last... and keep hanging in there. <3

ELEVEN WEEKS

Honestly I lack enthusiasm for blogging today, I just didn't want to miss our weekly milestone post. I was so miserable Wednesday that I did leave work early... went home, got in bed, and proceeded to feel worse and worse until it was time to sleep. Called in sick yesterday and managed to sleep until 9:30, which helped a little but was still sick to the point where I felt like crying by last night.

I called my OB-GYN and told them I'd changed my mind, could I please have an anti-nausea prescription after all, because the B6 wasn't working. Waited around for most of the day until I got a call in the late afternoon that they'e prescribed me Diclegis, which is basically Unisom + B6. Not what I was hoping for, both because I didn't want to not be able to take my Ambien, and because the B6 I've been taking hasn't really done any good. Still, we went over to Walgreens to pick it up... and there was an issue with my doctor not filling out the form. Drove home to get my phone (I'd left it at home thinking it would be a quick trip to the drugstore), called the OBGYN, they said they'd already completed the form and sent it to the pharmacy. Went back to the pharmacy, where they then said it wasn't the doctor's form they needed, it was that my insurance was rejecting the prescription, so if I wanted the meds I'd have to pay over $600 for them. Called my insurance, they said it was the amount of pills - I was only allowed to have 30 days and the pharmacist was submitting it for 90. Waited in line at the pharmacy AGAIN, but they still couldn't get it to go through. Waited on hold with my insurance AGAIN, only to find out that their systems were down so they couldn't approve anything.

Went home. Waited an hour. Called the pharmacy, but they reported my insurance systems were still down. Waited another hour. Was just about to call again when I got an incoming call from the pharmacist - the prescription had gone through, but they only had 5 days' worth of pills in stock, so I'd need to pick those up and then come back on Monday to pick up the rest.

Went back to the pharmacy for the fourth time and finally got the meds (well, this time I asked Kaitlin to go, because I absolutely could not stomach another car ride.) Finally got the pills and took two of them the moment they were in my possession. Went to bed - and couldn't sleep. After lying there for about three hours, got up and took just 1/4 of an Ambien pill. Was able to go to sleep.

Got up this morning for work, and by then, finally, the Diclegis had kicked in. Nausea dialed back to mildly annoying instead of hellish, but now I'm also really groggy, because I have a sleeping medication in my system even though I have to be awake. Not entirely sure which is worse, but right now I guess I'll take the grogginess over the nausea.

So I am here, at work, after all of that insanity. Really grateful that it's Friday and I only have to make it through one day at work before I get a couple more days off to rest. Really, really hoping that this is the worst that it's going to get, and that I'll be able to get back to feeling normal soon. 

Just going to try and make it through the little things at work today - staff time sheets, little daily tasks - and hopefully nothing that requires much in the way of brain power. I am super envious right now of moms who don't have to work during their first trimester. SIGH. At the same time, I have read so many horror stories of women who have had morning sickness much, much worse than mine, so I feel a little guilty for feeling so sorry for myself. It could be worse. It could be a lot worse.

Anyway, our next ultrasound is in a week, so right now just trying to make it through day by day until the sickness passes. I can make it until 5 PM, right??

Here's what BabyCenter says baby looks like today:

9WK4D - Sick Sick Sick

Well, morning sickness continues to come and go, and fatigue is getting worse. On Saturday, I didn't have very much nausea but I was so tired I could barely move. I literally crawled downstairs after I woke up, sat on the couch all day (only getting up to grab food, water, and go to the bathroom) and crawled back upstairs at the end of the night feeling like I'd been running a marathon. Sunday and Monday were worse, because I was tired in the morning and got hit with nasty nausea in the afternoon that only got yuckier as the day went on. I did try to nap for a couple hours on Sunday, and got in a little bit of sewing in the morning on Monday, but overall it made for a long, exhausting, not-so-fun weekend. SIGH.

The pattern continues today, because I woke up this morning feeling like I haven't slept in a week (even though I slept like a brick all night) and sick to my stomach. Just went and had a hamburger and fries for lunch, because my body wanted something heavy and starchy and red-meaty, and my body cannot decide whether that has made it feel better or worse. :/ I think maybe better? A little??

Still no vomiting. Grateful for that. But it has now been three weeks of morning sickness and I am ready to be done now, kthx. :P Reduced my meds again on Saturday with no ill side effects this time... so far no spotting or scary stuff. Also grateful for that.

We did order our elopement dresses and some fun accessories this weekend - we're doing a subtle steampunk type thing, so Kaitlin gets a tiny white top hat and I get a bird cage veil, and cute shoes and gloves and so on. I do need to call the Vegas wedding chapel that we like and see if we can get on their schedule for November, I don't know how fast they fill up. And start planning the budget, because even as a "cheap" elopement it's still going to be a bit of an investment.

But that will be a project for another weekend. Right now I desperately want a nap. Unfortunately there are still three and a half hours left in the day before I can go home...

NINE WEEKS

So nine weeks today, and I have the goodies from yesterday's ultrasound to share. <3 Here's our little gummi bear baby...

Dark banana shape is the gestational sac, baby's head is to the left, body to the right... can you see the little leg buds? So cute!

And here are a couple videos, one has the sound of the heartbeat and the other one we tried to capture how much baby was wiggling around. There was a LOT of wiggling, hee~*

As for symptoms, the nausea started in early today. It hasn't been awful, but still not fun. Is it strange, to feel a little comforted by feeling sick?  My brain now associates feeling sick with reassurance that baby must be doing okay. At least my energy levels have been good so far this morning, even with the ucky tummy, and I'm trying really hard to drink more water (which might be part of the reason I started feeling sick sooner.)

Another med reduction tomorrow. Week by week we're slowly weaning off all these pills, yay! I told Kaitlin last night that we should try the whole pendulum-swinging-over-the-belly-to-predict-gender thing tonight, LOL. I also kind of want to try that at-home Intelligender urine test, even though the reviews pretty much all say that it's just for fun and has a 50% chance of being right (imagine that, ha!) We're going to get to find out early anyway, but since this is going to be our only baby I kind of want to do it ALL, all the fun things that it's possible to do during a pregnancy, so that we don't miss out on anything.

But Kaitlin says I'm not allowed to even post the results of those tests on the blog. No test results at all, no matter how silly or just-for-fun, until the gender-reveal party. SIGH. She's already plotting how she wants to do a baby-announcement graphic for facebook, though. She's so cute, LOL...

So this weekend she's spending Saturday at an SCA event, and we have to get through some chores and things on Sunday and Monday. I also have to get a big chunk of sewing done on the SCA project. I'm opting out of the event this weekend because I'm still supposed to be resting, all through the first trimester. And honestly, hanging out in the hot sun feeling sick and queasy for an entire weekend, not to mention trying to lace myself into garb styles that are pretty much all tight and not comfy (I have yet to make myself a Viking ensemble) just doesn't sound like fun at all. So going to stay home and work on the project instead, and probably spend the sickest hours of the day hanging on the couch with my dog and some K-drama. :)

Just have to get through this Friday at work first... luckily the day's half over already! Last but not least, here's what BabyCenter says baby looks like today:

8WK6D - Third Ultrasound

So very happy to report that we had our first OB/GYN ultrasound this morning and it went perfectly. I was pretty nervous this morning, after the spotting issues earlier this week and the fact that yesterday I had barely any nausea, and last night I didn't get up to use the bathroom even once, so naturally was starting to sweat just a teensy bit that we'd go in there and they wouldn't find a heartbeat.

But no, baby shrimp is still going strong - 23mm now, and heartbeat at 174 bpm - still measuring one day ahead. We got to hear the heartbeat for the first time, and that was amazing. Kaitlin took a video of the whump-whump-whumping, so once she sends it to me I'll post it here. Baby looks like a gummi bear now, and as soon as Kaitlin heard that she pulled up a Youtube of the Gummi Bears theme song and made me listen to it, LOL.

They weighed me and did a pap smear and a breast exam and drew blood. We talked to the doctor and I got the green light to color my hair, exercise, and take ambien when I need to. She suggested that I take some Vitamin B6 and/or Unisom for the nausea, though I think I'll probably skip the Unisom because it doesn't help me sleep and I won't mix it with Ambien. She was comfortingly sympathetic about my poor bruised tummy after all the heparin shots, but she didn't try to interfere with the Greek clinic's medication plan.

She also asked if we wanted to do the Harmony chromosomal screening test (the free-cell DNA blood test I was hoping for) and we said definitely yes. She believes my insurance will cover it because of my age, which is even better, and that means that we'll know the baby's sex by the end of the first trimester... really excited!!!! Though, Kaitlin made me promise not to tell anybody until we can do a combined baby shower/gender reveal party in Januaryish. Such a loooooong time to wait, LOL...

So we will have the nuchal translucency ultrasound done in three more weeks, on 9/24, along with the blood draw for the Harmony test. And then no more (doctor) ultrasounds until 20 weeks. But Kaitlin and I are probably going to go to the little 3D/4D ultrasound spa place in Denver at 16 weeks for a gender scan, and probably at least once more a little later into the pregnancy for another peek.

She looked at us a little funny when I asked her if she could recommend a lactation consultant with experience inducing lactation in non-gestational moms. I don't think she'd ever heard of induction before. She suggested we call the hospital, but I may do some googling instead, because I'd really like to find somebody experienced. I may also need to buy the breast pump really early... my insurance is supposed to cover the purchase of one, but I don't know how to go about that, exactly, so that's another thing I'll have to figure out in the next few weeks.

Anyway, they gave us this little gift bag of goodies, including some prenatal vitamin samples and a water bottle with their office logo on it... and overall the whole experience was just a hundred million times better than our first traumatic visit to their office during the miscarriage, so we both left beaming. <3 I don't think our next appointment will be nearly as scary, though I'll admit I'll breathe a lot easier once we're past the first trimester.

I'm also grateful to have had a good day yesterday in terms of nausea, and it's been relatively mild today too... I'll take it! Going to try and take the opportunity to drink as much water as I can, because it's so hard to deal with water in my stomach on the not-so-good days, and the doc emphasized strongly that drinking 8 - 10 glasses a day was vital to a healthy pregnancy. She said in later trimesters dehydration can even result in early contractions... eck. So water it is, whether it makes me feel sick or not. Gotta keep our little shrimp growing!

She also recommends that I gain between 25-35 pounds, though she said most of her patients tend to gain a little more than that, but she thinks that's all that's really necessary. I was glad to hear that, because my plan is basically just to eat healthy, and eat when I'm hungry, and eat things I am craving, but not use pregnancy as a license to pig out irresponsibly. I just don't think that would be good for either baby or me... and I certainly don't want to have any more of an uphill battle, after birth, than is really necessary to get back into shape.

Let's see, what else... she said my cervix length is 4.2 (inches? I think?) and that it looked good, when it gets down under 2 they get concerned and will usually put a stitch in, but they don't think I'll need it.

And that was really it for the first appointment. Lots of information, but the most important part is that baby is still going strong and we are still on the path to becoming mommies. <3 Life is really, really good.