12WK6D - First Trimester Down, Two To Go

Well, this post's title is a wee bit premature, since technically the second trimester doesn't start until tomorrow when we hit 13 weeks. However, since today is the last day of the first trimester, it's a big milestone day for us - the day when we share the news with friends and family. <3

Sickness has been a little worse the last few days. The Diclegis still gets me through the first few hours of the morning, but I'm lucky if I make it til noon without starting to feel crummy, and last night it got really bad the hour or so before I went to bed. Today it started in at about 10 AM, which means tonight's probably not going to be much fun either. :/ Ah well. At least tonight is our VERY LAST HEPARIN SHOT. Not looking forward to it, but very much looking forward to not having to do it anymore from tonight on! Same thing for the meds - I'm finally down to one estrogen and one 100mg progesterone pill a day, and tonight is the last dose. Starting tomorrow it's just prenatals (and diclegis), and I'm pretty happy about that. It feels a little like we've at last graduated from delicate-medically-assisted-pregnancy to a self-sustaining, "normal" one.

In the meantime, Kaitlin scanned in our ultrasound from last week. Here's our little 12-week-gestation munchkin:

You can see the skull and jaw to the left, and the shadows of wiggly hands above the belly and one wiggly leg and foot. Also the little spine. Still waiting on the Harmony test results, kind of hoping they will come in today or tomorrow. I think if I haven't got the call by tomorrow I'll call them to check.

In the meantime, still a lot of things on my plate that need to be done, both at work and at home, but I'm feeling low-energy and seasick today. What I really want to do is go home for a half a day and sleep some more. :P Guess we'll see how the day plays out... the month of October's going to be crazy busy (performance eval time at work, and OMGSEWING every weekend) so I really hope the morning sickness finishes up shortly.

Welcome to October, little baby. Next year I promise you the coolest Halloween costume on the block. >D It will probably match the dog's.

12WK3D - Bump pics & the weekend

Still don't have our 12-week ultrasound pics scanned in *pokes Kaitlin* but here's the updated bump pics. PLUMBABY! Pardon the sleepy eyes, wasn't feeling so great when we took the pics :P

It's kind of hard to tell if there's much growth going on yet, even though the belly sticker insists we've got a plum in there (and ultrasound said baby is now nearly 6 cm long!) In fact, at the doctor appointment I'd only gained one pound since our last visit. Not that I'm complaining, mind you!

So I had a pretty good day on Saturday, more energy than usual in the morning, and Kaitlin and I were able to get some errands and things done. The plan was to work on my sewing project on Sunday, but unfortunately that didn't happen - Sunday was another of those days when I could barely get out of bed. I didn't get up, in fact, until around 2 in the afternoon, and even then it was only to stumble downstairs to eat some cereal and lie like a lump on the couch. X.x

Unfortunately, this morning also started off low-energy AND with some nausea, in spite of the fact that I've been taking my Diclegis nightly. I really hope this doesn't mean that the meds aren't working anymore. I don't know if the nausea is just getting that much worse this week or what, but I'm expecting tonight will be pretty miserable if I'm already feeling gross this morning. Ugh.

Getting up to pee at least twice every night now, which wreaks a lot of havoc with my sleep patterns - this morning I got up around 3:30 AM and never did get to go all the way back to sleep. I'm nervous about what this is going to mean when we actually have our little one in the house, needing a feeding every two hours. I may literally not get to have all-the-way sleep for months and months, unless Kaitlin can trade off the breastfeeding with me like she's hoping - it would be a serious godsend to have a spare pair of boobs around, LOL - might actually allow me to get some real sleep every now and then. I guess we just have to wait and see.

Anyway, got an email back from the lovely lady at Denver Maternity Photography, who said we could do a photoshoot sometime in February. I absolutely fell in love with her style from all the gorgeous photos on her website and am really looking forward to working with her... hopefully she can make Kaitlin and I look as glamorous and pretty as the other clients she's worked with!

TWELVE WEEKS

We've made it to twelve weeks, ya'all!!!! Just a few more days to go until we hit the end of the first trimester. On one hand it feels like it went by quickly, probably because I was so sick I didn't have much time to really think about anything else. On the other hand, it's felt like the sickness would NEVER END, so I'm really hopeful that soon we'll be moving into a much more fun stage of pregnancy.

Today is a really busy day. For the first time in weeks, I'm feeling better - an okay balance between being tired and queasy, something that's pretty manageable. So the plan is to start doing a couple of five-minute walks during the work day, and slowly increase that until I'm getting in a good half hour of activity daily. I am so horribly out of shape now that I get winded just walking from my car to my office, and it doesn't feel very good. I'm looking forward to getting back to a more fit and oxygen-efficient state, hehe.

I am going to spend my lunch break getting a hair cut, because my hair has been growing a lot faster in the past few weeks and I'm starting to look a wee bit That-70's-Show-ish.

Tasks on the list today include finding and sending an initial inquiry to a maternity photographer (done); printing the legal documents Kaitlin and I are going to have signed this weekend (done); sending an initial inquiry to the Vegas wedding chapel about our elopement ceremony (done); calling my bank to make a notary appointment for tomorrow, and calling the 4D ultrasound place here in town to buy a scan package and make our gender-determination-scan appointment. By the time we go in for the scan we should already have the Harmony results back, but it will still be fun to confirm via an actual peek at the goods!

Also, while the doctor yesterday confirmed I've only gained one pound so far, I definitely am in need of some maternity basics - namely a more comfortable bra and a pair of jeans I don't have to wear unbuttoned. That's also on the list for this weekend, along with a trip to the bank to take care of my name change, sell back our unused Euro, get our documents notarized and get some checks for Kaitlin for her account, and I really have to sit down and get some progress accomplished on the SCA sewing project.

In case you can't tell, my energy level today is so, so, SO much better than it has been in weeks and weeks, and it's a great feeling. Hoping this is a sign that either the Diclegis has finally hit its stride and/or the morning sickness is on its way out.

I'll have an updated baby bump pic to post tomorrow, but for now here's what BabyCenter says baby looks like today. We actually got to see those little skinny legs stretching, and one of those little precious hands, at the ultrasound yesterday <3

11WK6D - Ultrasound appointment

So tomorrow we will hit twelve weeks (yay, I really can't WAIT for this first trimester to be over) and we went in this morning for an ultrasound. Here's a super flattering picture of me watching baby dance all over the screen:

The bruises on my tummy are fading some, as we're only doing the shots every other night now - only one more week to go, and then NO MORE INJECTIONS!!!! So very excited for THAT. :P

Anyway, baby is doing great. Measuring 12WK3D - about 5.9cm - little overachiever! And he/she has two legs and two arms and an a-okay nuchal thickness (no Down's indicators that the tech could see.) Oh, and we saw at least one hand with a perfect little thumb and four fingers. Baby was wiggling and squirming so much that the ultrasound tech had a bit of a time trying to get good measurements, but we got a bunch of pics to take home that I'll post probably tomorrow, and a couple of videos of the wiggling. Behold:

They also drew blood for a cystic fibrosis and Harmony test. Apparently if we get both tests, insurance is more likely to cover them at no charge (??) So we opted for both, and I thanked the doctor for the anti-morning-sickness meds. In spite of how uncomfortable I've been the past few weeks, life with the meds is still decidedly better than without them. 

Sadly, it's looking like we are going to have to change doctors. :( My work's open enrollment for health  benefits is coming up next month, and I have to switch to a different network (one that's free for me, a spouse, AND a child) because my current network will be way too expensive to cover both Kaitlin and the baby. The new network, though, is completely exclusive - I cannot go to ANY doctor who is not in-network - and my OB-GYN is not in the network. So now I guess I have to find a new provider, and our next appointment will likely be with whoever that is, at 16 weeks. Sigh. 

I'm going to wait until after we get our Harmony test results back from this doctor, and I have to make sure to ask her to mail the results to me so that I can give them to the new doc... and then I'll have to start the process of calling around for a new OB. She said we should get the results in about a week, though, so I'm pretty excited about that... in a week, we'll know whether baby is a boy or girl (even if I'm not allowed to tell anybody).

Anyway, really happy to see that baby is doing well and scooting around happily in there... makes all the misery and exhaustion of the past few weeks worth it. One more week to go, and we'll be in the clear to tell friends & family about the coming addition to our little family!

Things are going to really start getting nutty in the next couple of months, with elopement preparations and baby preparations kicking into gear. Really hoping the morning sickness will go away soon so that I've got the energy to tackle it all :)

11WK3D - Diclegis

Well, today is my fourth day on Diclegis. The exhaustion, especially over the weekend, has been pretty crippling. I literally laid in bed or on the couch the entire weekend. I had to come back to work today, and *knock on wood* seem to have a bit more energy in comparison to this weekend, but that's not saying a whole lot.

I am starting to feel like I'm being pretty whiny and negative, which is not at all what I had envisioned or wanted for pregnancy. It's not like pregnancy sucks in every way, either - I sort of enjoy the changes in my body, the little pangs and stretches in my belly, and my hair and nails have never looked so good. :P But the sick-and-tired part of pregnancy is so pervasive that it's difficult to brush aside in favor of the more positive things. Literally every day I'm googling "when will morning sickness end" and "when does pregnancy fatigue end". The answers tend to be not-terribly-comforting at this stage. I'm 11 1/2 weeks into this, and the internet says you start feeling better at around 14 - 16 weeks. That means at least two and a half more weeks before it gets better. Right now it's hard to imagine how I'm going to make it until 5 PM, let alone through the rest of this week, and next week, and the week after that at work.

So the first day I was on Diclegis the zombie-like tiredness was as bad as the nausea had been... and while the nausea was reduced, it still came back that afternoon/evening. The second day I had no nausea, just felt like I'd been running a marathon for two days, and I could barely get out of bed. Same thing on the third day. Today is day four, and the nausea is still at bay (thank heavens) and I seem to have a smidge more energy. Still would trade just about anything to be able to go back to bed. Except the one thing I'd have to trade, which would be a shorter maternity leave once baby actually arrives - I'm toughing it out right now because I want a FULL twelve week leave. I want every last hour of not-being-at-work that I can squeeze in with our new little one, and if I eat up my sick days now I won't have enough leave time to cover it.

Still, I am wondering if I might work some half days, take my computer home, and do some work from home between naps instead of trying to power through all of it here. I think I can probably get away with that about one day a week. Also planning on taking lunch breaks to nap in my office, even if the floor is hard and cold and uncomfortable.

Anyway, whine, whine, whine. I really wasn't expecting to be this down in the dumps when we've finally, FINALLY managed to get pregnant after all this time! I just have to keep reminding myself that as miserable as it physically feels right now, our dream of being moms is coming true at last... and keep hanging in there. <3

ELEVEN WEEKS

Honestly I lack enthusiasm for blogging today, I just didn't want to miss our weekly milestone post. I was so miserable Wednesday that I did leave work early... went home, got in bed, and proceeded to feel worse and worse until it was time to sleep. Called in sick yesterday and managed to sleep until 9:30, which helped a little but was still sick to the point where I felt like crying by last night.

I called my OB-GYN and told them I'd changed my mind, could I please have an anti-nausea prescription after all, because the B6 wasn't working. Waited around for most of the day until I got a call in the late afternoon that they'e prescribed me Diclegis, which is basically Unisom + B6. Not what I was hoping for, both because I didn't want to not be able to take my Ambien, and because the B6 I've been taking hasn't really done any good. Still, we went over to Walgreens to pick it up... and there was an issue with my doctor not filling out the form. Drove home to get my phone (I'd left it at home thinking it would be a quick trip to the drugstore), called the OBGYN, they said they'd already completed the form and sent it to the pharmacy. Went back to the pharmacy, where they then said it wasn't the doctor's form they needed, it was that my insurance was rejecting the prescription, so if I wanted the meds I'd have to pay over $600 for them. Called my insurance, they said it was the amount of pills - I was only allowed to have 30 days and the pharmacist was submitting it for 90. Waited in line at the pharmacy AGAIN, but they still couldn't get it to go through. Waited on hold with my insurance AGAIN, only to find out that their systems were down so they couldn't approve anything.

Went home. Waited an hour. Called the pharmacy, but they reported my insurance systems were still down. Waited another hour. Was just about to call again when I got an incoming call from the pharmacist - the prescription had gone through, but they only had 5 days' worth of pills in stock, so I'd need to pick those up and then come back on Monday to pick up the rest.

Went back to the pharmacy for the fourth time and finally got the meds (well, this time I asked Kaitlin to go, because I absolutely could not stomach another car ride.) Finally got the pills and took two of them the moment they were in my possession. Went to bed - and couldn't sleep. After lying there for about three hours, got up and took just 1/4 of an Ambien pill. Was able to go to sleep.

Got up this morning for work, and by then, finally, the Diclegis had kicked in. Nausea dialed back to mildly annoying instead of hellish, but now I'm also really groggy, because I have a sleeping medication in my system even though I have to be awake. Not entirely sure which is worse, but right now I guess I'll take the grogginess over the nausea.

So I am here, at work, after all of that insanity. Really grateful that it's Friday and I only have to make it through one day at work before I get a couple more days off to rest. Really, really hoping that this is the worst that it's going to get, and that I'll be able to get back to feeling normal soon. 

Just going to try and make it through the little things at work today - staff time sheets, little daily tasks - and hopefully nothing that requires much in the way of brain power. I am super envious right now of moms who don't have to work during their first trimester. SIGH. At the same time, I have read so many horror stories of women who have had morning sickness much, much worse than mine, so I feel a little guilty for feeling so sorry for myself. It could be worse. It could be a lot worse.

Anyway, our next ultrasound is in a week, so right now just trying to make it through day by day until the sickness passes. I can make it until 5 PM, right??

Here's what BabyCenter says baby looks like today:

10WK5D - Sicker and Sicker

I am hoping that the morning sickness is peaking for me this week, because it's the most intense, consistent and intrusive it's been thus far, and at this moment I can't imagine how awful life will be if it gets much worse.

Still no vomiting. Just a raw, acidy feeling in my stomach, that starts out being just annoying and icky in the morning, but by nighttime is pretty much hell. For the last couple days I haven't even had a few minutes of break from it... instead it's just always there, making me feel crappy, and I have to figure out how to smile and chat with my staff and my boss and my clients as if I'm not desperately wishing I could either puke on their shoes or curl up in a ball at their feet and nap.

Sigh.

Liquids are still the hardest, that awful seasick feeling after just a few sips. Yet water tastes so good... I WANT it, I know my body wants it, but as soon as it's in my stomach it magnifies the queasies by a hundred.

I'm actually feeling so awful today that I'm seriously considering going home. Just trying to decide if I should take my lunch hour to nap on the floor in my office, and then leave at 3 (I worked enough flex time on Monday and Tuesday to cover it) or just go home at noon and use a half day of sick time. Trying to save up my sick time for maternity leave. And I feel a little silly for leaving work sick when I know I'm not going to feel any better tomorrow, and it's not like I'm contagious or throwing up or anything. It's not exactly something I can just sleep off, either.

I think the nap / leaving at 3 plan is the wiser way to go, if I can make it that far. I slept like a rock last night and still woke up exhausted; also I'm having a lot of vivid adventurous dreams (there was a big black werewolf!) and wondering if that is contributing somewhat to how tired I feel when I wake up. I know if I go home I'm just going to go to bed and sleep, which is probably good for me, but I also have to make it through the hour-long commute to get home. Yesterday the drive home was particularly bad - stop and go traffic in rush hour for almost an hour and a half, and by the time I got home it felt basically like the worst hangover I've ever had.

Ugh.

The internet seems to agree that weeks 9-10 is the average "peak" time for morning sickness, so right now I'm just really hoping that I'm getting through the worst of it and things will start easing up next week.

Anyway, so far here are the things that HAVE helped (sort of):

ginger ale
saltines - though now I have to eat them with cheese on top, because the saltine flavor by itself makes me nauseous
jolly rancher candies - no idea why these are effective, but they seem to distract my mouth/stomach from feeling gross
hummus and pretzels
pickles, and pickle juice
tortilla soup
Adding extra salt to my food
the smell of our laundry fabric softener (it smells AMAZING. Like, AMAZING. I want it under my nose ALL THE TIME.)
SLEEP. Sleep, more than anything.

And these things do NOT help:

eating before I get out of bed - this makes it worse; I can stave off the worsening of the nausea longer if I wait until 9-10AM to eat anything
ginger chews/candy - makes it a LOT worse
anything mint or peppermint - UGH
drinking more than a few sips of water at a time
drinking anything other than water, except ginger ale which is sometimes ok
flavoring water with anything
Vitamin b6 - I'm still taking it daily in the hopes it will do something, but it doesn't really feel like it has any effect
exercise, even just two minutes of slow walking, makes it worse
potato chips (I can't stand the thought of them - and they're usually one of my favorite vices)
cookies
yogurt - something about the texture I just can't handle
the nasty sugar aftertaste in my mouth after eating anything sweet or high in carbs - I basically have to wash most food/soda/candy/crackers down with pickles or a bit of salt licked right out of my palm, otherwise I feel like a kid with a stomachache from eating sweets...
salad dressings or other foods with high oil content
unexpected sweet flavors in savory foods (like a sweet sauce on a hamburger)
the smell of hairspray, other people's food, and the lingering smell of our dinner after I've eaten it
lack of sleep

Now, I have always preferred salty foods to sweet ones, and I've always felt nauseous/queasy when I don't get enough sleep, so I can't really blame those entirely on morning sickness. But, it does seem like they're worse right now. I have to be careful with the ginger ale and jolly ranchers so that I don't over-sugar myself, but in moderation they help some of the symptoms.

Tell you what, this first trimester crap is not nearly as fun as they make it look on TV. :P You always see the pregnant lady throwing up (once) into a toilet, and go "AHA, that character's pregnant!" and then the storyline goes on with all the pregnancy drama and pretty much never shows our heroine turning green and taking naps and generally being miserable for the rest of the story arc. Pffft.

Just another reason to be looking forward to the second trimester, when (*knock on wood*) things are supposed to actually get more fun.

10WK3D - Bump Pic

Here's the bump pic we took over the weekend - yay!

I think my tummy looks a bit larger, though I still haven't had much weight gain.  Morning sickness still going strong... this weekend was tough, and I slept for 12-13 hours at a stretch, not waking up until almost noon both days. Thank god for weekends!! Saturday was spent doing a little sweeping and putting away some laundry. Sunday we got groceries and I did some more sewing on the SCA project. We also went to see Jurassic World, which was unfortunately not the relaxing experience we were hoping for... we went to a dine-in theater that's not-our-usual-theater, and didn't much care for their service or their food, and overall I think it turned out more of a stressful outing than a fun one. Sad. 

I've noticed that I seem to be a lot more anxious in the past week or so. No particular reason, I don't have that much more stress going on than usual, but I feel sort of on-edge and easily overwhelmed. It probably has something to do with being so tired and queasy, and when I think about all the things I need to accomplish in spite of how I feel, I worry I won't get it all done, or that I'll forget something important. Ironically, I also find that when I just buckle down and do the things in spite of not feeling well, I tend to be more distracted from the not-feeling-well and actually feel somewhat better as a result. Go figure. 

There was a bit of drama at work on Friday, too, that added somewhat to my anxiety -  a former staff person who I'd really liked and trusted was discovered to have misused one of our work accounts, and now there are procedures and processes to be reviewed and tightened. A more secure process is always a good thing, I just wish that people wouldn't be dishonest like that and do things they know darned well they aren't supposed to. (I know, I know, if wishes were horses...) 

Anyway, I don't feel at all ready for another work week. I need at least three more days of sleep. Sigh... But no such luck, so back at work I am. Here's hoping this week goes by a lot faster than the last one!

TEN WEEKS

We didn't get the chance to take our 10-week baby bump picture before work this morning because Kaitlin got called in for a very early workday, so we'll do that this afternoon when we both get home from work. According to the ticker and baby bump sticker, baby is the size of a prune or fig today. 

I haven't done a good job of blogging much this week, mostly because I've been feeling increasingly crappy. I'm waking up feeling more sick now, and gradually getting worse throughout the day, so most days are a struggle to keep focused at work so I can try to push the sick feeling to the back of my mind. I definitely have no energy and am already starting to experience "pregnancy brain" - making really stupid forgetful mistakes and generally having to work three times as hard to concentrate. Today was only a four-day work week, thanks to the holiday on Monday, and yet it felt like it would NEVER END. I'm really grateful that it's Friday and I can hopefully catch up on some rest over the weekend, though one way or another I have to fit in some sewing on the SCA project...

This persistent yuckiness is really keeping me from being able to focus on the more joyful parts of pregnancy, unfortunately. It's been almost four weeks of non-stop sickness, nearly 24 hours a day, and it's starting to feel like maybe I will never feel not-sick again. I know it's just temporary, but it sure does wear on a person. I am hoping so very much that it will go away after the first trimester. 

Had a dream last night that one of the managers at work "outed" my pregnancy to my staff, which was awkward. :P We still have to wait another two weeks for our next ultrasound, which is hard, since we've been spoiled by getting such frequent peeks in the early weeks. Usually I'm the one who's DYING for the next ultrasound date, but this time Kaitlin seems more anxious for it than even me, LOL. 

In the meantime, my clothes are definitely really tight, and I'm a lot more bloated than usual. I think I've gained maybe a pound or so, but no real significant change in weight... it's more like a change in body shape. I don't think it's going to be visible to anybody but me and Kaitlin at the moment, but I feel like my belly is a little firmer this week than last.

That's about it for the updates for now... just biding time, waiting to feel better. I'll post the belly pic later tonight, but in the meantime, here's  BabyCenter's projection of what baby looks like now. He/she really looks like a baby now (with a huge alien forehead, hehehe...)

9WK4D - Sick Sick Sick

Well, morning sickness continues to come and go, and fatigue is getting worse. On Saturday, I didn't have very much nausea but I was so tired I could barely move. I literally crawled downstairs after I woke up, sat on the couch all day (only getting up to grab food, water, and go to the bathroom) and crawled back upstairs at the end of the night feeling like I'd been running a marathon. Sunday and Monday were worse, because I was tired in the morning and got hit with nasty nausea in the afternoon that only got yuckier as the day went on. I did try to nap for a couple hours on Sunday, and got in a little bit of sewing in the morning on Monday, but overall it made for a long, exhausting, not-so-fun weekend. SIGH.

The pattern continues today, because I woke up this morning feeling like I haven't slept in a week (even though I slept like a brick all night) and sick to my stomach. Just went and had a hamburger and fries for lunch, because my body wanted something heavy and starchy and red-meaty, and my body cannot decide whether that has made it feel better or worse. :/ I think maybe better? A little??

Still no vomiting. Grateful for that. But it has now been three weeks of morning sickness and I am ready to be done now, kthx. :P Reduced my meds again on Saturday with no ill side effects this time... so far no spotting or scary stuff. Also grateful for that.

We did order our elopement dresses and some fun accessories this weekend - we're doing a subtle steampunk type thing, so Kaitlin gets a tiny white top hat and I get a bird cage veil, and cute shoes and gloves and so on. I do need to call the Vegas wedding chapel that we like and see if we can get on their schedule for November, I don't know how fast they fill up. And start planning the budget, because even as a "cheap" elopement it's still going to be a bit of an investment.

But that will be a project for another weekend. Right now I desperately want a nap. Unfortunately there are still three and a half hours left in the day before I can go home...

NINE WEEKS

So nine weeks today, and I have the goodies from yesterday's ultrasound to share. <3 Here's our little gummi bear baby...

Dark banana shape is the gestational sac, baby's head is to the left, body to the right... can you see the little leg buds? So cute!

And here are a couple videos, one has the sound of the heartbeat and the other one we tried to capture how much baby was wiggling around. There was a LOT of wiggling, hee~*

As for symptoms, the nausea started in early today. It hasn't been awful, but still not fun. Is it strange, to feel a little comforted by feeling sick?  My brain now associates feeling sick with reassurance that baby must be doing okay. At least my energy levels have been good so far this morning, even with the ucky tummy, and I'm trying really hard to drink more water (which might be part of the reason I started feeling sick sooner.)

Another med reduction tomorrow. Week by week we're slowly weaning off all these pills, yay! I told Kaitlin last night that we should try the whole pendulum-swinging-over-the-belly-to-predict-gender thing tonight, LOL. I also kind of want to try that at-home Intelligender urine test, even though the reviews pretty much all say that it's just for fun and has a 50% chance of being right (imagine that, ha!) We're going to get to find out early anyway, but since this is going to be our only baby I kind of want to do it ALL, all the fun things that it's possible to do during a pregnancy, so that we don't miss out on anything.

But Kaitlin says I'm not allowed to even post the results of those tests on the blog. No test results at all, no matter how silly or just-for-fun, until the gender-reveal party. SIGH. She's already plotting how she wants to do a baby-announcement graphic for facebook, though. She's so cute, LOL...

So this weekend she's spending Saturday at an SCA event, and we have to get through some chores and things on Sunday and Monday. I also have to get a big chunk of sewing done on the SCA project. I'm opting out of the event this weekend because I'm still supposed to be resting, all through the first trimester. And honestly, hanging out in the hot sun feeling sick and queasy for an entire weekend, not to mention trying to lace myself into garb styles that are pretty much all tight and not comfy (I have yet to make myself a Viking ensemble) just doesn't sound like fun at all. So going to stay home and work on the project instead, and probably spend the sickest hours of the day hanging on the couch with my dog and some K-drama. :)

Just have to get through this Friday at work first... luckily the day's half over already! Last but not least, here's what BabyCenter says baby looks like today:

8WK6D - Third Ultrasound

So very happy to report that we had our first OB/GYN ultrasound this morning and it went perfectly. I was pretty nervous this morning, after the spotting issues earlier this week and the fact that yesterday I had barely any nausea, and last night I didn't get up to use the bathroom even once, so naturally was starting to sweat just a teensy bit that we'd go in there and they wouldn't find a heartbeat.

But no, baby shrimp is still going strong - 23mm now, and heartbeat at 174 bpm - still measuring one day ahead. We got to hear the heartbeat for the first time, and that was amazing. Kaitlin took a video of the whump-whump-whumping, so once she sends it to me I'll post it here. Baby looks like a gummi bear now, and as soon as Kaitlin heard that she pulled up a Youtube of the Gummi Bears theme song and made me listen to it, LOL.

They weighed me and did a pap smear and a breast exam and drew blood. We talked to the doctor and I got the green light to color my hair, exercise, and take ambien when I need to. She suggested that I take some Vitamin B6 and/or Unisom for the nausea, though I think I'll probably skip the Unisom because it doesn't help me sleep and I won't mix it with Ambien. She was comfortingly sympathetic about my poor bruised tummy after all the heparin shots, but she didn't try to interfere with the Greek clinic's medication plan.

She also asked if we wanted to do the Harmony chromosomal screening test (the free-cell DNA blood test I was hoping for) and we said definitely yes. She believes my insurance will cover it because of my age, which is even better, and that means that we'll know the baby's sex by the end of the first trimester... really excited!!!! Though, Kaitlin made me promise not to tell anybody until we can do a combined baby shower/gender reveal party in Januaryish. Such a loooooong time to wait, LOL...

So we will have the nuchal translucency ultrasound done in three more weeks, on 9/24, along with the blood draw for the Harmony test. And then no more (doctor) ultrasounds until 20 weeks. But Kaitlin and I are probably going to go to the little 3D/4D ultrasound spa place in Denver at 16 weeks for a gender scan, and probably at least once more a little later into the pregnancy for another peek.

She looked at us a little funny when I asked her if she could recommend a lactation consultant with experience inducing lactation in non-gestational moms. I don't think she'd ever heard of induction before. She suggested we call the hospital, but I may do some googling instead, because I'd really like to find somebody experienced. I may also need to buy the breast pump really early... my insurance is supposed to cover the purchase of one, but I don't know how to go about that, exactly, so that's another thing I'll have to figure out in the next few weeks.

Anyway, they gave us this little gift bag of goodies, including some prenatal vitamin samples and a water bottle with their office logo on it... and overall the whole experience was just a hundred million times better than our first traumatic visit to their office during the miscarriage, so we both left beaming. <3 I don't think our next appointment will be nearly as scary, though I'll admit I'll breathe a lot easier once we're past the first trimester.

I'm also grateful to have had a good day yesterday in terms of nausea, and it's been relatively mild today too... I'll take it! Going to try and take the opportunity to drink as much water as I can, because it's so hard to deal with water in my stomach on the not-so-good days, and the doc emphasized strongly that drinking 8 - 10 glasses a day was vital to a healthy pregnancy. She said in later trimesters dehydration can even result in early contractions... eck. So water it is, whether it makes me feel sick or not. Gotta keep our little shrimp growing!

She also recommends that I gain between 25-35 pounds, though she said most of her patients tend to gain a little more than that, but she thinks that's all that's really necessary. I was glad to hear that, because my plan is basically just to eat healthy, and eat when I'm hungry, and eat things I am craving, but not use pregnancy as a license to pig out irresponsibly. I just don't think that would be good for either baby or me... and I certainly don't want to have any more of an uphill battle, after birth, than is really necessary to get back into shape.

Let's see, what else... she said my cervix length is 4.2 (inches? I think?) and that it looked good, when it gets down under 2 they get concerned and will usually put a stitch in, but they don't think I'll need it.

And that was really it for the first appointment. Lots of information, but the most important part is that baby is still going strong and we are still on the path to becoming mommies. <3 Life is really, really good.

8WK4D - More spotting

I've been plugging through the morning sickness as best I can, though I've learned that I usually have 2-3 good hours in the morning after I wake up, and then feel really crappy around 11 AM - noon, and then a little bit better (but really wanting a nap) around 2 - 4, and then back to feeling increasingly crappy from about 5 PM until bedtime. Usually by the time I go to bed I am at my most miserable.

But yesterday, what started out as just the faintest tiniest itty bit of pink in the morning turned into an actual almost-light-blood-flow right when I got home from work, bright red. A couple hours later it had faded to dark brown spotting with small clots, which lessened until bedtime. Spotting is still there this morning, less in quantity and still brown.

I still feel in my gut like everything is okay with the baby - but spotting is nervewracking regardless. I did take an extra 100 mg of progesterone last night, as I suspect the reduction in meds may have brought it on. I'll do another extra 100mg tonight, and if the spotting goes away, I'll try going back to the doctor-ordered dose of 600 total. I'm supposed to reduce again this coming weekend, but I'm thinking about going to 500 for a week instead of all the way to 400, to try and lessen the shock on my body. I have to count up the number of pills I have left, though... need to make sure I'd have enough to pull it off. But I figure first order of business is keeping baby in there. Second order of business would be figuring out how to get my hands on more progesterone if I run out. Surely my OBGYN would prescribe some if I really needed it??

Our first OBGYN appointment is on Thursday, so just a couple more days away. Really looking forward to checking up on our little shrimp and hopefully getting some reassurance that things are okay.

I've actually been feeling so tired and ucky lately that the idea of being pregnant seems more distant right now... more surreal... than it did a couple of weeks ago. I kind of feel like I don't have the energy to be as excited about it as I want to be. And work is going to be crazy in September - we're preparing over 3000 files to go from our current paper world to a digital, e-file world - and I barely have time to think when I'm trying to balance feeling sick and miserable at work with keeping up with everything I need to AND trying to make sure I don't let on to any of my staff yet that I'm pregnant.

It's a lot to process, I guess, so I'm just plodding through one day at a time, milking the feeling-ok hours as much as I can and trying to stay low-key and unstressed. I'm really grateful at this point that I don't have vomiting in the equation. While the nausea is not fun, I can't imagine how I'd be able to do this if I were vomiting AND trying to manage work at once.

I did manage to get the patterning I had planned done over the weekend, though it was probably only about 3 hours of work. I have a 3-day weekend coming up, and have to be able to spend at least half a day every day on the sewing part of the project if I'm going to be able to stay on track... Here's hoping I have good mornings with enough energy to pull it off.

EIGHT WEEKS

We made it to eight weeks! And lo, our first baby-bump photo. Funny how the belly sticker says "blueberry" while the ticker says baby's a raspberry today... I am thinking we may see several of these sorts of contradictions as we go, but that's okay.

For being a blueberry/raspberry, baby sure is making my tummy stick out a lot. You can see pooching already in the picture. :P I don't think I've actually gained weight yet - maybe a half-pound or so, but my weight regularly fluctuates by about 4 pounds so it's hard to tell for sure. Sorry for the bad-quality pic, but the lighting in our house is not awesome at 6 AM and it's hard to get a good phone photo. Hopefully we'll get better at this as we go along. (A pretty new camera is on my wish list, but we have some debts to pay off before I can justify it. :P)

In terms of morning sickness, for me it's REALLY turning into a misnomer. I actually feel best in the mornings, with the least ickiness and the most energy I'll have all day. Round about 11AM - noon, I start feeling slower and uckier. Usually by the time I get home from work I'm full-on miserable, and bedtime is a welcome escape from the awful seasick feeling.

What's tough is that drinking liquids - doesn't seem to matter what kind - is the worst part. I don't struggle much with food, but liquids make me feel really seasick/carsick, even when I'm sitting still. So I'm trying to pace myself with water throughout the day, and instead of guzzling every 30 minutes or so like I usually do, taking 2-3 swallows every 10 minutes. It's pretty intrusive when I'm trying to concentrate on working, but the smaller amounts make me less queasy in the long run.

There was such terrible news on the NW forums yesterday - two of the hopeful mamas that recently got BFPs miscarried. I am so very sad for both of them, as they're such good and kind people and life is just so horribly unfair. Not that I would ever want to jinx this pregnancy, but I guess I feel a little guilty that so far my luck is holding out. Fertility really is such a fickle thing, with no apparent rhyme or reason to why some babies stick and so many others don't. I am grateful beyond words that we are doing well so far... and heartbroken beyond words for my friends who are facing such loss. :(

So, there's a lot of stuff we need to accomplish this weekend, namely some cleaning and yard maintenance and I have to get a solid start on the SCA project. I think I'm going to have to do most of the work in the morning, since I know when afternoon nausea hits I'll be pretty much useless.

Also, starting tomorrow it's the first level of reduction in the medication I've been taking - I go from 12mg of estrogen/day to 10, and from 800mg of progesterone/day to 600. Hoping that it goes well and doesn't cause any spotting or other scary stuff...

Anyway, here's what BabyCenter says our little shrimp looks like at 8 weeks - starting to look a little more humanoid now, yeah?

7WK5D - Updates

Yesterday was the first day in over a week that the morning sickness was really mild. I had just a few short episodes of upset stomach, that were cured by eating a snack. And I had more energy and less exhaustion than I've had in a long while, so I was actually able to help with some normal, simple things like cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, and going to get my own water/meds/electronics/etc. instead of asking Kaitlin to bring things to me.

Last night, though, I didn't sleep well at all. I was trying to sleep without any ambien, and took some melatonin instead, but finally at about 1:30 AM I got up and took a quarter of an Ambien pill. Still didn't work much. I did get some dreams, so I know I was at least partially asleep, but no deep restful sleep like what I really needed. So this morning I feel like a zombie. Which, you know, is actually kind of par for the course with me anyway, with all my insomnia issues. Thankfully the nausea still seems to be hibernating today too, because I don't think I could make it through the day at work if I had to deal with both that and this exhaustion. I'm drinking some (decaf) coffee and eating a bagel, and we'll see if that perks me up any. I'd really like to spend today getting some things done at work, as we're getting close to the end of the month. But I'm no good to anyone if I'm sitting at my desk staring blankly at the computer screen.

Oh, I did come home last night to find my pregnancy belly bump stickers and belly butter had arrived from Amazon. I dove right into the belly butter (after Kaitlin very thoughtfully drew hearts over the bee-shaped graphics in nice dark sharpie, because I hate bees) and it's actually not as thick as I was expecting, more the texture of a regular lotion. OK by me, though, as long as it helps. The first belly sticker ("blueberry") is for 8 weeks, so we're going to take our first belly photo on Friday.

For some reason I have it in my head that at 8 weeks we'll truly be pregnant. *shrugs* Not sure where that comes from, since the morning sickness for the last week has made it pretty darned obvious. :P But anyway, our next ultrasound is the day before we hit 9 weeks. And then I have to find out whether they'll let us have any more, especially in the first trimester.

If only I had enough money to buy my own ultrasound machine so I could look at baby every single day and reassure myself that they're growing all right. :P

7WK4D - Ultrasound goodies

So I was finally able to get the video off my phone and Kaitlin scanned in the ultrasound printouts for me, and here they are!

So again the dark teardrop-shaped thing is the gestational sac, and the round bright white outline is the yolk sac. But look how much bigger baby is! Floating above the yolk now. The rounder area on the left is the head, and the pointier area to the right is the tail. See the little brighter white spot near the tail? That's a leg that's starting to form. And the whole middle segment, on the screen, is what was pulsing - it's where the heartbeat is. We were able to see little nubs around that area too, that will turn into arms and hands.

And here, friends, is the most fantastic souvenir of our ultrasound visit. Behold the darlingness of this tiny little heartbeat:

All the love. Love love love.

Nausea was maybe the worst yesterday that it's been so far. I had a really hard time at work, trying to focus when I felt so awful. Today's been better... only just starting to get some of the nausea now. Hoping it staves off until after work hours because I have so much to do and really need to be able to bring my A-game...

7WK3D – 2nd Ultrasound!

I spent most of the weekend feeling ucky and exhausted, lying on the couch. Did manage to go to the grocery store with Kaitlin, although we had to stop a couple of times so I could sit and rest and get my tummy back under control… and then I went and sat at the front of the store while she checked out because I couldn’t stand up in the line for that long. I also managed to spend just a few minutes on Sunday afternoon patterning the foresleeves for the SCA project dress. They really didn’t take that long, maybe 15 minutes, yet I felt so exhausted afterward it was like I’d spent a day doing yard work. X.x

Mostly I’ve been grumpy and mildly sick to my stomach and really tired. The fact that I can’t seem to get up to do anything without feeling winded and dizzy and sick is also very annoying, and adding to my overall grumpiness. And, I’m experiencing some mild acid reflux when I drink more than just a swallow or two of water at a time.  Boobs are more sore in the last couple of days. No vomiting yet, for which I am (mostly) grateful, though the reflux stuff makes it feel like things are going to come back up and that’s less than fun.

But, BUT… we had our second ultrasound this morning. Kaitlin couldn’t come to this one, because today’s her first day of work at a new job and she couldn’t miss it. So I went in there alone, still a little nervous that it would turn out to be too good to be true after all… but all is perfectly well. Baby Shrimp is measuring 12.5mm today, which is actually a couple days ahead, with a heartbeat of 153 bpm. He/She actually looks more like a seahorse now than a shrimp, I think. I got to take a good video of the heartbeat this time, and get another picture, but won’t be able to put those up until after I get home tonight… so for now there’s only this clip from the ultrasound tech’s report to share:

So happy and grateful that everything is going okay.  However, the novelty of morning sickness has officially worn off after a week, and I’m guessing there are weeks more to go before it goes away. Trying to enjoy it, for what it’s worth, as a part of this experience that I’m only going to get to do once in my life. Still waiting eagerly for my Amazon package to come in… hope it gets here before Friday, because that’s when we take our first 8-week baby bump picture!

Also, it’s time to go on the hunt for some tall-maternity-work-trousers, because right  now I have only one pair of stretchy pants that I can wear to work without worrying that the waist is crushing my little baby. Yes, I realize baby is probably just fine even if I wear tight pants… but I just feel better not having to think about it. And loose ones help with the nausea too.

Goals for this week include finding/ordering at least one pair of maternity pants, and picking out and ordering our elopement dresses from Aliexpress so we can be sure they arrive on time. Also this weekend I have to pattern the bodice of the SCA project dress, ask Kaitlin to mow the lawn and whack weeds, and then ask her to start working on the vector art for the nursery character decals. I am so excited about our nursery concept, guys…. It will be a lot of work but it’s going to look so SO awesome.

Okay, now to down a few more saltines and try to make it through the rest of the work day…

SEVEN WEEKS

So we hit seven weeks today! The blueberry milestone - so exciting to finally make it past the sweet-pea stage since we didn't get this far with our first.

I haven't blogged much in the last couple days, mostly because I've been feeling crappy (yay!!).  Wednesday was the worst so far, I think because I hadn't slept well for a couple of days, so it aggravated the nausea in a major way. My morning sickness, so far, appears to be of the feeling-moderately-sick-to-my-stomach-all-day-long type. It's worse if I don't eat often enough, OR if I eat too much, OR if I move around a lot, OR if I sit still too much.  X.x So I keep trying to find this golden balance of eating just the right amount, just often enough, and moving around just the right amount, but not too much. I've also noticed it's worse when I'm tired, and much, MUCH better when I've slept well the night before. 

No vomiting yet, though there have been several times when I've wished I could. :P

Still the usual sore boobs, and a lot of fatigue the past couple days - I've actually slept really well the last two nights in a row and still wake up feeling sleepy and wanting to go back to bed. Looking forward to the weekend so that I can get some more sleep, though I absolutely must start working on the SCA project or I'll never have it done in time for the November deadline. 

We go in for another ultrasound on Monday morning, and then we have an appointment with the OBGYN for an ultrasound at 8WK6D (so almost nine weeks). Not sure where we'll go from there, exactly, but I'm trying to make a list of questions for the OBGYN now, because I know I won't remember half of them once I'm on the spot. So far what I've come up with:

1. Can we qualify for a free-cell DNA test and/or any other types of genetic screening? (They test for a lot of different things, but also gender. Since we have so little info on either of the donors, I'm hoping our OB will order some so that my insurance will cover it...)

2. Can I keep taking Ambien on occasion for my insomnia? (I usually take 2.5 - 5mg, which is a quarter or a half of a pill, on nights when nothing else is working. The internet says doctors often prescribe it for pregnant women, but I'd like to just make sure.)

3. Can she recommend or connect us with a lactation consultant? Not just for me, but also for Kaitlin, as Kaitlin would really like to try and induce lactation so she can breastfeed too.

4. Is it safe for me to start doing some mild exercise, like walking? Is it safe to color my hair?

5. Can she recommend or connect us with prenatal classes?

6. What options do we have for our birth plan? Who do we call/what do we do when labor starts? (I am a total newbie at this, I know pretty much NOTHING!)

7. When should I call her office? (What symptoms, conditions, questions, etc. warrant a call?)

8.  How many checkups does she do, and when? How many ultrasounds? 

9. How can I best avoid/manage PPD, if it becomes necessary?

10. What is my risk for gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, etc? Can I get my flu shot with her office this winter?

11. Should I be working with a perinatologist? One of the awesome ladies on the NW forums suggested it, but I'm not sure how to go about finding one...

I'm sure I'll have more by the time we get there, but I think these cover the biggest ones. Kaitlin and I made a pact that we will find out the baby's gender together early, but we won't tell anybody until January-ish when we throw a baby shower. If we can find out the gender from one of the early tests, that would be awesome - if not, I think we're going to go to one of the little boutique-y 4D ultrasound places here in Denver around 16 weeks so we can get a fancy ultrasound AND an early peek at the goods. Actually, I think we're going to do the 4D ultrasound regardless because it sounds like so much fun. This is going to be my only pregnancy, so I kind of don't want to miss out on a single fun thing about it if I can. :)  

I also realize this is still kind of premature, since we're only 7 weeks in. But we ARE halfway through the first trimester at this point, so it's really hard to be cautious with my excitement.

So here's what babycenter says baby looks like at seven weeks: 

Still pretty shrimp-like, yeah? Looks like the yolk sac is shrinking down too.  Oh, and my poor tummy is really starting to reflect the abuse of night after night of heparin shots. :( Just take a look:

It's actually bruised enough that just wearing my jeans buttoned up today feels sore. O.o And sadly I think we have another six weeks to go of the darned things before we can stop doing them. I just keep gritting my teeth and reminding myself of that itty bitty little heartbeat, which needs these shots in order to keep growing strong. <3

Three more days until our next ultrasound. There hasn't been any bleeding or anything since the one on Monday, which is a huge relief, but somehow I still feel a little nervous. I guess part of me feels like this is too good to be true, and surely at some point someone's going to snatch it away from me again. Really looking forward to another glimpse in there, hoping we'll see baby getting bigger just like they're supposed to, with a heartbeat increasing just like it's supposed to, and we get to keep dreaming...

6WK4D - Relief

Kaitlin scanned the picture of our little embryo ultrasound for me last night, so I can finally post it. The pic shows the whole gestational sac (the teardrop shaped dark space) with the yolk sac (the round white outline) and the fetal pole (the sort of vertical white mass on the left of the yolk sac). Right now it's so early that the yolk sac is sustaining the baby... in fact, my pregnancy book entry for yesterday informed us that the baby's future sperm or eggs will actually be formed in the yolk sac and pass to the baby's body a little later - so weird! Anyway, eventually the yolk sac and gestational sac end up turning into the placenta as the little shrimp grows bigger.

Here's what BabyCenter says a six-week embryo looks like. See what I mean about being a little shrimp?

Maybe it’s just the high after getting to see that tiny heartbeat yesterday, but I kind of feel like all that anxiety and worry I was dealing with has melted away. I feel calm and certain that things are going to be okay. I know there’s still risk and that it’s still very early, but somehow I just feel a million times better.

Yetserday was the first day of truly serious nausea. I’d say on a scale of 1-10, about a 5… but it was persistent and would NOT go away for pretty much the entire day. I finished my entire stash of Saltines at work, and had a huge craving for red meat by the time I got home (I usually don’t like red meat very much) so we went out for a celebratory dinner and I had steak.  Thankfully the nausea wasn’t so bad that I couldn’t keep food down (it has to be really, really bad, because my stomach is stubborn about holding on to its contents) but the driving and walking and such really were not fun. Also, the smell of my dog’s litter box and the cats’ litter boxes was driving me nuts last night.

This morning, I bought a decaf coffee and a chocolate muffin at the little cafeteria at work… but the muffin tastes fishy. Like, literally, it tastes like fish. I’m hungry so I’m trying to eat small bits at least, but I don’t think I’m going to get through much of it because chocolate fish tasting muffin is so not delicious. I have no idea if this is because of the pregnancy, or because the café downstairs isn’t the classiest of joints.  SIGH. I’ll need to spend my lunch break at the store getting more work groceries. So far it appears that what my body wants is red meat and greens. Lots and lots of greens. I actually sat on the couch the other night just stuffing salad leaves straight from the bag into my face. O.o At least it’s healthy, I guess??

Let’s see, what else… my lower back was aching last night after we took a shower. Still having some blood pressure issues, but they weren’t as bad yesterday because the weather was cooler.  Boobs still sore, still getting up in the middle of the night to pee.  Super tired today, but that’s mostly because I didn’t sleep well last night (Kaitlin kept tossing and turning, which kept me from being able to sleep, which is probably also the reason why I feel irritable this morning…)

My name’s been changed at work, and in our state systems now, so there’s really only a few things left to update – bank accounts, the house title, my passport, and various other bits. I’ll need to order more work business cards and have them redo the sign outside my office. But otherwise I am well on the way to starting a whole different kind of life. Kaitlin and I are starting to talk about our Vegas elopement, too, which looks like it will probably be November-ish.

It’s shaping up to be a very busy next few months, with an SCA project I’ve been asked to complete by mid-November and Kaitlin switching to a new teaching position and a ton of other projects, big and small, that are going to need attention. But it’s exciting, too, because now that our little one is really and truly in existence and on the way, life is going to start snowballing forward over the next few months. So excited!

Kaitlin shared this hilarious little video with me on Facebook yesterday and I thought other pregnant cat-lovers out there would appreciate it:

6WK3D - Ultrasound Day

I started spotting again on Saturday night, through most of Sunday. It's now about 5AM and I am lying in bed waiting for my alarm to go off, because our ultrasound is at 8 this morning. I didn't sleep very well... Too nervous. Excited, anxious, fearful... I just keep thinking over and over "please be in there, at least one strong heartbeat, please don't turn into a mess like last time, please let this be it."

My stomach aches, not sure if it's anxiety or hunger or nausea. It's been a very long couple of weeks and this is our first really meaningful glimpse into what's happening. Naturally my mind keeps running over all the things that have brought us to this point, the failed relationships, the crazy awful year at work, the doctor appointments and needles and pills and probes and plane tickets and blood and speculums and money stuff, like some kind of never-ending 80's movie musical montage. Are we about to get one more step closer to a happy ending? Or are we about to face yet another devastating plot twist?

At least we're only hours away now, instead of weeks or days. If today is good news, there's still weeks to go in which anything could still happen. But we can cross that bridge if and when we get the chance to get to it. Today first.

Not sure how I'm going to make it through the day at work after this. Hope the alarm goes off soon....


EDIT:

WE SAW A HEARTBEAT!!!!

After the longest morning EVER, getting up and getting dressed for work and making coffee and getting my little dog out of her cage and driving over to the doctor's office and waiting nervously for the ultrasound tech, we finally got just exactly precisely the results we were hoping for.

One gestational sac. One yolk sac. One fetal pole, measuring 6.33 mm (6 weeks and 3 days). And one itty bitty fluttering heartbeat at 108 bpm.

WE HAZ A BABY.  Oh my gosh oh my gosh. The ultrasound tech printed pics for us, and I took pics of them with my phone, but of course my phone is not cooperating so I won't get to post them probably until tonight when I get home. In the meantime, though, this is a short clip that Kaitlin took on her phone, trying to capture the heartbeat on video.

There really just aren't words to describe the relief, the joy, the gratitude. I know we're not out of the woods yet - there's a good 6 weeks or so more to go in this trimester where anything can still happen... but at least for today I am so very, very happy and thankful. Thankful for a heartbeat, even more thankful that there's exactly one baby in there, which was exactly what we wanted. No more pendulum stressing about what-if-it-didn't-really-work to oh-my-god-how-will-we-have-the-life-we-imagined-if-there's-multiples. We still have to be cautious about keeping the one we've got... but it couldn't be a more perfect little bean, right where it's supposed to be for this stage, and there really isn't anything more we could have asked for.

We get to go back in one week for another scan, to see how it's progressing. And then I think I'll make an 8WK3D appointment for a scan with my OBGYN... and that way I'll get one scan a week for three weeks in a row... LUCKY!! :)

Now to sit here and covertly admire my ultrasound pictures for the rest of the day at work... <3