Today's not a great day. I decided to put myself on bed rest all weekend in the hopes that it would help. I was still spotting, lightly, last night.... We went to see "Into The Woods" at the movies, then came home and went to bed. I had a great night's sleep and have spent all day in bed surfing on my iPad. Kaitlin went out and got me some chicken and biscuits from KFC as it's what I really wanted for breakfast. But it's close to 3 in the afternoon now and I am feeling lightly crampy, and the blood flow is increasing. I'd describe it as heavy spotting, or a light flow. There are clots in it now, and while the color is still dark it's getting brighter.
It's definitely cramping and not gas this time. The cramps aren't bad.... Aren't even as bad as they were the night we got our BFP. But they are really scary.
I just want this time of uncertainty to be over. I just want to have that damn ultrasound and maybe another HcG test so that I can know if it's worth having hope at this point. I'm tired of the yo-yo between "it's going to be fine" and "it's over, let's get ready to try again."
Six more days until we get our answer. I may just lose my mind. ;.;
So Kaitlin and I are watching some Xena and talking about turning our Las Vegas elopement into a Xena/Gabrielle themed thing. Trying to distract myself as much as possible.
EDIT:
It's over. I'm cramping and bleeding bright red now, heavy as a normal period, and just passed a clot the size of a flattened golf ball.
We still have to wait until our ultrasound date to confirm it. Then we have to wait for months while I feed us on ramen and try to pay off our debt enough to try again. Then we have another TWW and more waiting after that to see if it sticks.
I am so sick of waiting. I hate the world right now. Excuse me while I go cry for the rest of the night.
:( :( :( I am so, so sorry to read this update...I would still go to the ER and get checked out. There are definitely stories of bright red bleeding and clots that turned out to be healthy pregnancies. I'm sorry this is happening to you either way. Sending love <3
ReplyDeleteI did... so far there's still a sac and HcG levels are in the right range... but they diagnosed me with "threatened miscarriage." Basically there's nothing anybody can do. I'll either miscarry or I won't, and it's a 50/50 chance of either.
ReplyDeleteGoing to try and sleep, and drink water, and spend every possible minute asking the baby to hold on!!!
<3 Thank you so much for all your encouragement and suggestions. They really mean a lot and are more helpful than you could know...