6WK1D - anybody have a stay-pregnant dance?

I'm back at work today. Maybe I shouldn't be, I don't know, but the nurse at the ER was pretty blunt about saying she didn't think that bed rest would be any more or less effective - pretty much there's not much I or the doctor or anybody else can do to change fate. Except keep taking my meds, and my vitamin, and eating well, and drinking lots of water, and getting sleep. All the basic be-nice-to-yourself stuff that they'd suggest whether I was pregnant, had cancer, a cold or acne. It's the catch-all answer for everything.

And it doesn't feel like enough. There should be some magic ritual, some naked dance around a fire at midnight under a full moon while wearing a banana skin on my head or something, that would improve the odds. I guess I understand why so many cultures come up with chants and prayers and ceremonies and healing stones and talismans and whatever else they can think of to try and feel like they're doing something helpful, instead of sitting around waiting for a fate they have no ability to change.

So today I am still light-bleeding/heavy-spotting. My lower abdomen isn't crampy, but it's achy - like it's bruised. Maybe just overly sensitive? The vaginal ultrasound over the weekend was a lot more uncomfortable than usual, like I was swollen inside, and the ultrasound tech said that's pretty normal in early pregnancy.

I did have a thought over the weekend... even before we left for Greece, I was having to pee like every ten seconds for weeks. I assumed it was because of the Lupron and crazy doses of hormones. Once we got to Greece it continued, waking up in the middle of the night at least twice to pee - even after the transfer and after switching out the Lupron for heparin.

But since the spotting and bleeding started, I haven't had to pee as often. I've been able to sleep all the night through without having to get up. And I am starting to wonder - maybe the meds had my uterus full of extra blood and fluid? Maybe now that there's a baby in there, my body's just getting rid of the stuff it no longer needs in order to make room? Maybe maybe??

Most other pregnancy symptoms are still nonexistent. I am tired, yes, but that could have to do with emotional exhaustion and blood loss as much as anything else. I felt nauseous getting up this morning, but I always do in the mornings, especially in winter. My boobs are sore - a little, anyway. Otherwise not much going on, aside from the bleeding. If I didn't know better I'd say I was just having a regular AF.

We're doing half-doses of heparin every night now, trying to stretch out the injections as long as possible since apparently my meds aren't shipping until today, and then there's a 7-business-day wait for them to arrive.  There's the slight chance they might arrive in 5 business days, but I'm not holding my breath. I'm going to ask my OBGYN on Thursday (assuming that the ultrasound shows that a baby is still in there) if they're willing to at least give me a prescription for progesterone in the meantime, so that I don't run out before the refills get here. That's the one med that I would be really, really worried about running out of, and I don't have much left.

The one good thing about being at work is that there's enough to do that I can stay relatively distracted most of the time. Thankfully I don't have any meetings scheduled for today, so I am just going to sit at my desk and try not to get up unless I absolutely have to...