5WK4D - More spotting and med problems

The drama just doesn't seem to stop, does it...?

Early this morning I was back to spotting again. An hour or two later, back to light bleeding - maybe light enough to call spotting? Still very dark brown, which the internet seems to think is good, with small clots (maybe not so good.) No major cramping, but lots of gas pain - and sometimes it's really hard to tell the difference between gas pain and cramps. Trying to be zen about the whole thing, but this is probably the most nervewracking thing I've gone through yet in this whole TTC journey. Add to that all the crazy hormones that are setting my emotions on edge, and you have one very sad and scared lady over here.

Our ultrasound isn't for another week. In the meantime, I am due to run out of heparin injections on 1/7. The place I am trying to order them from, in the UK, is making my life difficult - requiring the Greek clinic to email them directly with the prescription (which they finally did this morning) and now asking for an amended prescription so I can get the right kind of Utrogestan. And even if we do get the technicalities worked out, they won't ship them until 1/5. I paid extra for the fastest shipping they have - 7 days to the US - but that's business days, not calendar days, so I won't get the meds until 1/13. Thankfully I should have *just* enough progesterone and estrogen to get me through.

But, the Greek clinic says that's too long to go without the heparin. I don't know what to do. US pharmacies won't accept international prescriptions, and I can't find a doc here who is willing to re-prescribe the meds for me. So all I can think of is that we'll have to take our remaining handful of doses every other day, or do a half-dose every day, to try and make them last longer. I asked Sotiria at the Greek clinic if this is an option, but I won't hear from her until tomorrow morning because it's past business hours for them now.

I'm sure all the stress isn't helping. I got to work this morning and our computer system isn't working, and is likely to be down all day. I suppose I should be somewhat grateful, as that means I literally can't get most of my work done, and will have no choice but to spend the day trying to find other things, like filing and keeping an eye on my staff. Oh, and this phone call I have to make in a few minutes to our contracting agency.

Really don't want to do any of it. Really want to go home and sleep. But there's only two of us in the office today, so that's not exactly an option. Also, dizzy again after taking my morning meds.

SIGH.

Fatigue yesterday and today, like I could just sleep for a hundred million years. Also some nausea this morning, which got better after I made myself eat a sandwich from Panera that I really didn't want, but eventually ate the whole thing.

Hoping for a quiet and uneventful day with few responsibilities. Honestly, hoping for a day when it will be mostly ok to zone out and try to relax. The house is a wreck and we desperately need groceries, but I'm going to have to ask Kaitlin to do most of the work this weekend because I just don't have the energy.

If only I knew that this was going to stick and everything was going to be okay. Then I could relax and just enjoy the tiredness and tummy yucks as pregnancy symptoms.

Kaitlin and I did talk last night though, and we decided. If this doesn't work, we ARE going back for another try, $10K or no. We'll figure the money stuff out however we have to. But it feels like we've come too far to give up now. So I'm holding on to that... even if this ends, it won't be the end.

Just have to make it until tomorrow.