I was so happy this morning. It seemed like the spotting was gone. I spent most of the day in bed, super tired, super hungry. But it seemed like everything would be okay after all, and so I was excited about the way our new year was shaping up.
Kaitlin came home, brought me food. I took my meds. She brought the heparin shot up to our bedroom, and I decided to go to the bathroom before she gave it to me. Went in there, and....
I'm bleeding. It's not spotting, like yesterday, it's bleeding. Equivalent to a relatively light period day, and dark brown.
I'm terrified. It's 9:30 PM and I have to figure out how to sleep, because I have to work tomorrow - can't call in, because there's only two of us scheduled to be in the office thanks to all the staffing chaos that's been going down. And I may be losing my baby, and there's nothing anybody can do about it. Nothing I can do about it.
I cried for a while, but it feels like a waste of emotion on something I have no control over. We still took the shot, I'll keep taking my meds, and we wait to see what tomorrow brings. What the ultrasound on Thursday brings... it's a week away. And then we figure out what to do next...
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