IUI#3 CD16 5DPI - Sick

Apparently the bug Kaitlin had on Monday was not food poisoning, because whatever it was, I got it on Friday. Spent most of the night camping out in the bathroom, throwing up. Ugh. Kaitlin is at an SCA event this weekend, so I spent all day yesterday sleeping, trying to force myself to eat, and trying to stay awake long enough that I'd be able to sleep again that night.

Today I feel better... the nausea is gone. But I still feel very weak and tired, and my stomach is cramping. I can't tell if it's leftover from being sick, or if it's gas, or if it's implantation cramping. Obviously, I'd be very happy for the latter. However, it's frustrating because I had so many plans for this weekend, to keep working on getting the office set up. I'm doing some work today since I got nothing at all done yesterday, but it's slow going... I get through a couple of steps and then have to stop and lay down for a few minutes because I'm so tired. Ugh.

I hope being sick isn't going to hurt our chances of getting pregnant this cycle. Not that it's all that likely anyway, but it's frustrating...

IUI#3 CD11 Maybe Third Time’s A Charm?

Our third vial of swimmers should now be happily scooting around in my uterus. Hoping that there’s an egg in there waiting for them. Hoping that this cycle is the one. Not particularly looking forward to the next five days or so of cramping that is pretty much inevitable. :P

Poor Kaitlin was up most of the night with food poisoning, so it turned out she couldn't come with me to the IUI appointment after all. I told her that if this is the cycle that works, we'll just tell our kiddo that Mommy was having sympathy morning sickness on the day Mama got pregnant. :P

I have to go to the drugstore tonight after work and pick up a progesterone refill… I’ll start those on Friday. My goal for the next two weeks is to take my prenatal and vitamin E religiously, drink a ton of water and do 30 minutes of walking every day.

Everywhere I look right now, I see babies and toddlers. That’s somewhat to be expected, given that I work in a courthouse. Every day, I see parents walking around with their little ones, and I feel envious. While I’m doing my best to stay occupied with other things, it feels like the biggest and grandest plans I have for my life can’t be made into goals until we know when and if we’ll become parents.

However, where the thought of IVF used to be a huge worry, I actually am feeling somewhat better about the idea since I learned that I could combine a vacation to Greece with an IVF procedure and save almost half of what I’d spend doing the procedure here. I am still a bit daunted by how much it will cost – probably around $8000 with travel and all – but compared to the $15-20K that it costs here, it’s actually more reasonable.

Anyway, on to the TWW! My test date is June 5^th, and my birthday is June 12^th. I’m hoping for a BFP for my birthday, maybe?? 

IUI#3 CD10 Another round tomorrow!

The blog’s been quiet lately, so here’s the scoop: AF showed up on May 10th, about a day after the BFN blood test.  I did my five days of Clomid last week, Monday through Friday, and today (Monday) I went in for an ultrasound. I have several good follicles, one that’s 19mm. They also did a urine OPK, which they didn’t do at my last ultrasound, and sure enough it was a smiley. That means I’m going back in tomorrow AM for the IUI.

I asked Kaitlin if she wanted to come to this one, since she’s working 4 10 hour days this week and it would put her at work very late tomorrow. She decided she’ll come anyway, and just deal with the late hours, because if this is the round that works she’ll be really disappointed if she wasn’t there for the conception of our kiddo.

I’m feeling good about this one – my signs have always shown that I ovulate pretty early on in my cycle, around Day 11. Our two rounds of IUI thus far have always taken place later, like around day 13 or so. I took OPKs myself for the first one, and didn’t get a positive so they had me trigger… but you have to wait 36 hours after trigger for an insem, and I can’t help but wonder if I was triggering around the same time I was naturally ovulating, and maybe the insem was late. Last month we didn’t do any OPKs at all, so for all I know I had already ovulated by the time the IUI happened. So as of this morning, my follicles are definitely all still in there, AND I’m naturally ovulating without even needing a trigger – so it seems to me that maybe our timing with this one will be better and we save $80 on a trigger shot. :P

The only bummer is having to tell my boss I’ll be late to work two days in a row this week, as well as Tuesday next week in order to have our consult with Dr. Trout. I haven’t given her any details as to why I’ve had so many doctor appointments lately – I really don’t want to have to answer questions about whether the procedure has worked yet or not, etc…. It will be awkward enough to tell her that I’m pregnant, once that happens. But I’m sure she has to have noticed how frequently I’ve had doctor appointments this year.

Anyway, this round will use up our third vial. If it works, I’d be getting the good news just in time for my birthday next month. I would really, really love to be pregnant before my 35^th birthday. :P So I’m really hoping maybe this one is our month?? If it doesn’t work, we’ve got just one vial left. I guess we see what Dr. Trout says when we meet with her next week, as to whether she’ll be recommending IVF at that point.

If this round works, EDD would be February 10… close to Valentine’s Day. That’s Kaitlin’s mother’s and sister-in-law’s birthdays also, so hey… maybe it will run in the family? :P Fingers crossed!

In the meantime, over the weekend we did more work on our office storage closet. We put in the top shelf, built the internal “ladder” shelves, and then painted everything. We have some paint touchups to do, and then the “ladder” gets installed and we paint the remaining shelves. Once that’s done, I can start sorting, boxing and shelving all of the junk that’s currently cluttered all over the floor. I really can’t wait, as getting all that stuff tucked away out of sight is going to make me feel a million times better about the state of the house in general; the STUFF has just been in piles everywhere for almost two years, and with the new storage space we’ll be able to have a place to store not just office stuff but all the other little knickyknacky things that don’t have a place.

I have a three day weekend coming up. Kaitlin’s going to spend it at an SCA event – I’m really not in the mood. I may day-trip it up there for one day, but I’ve basically spent every three-day weekend I’ve had in the last two years at SCA events, and I want to be able to do something else with this one. So the plan is, while Kaitlin’s at Crossroads, I’ll start boxing stuff and piling it into the new closet, and will move her bookshelves to the opposite wall of the room and re-sort all her books onto them… I’ll need to go buy another bookshelf, too, as we’re going to need at least three.

Once the bookshelves are moved, we’ll have someone come help us move the gigantic desk that Kaitlin got from Craigslist upstairs. Then she can bring her computer up, get it hooked up, and we can build shelves overhead for her various knickknacks  and display things, hang up the art she wants to hang, I can clean and re-sort my own desk area, and we’ll actually have a real, useable workspace. Excited!!

Now if only the pregnancy thing would come together as well… then we’d really be making some progress. ;)

IUI#2 CD30 16DPI - BFN

Went in for a blood test this morning, to get the BFN confirmed so I can stop taking the progesterone. Got a call around four in the afternoon with confirmation – no pregnancy for me… and I can stop the progesterone now. They want me to call on the first day of my next AF. The nurse said we were “approved to do another Clomid round” although Dr. Trout wants a personal consult with us this time around. I’m not sure if that should make me nervous… Granted, this will be our fifth month since we started all this, but we’ve really only tried twice. Two BFNs seems pretty normal to me, but then, I do have awful AMH and FSH levels, so now I have to wonder if the doc’s only wanting to try clomid for us a few times before recommending we move on to IVF.

I don’t know what we’ll do, if we have to do IVF. I did a little research today and learned that IVF is far, far less expensive overseas – like $5,000 - $6,000 including travel expenses – whereas IVF with our clinic would be around $15,000. And hey, there’s an exotic foreign vacation in there to boot! So that may be the way we go, if we have to. SIGH.

Anyway, on to the next round…

IUI#2 CD28 14DPI - BFN on the horizon, sigh

Negative test last night, another negative this morning. No sign of AF, but that's not surprising given the progesterone. I called this morning and made an appointment for Thursday morning, to have a blood test done. Not optimistic at this point, but at least it will confirm that I can stop taking the progesterone so AF will show up again. IUI#3, here we come!

In the meantime, I did manage to go walking for 30 minutes at lunch both yesterday and today. I also managed to eat only my dinner last night, without all the late night snacking I usually do. And, I'm trying to commit to drinking more water throughout the day... in the hopes that it will improve my overall health AND fertility for the next round.

This afternoon I have to meet up with my family after work and have a group dinner. There are three birthdays and Mother's Day that we're sort of wrapping up into one thing... I'm thinking about buying flowers for my mom, my aunt and my brother's girlfriend, and then buying something tongue-in-cheek manly for my brother - not sure what, though. A bouquet of food or something. :P Guess we'll see what's available...

IUI#2 CD27 13DPI – Not Looking Promising

Well, I’ve taken pregnancy tests steadily for the last four days, all with clearly negative results. And I still feel no symptoms. I’m pretty certain that this round is a bust, but I have to continue to take the progesterone until my doctor does a blood test. According to FertilityFriend, today is the recommended test date… so I’ll take another test when I get home from work, but I’m not holding my breath. Statistically about 80% of women get a pregnancy test by 13DPI, so there’s only about a 20% likelihood that I’m pregnant at this point.

Sigh.

However, this weekend we took the first steps in getting Kaitlin’s computer moved from the basement up to the office. First, we had to go through the boxes and boxes of stuff we have up there… we took a bunch of stuff to Goodwill, threw away a ton more, and made an Ebay/Craigslist box of things we need to sell. Kaitlin moved her art supplies to the basement, too. But it became painfully obvious that there is just too much stuff and nowhere to gracefully store it. So we spent the rest of the day coming up with a plan to redesign the closet with shelves that will accommodate things like unused product boxes we want to keep, copy paper and other office supplies, old photos and sentimental memorabilia, Kaitlin’s comic books, cleaning supplies, cat food and litter, and bins for Kaitlin’s toys and knickknacks. Then we went to Home Depot and priced the materials we’re going to need – looks like we can do it for about $100.

The plan for this coming weekend is to tear out the shelf and hanging bar that are currently in the closet, go to Home Depot and buy the materials, then paint and assemble the shelving (and staple plastic over the hole in the drywall in back, as we need it to work on our bathroom later but don’t want the cats or random items falling into it.) When it’s done we should have a LOT more useable space, as we’re putting in shelves that are two feet deep. I’ll have to make another trip to the store to buy plastic and fabric bins and tubs to plop in there, and then it will be another day of putting stuff into bins and getting it stashed away. Then we can pull all her books out of the two bookshelves, move the bookshelves to the opposite wall, put the books back and add a third bookshelf… and then, finally, we can move her desk and computer stuff up. Then, we can install more shelving above her desk so she can display her knickknacks, and hang her artwork around it. Eventually we need to get her another office desk, probably off of Craigslist. And I want to clean off my desk and maybe buy a new computer monitor and move around some of my cords and other items and make my desk look pretty and neat again.

Then Kaitlin will have more work to do in the basement to organize her art supplies into her space down there.  Funny how such a small thing turns out to be SO MUCH work – but then, I’ve always found that my desk/office space requires the most effort to organize. But with any luck, all the new storage we’re creating will come in very handy for making that room (and the rest of the house) more useable and livable. This closet is also the first really major project that we’ve done together since Kaitlin moved in, so I’m kind of looking forward to having a part of the house that we created together. We might install a new window shade in there… and maybe I’ll make a new valance and curtain for the cat boxes. We might put a cat door in the door too.

Anyway, the point is, it’s nice to have a big project to focus on while all of this TTC stuff is ongoing. I know this is only our second IUI so I shouldn’t be that disappointed or worried… but it feels like we’ve been waiting FOREVER for that BFP. :P

IUI#2 CD23 9DPI - I've Been Slacking

Well, today we are 9DPI. I really don’t believe I’m pregnant this time around. Part of that, though, is that in a way it feels like I don’t deserve to be, because I’ve been such a slacker about my vitamins and supplements and so on.

I had two decent follies before the IUI – something like 16 mm and 17mm, one in each ovary – but a very thin lining. I don’t remember the exact measurement, but I think it was something like 5 or 6 mm – and from what I’ve read on the internet the goal is more like 8mm. The IUI itself was four days later, but they didn’t do another ultrasound at that time, so I have no idea if my lining was thicker by then.

Anyway, I’ve done a terrible job of keeping up with my prenatals, Vitamin E supplements, and drinking enough water. I have had barely any physical activity, because it’s been cold and I’ve been busy and tired at work and haven’t used my break to walk like I should. I’ve been gassy and bloated, with something of an upset stomach. The one thing I HAVE done faithfully is to take my progesterone every night. I haven’t missed one yet, and that’s something, I guess.

Still, I feel like I’ve been slacking so much that I really don’t deserve a BFP this time around. I did use a couple pregnancy tests around 3-4DPI, to see if the trigger shot was still in my system. Both tests were stark white. Theoretically, although it’s crazy early, I could take another one starting today. Tomorrow, 10DPI, is when I usually tell myself I’ll start testing – and that’s still really, really early. But, as heartwrenching as those stark white tests are, each day drains my hope little by little. Somehow it feels easier to have hope drained slowly than to lose it all in one instant when AF shows up. Also, because I’m on the progesterone, AF may not show up until I stop taking it. And I’m not allowed to stop taking it until my RE has confirmed I am not pregnant via a blood test.

I’ve done more research on the internet recently, about how I could thicken my uterine lining and improve egg quality. Exercise is apparently top of the list, along with drinking more water. Then comes the supplements – L-Arginine, something called CoQ10 Ubiquinol, red leaf raspberry tea, pomegranate juice, and pineapple core for the first five days after ovulation. Vitamin E is mentioned by some too, along with prenatals, of course.

But I remember how stressed I was the last time I tried all of this… how every day I had to look at a calendar and record meticulously which miracle cures I was supposed to take that day. I really think the stress of doing it all just right contributed to the fact that I didn’t get pregnant back then.

Still, I feel guilty for not doing more this cycle. I had a margarita at dinner last night, and there is a lot of beer in the refrigerator, waiting for me as soon as a BFN is confirmed. But I guess I won’t indulge until I’m sure. It’s just a few more days anyway… I’m supposed to go in for a blood test in exactly one week, if I haven’t gotten a positive pregnancy test or my period by then.

In the meantime, our computer system has gone down at work, so there’s very little to do for most of the day today. All the things I need to accomplish have to wait until tomorrow… Very frustrating.

Anyway, I would be overjoyed for a BFP, of course. It just doesn’t feel like it’s going to happen this time. I guess there’s always next month. While this is only our second attempt this year, it’s my sixth attempt, total. The odds are supposed to be 20% - 1 out of 5 – for each try. Albeit, that’s for young, healthy women who don’t have diminished reserve… but still. It feels like I’m going to have to try way more times than the average woman. And that’s IF it ever even works. *sigh*