5WK6D – Still Hanging In There

So the spotting was almost gone yesterday morning, and I haven’t had any today. Four more days to go until the ultrasound! I swear this has been the longest week of my entire life, and I really, really can’t wait to get a glimpse of what’s actually happening inside.

Yesterday I was hit with strong fatigue, just a tiny bit of nausea. So far today, though, my energy levels have been pretty good, moodiness is gone – feeling much more upbeat and optimistic. It could have something to do with my dreams last night, in which we brought home a baby boy and I was learning to diaper him for the first time (and he projectile-pooped across the room into a bookcase, which Kaitlin thought was horrible and I thought was hilarious.) It was a pretty vivid and very nice dream, and I guess I woke up feeling certain that this baby’s going to be joining our family.

I am still having major blood pressure issues, especially at home where we don’t have air conditioning, and especially when I stand up fast or remain standing for more than about a minute while I’m trying to clean the kitchen or wipe counters or whatever. I get dizzy, have tunnel vision and my ears start ringing. Luckily I’ve passed out enough times from my low blood pressure issues that I know what it feels like and what the threshold is, so I basically just stop and bend over or sit down when it’s getting to the I’m-going-to-keel-over phase.

I realized last night that if we hadn’t lost our baby in January, I’d be around eight months pregnant now. I imagine the blood pressure issues would probably be one heck of a lot worse if I were hugely pregnant during the hottest part of the year. Mind you, I am still really sad that we didn’t get to keep our January baby. But… I guess there’s a silver lining to every cloud, yeah?

I took my third “extra” dose of progesterone last night. Since the spotting appears to be clearing up, I’m going to go back to my regular dosage today and keep fingers crossed. Still planning on spending the weekend mostly loafing, though I might dare a little bit of sweeping or kitchen cleaning if I have the energy… we’ll see.

I am getting increasingly certain that I am starting a baby bump already. I’ve apparently gained around a pound or so in the last couple of weeks, and it seems like things are rearranging themselves into my belly – it hangs lower and folds down over my pubic bone in a way that it never did before, and it just feels bloatier and more sticking-out-there. I haven’t been eating more than usual… if anything I’ve actually been eating healthier. But I have spent weeks avoiding  any sort of meaningful physical activity, so I wonder if that has something to do with it? I also haven’t been using my abs to walk, sit up straight, and so on like I usually do. But I googled it and there are a lot of ladies with pictures of 6-week baby bumps, so I am going to assume that’s what it is. I guess I’ll just have to get over it, since it will be getting a lot “worse” before it gets better. :P But it does make me determined to start exercising as soon as it’s safe, and to come up with a good plan to get my body back into nice condition after baby arrives – I already can’t wear my usual pants to work, they’re too tight and uncomfortable!

Four more days and counting…