IVF#1 8DP5DT - OMG I think it may have worked...

So I'm trying not to get too excited here, but just look at this:




Just this morning I was up in the wee hours of the morning feeling horribly certain it hadn't worked this time either. Yesterday poor Kaitlin had to hold me for a bit while I cried after getting a stark white negative test. I even made some pretty pouty posts on the NorthWest TTC forums about how discouraged I was feeling.


I put off testing until this evening because I needed some time to regroup. And I tested, sort of haphazardly, fully expecting it to be negative again. Instead, there seemed to be a faint second line. Excited, I showed it to Kaitlin, and admired it for a while, and lamented the fact that I hadn't kept the little cup full of pee so now I had to wait until I needed to pee again before I could doublecheck - and somehow in all the excitement I dropped the tiny test stick and it slid under my desk in the office and vanished. My desk is enormous and too heavy even for Kaitlin and I to move together.  So the test was lost forever, and I was left feeling like maybe I'd just imagined the entire thing.


I waited, and waited, and had some soup for dinner, and started to feel crampy. I still feel crampy - like period-is-coming kind of cramps. Since I don't want to mess with any of my meds I'm staying away from the painkillers and trying to soothe the discomfort with a heat back on my tummy. Finally I had to pee again, so this time I kept the little cup full and tried another test - and saw that second line again. (It's the little test on the bottom in the picture above.)


So I made Kaitlin pause the show we were watching and drive me to the drug store for fancier pregnancy tests. She teased me the whole way and insisted on driving SUPER SLOOOOOOOW. Grrrr. But I got home, used two of the tests, and... well, just look.


I think I'm pregnant.


I think it worked.


I can barely wrap my brain around this. The lines are super faint, especially the ClearBlue one, but they ARE there. I'll be testing again tomorrow. And where I was kind of dreading Christmas Eve, I suddenly absolutely cannot wait. I could be having a baby... or TWO. Eeeep!


I know it's still really early. I know a lot of things could still happen. But to finally see those two lines, after a year of putting absolutely everything into trying -- it feels like a miracle. A dream I hope I don't wake up from.


PLEASE LET THIS BE IT, UNIVERSE. <3