Okay, back at the hotel after the embryo transfer.
We did have another long wait in the waiting room, both before and after the transfer, but I guess I am better prepared for the wait times now since they didn't seem nearly so difficult as the first cycle (or maybe it's just that I'm not jet lagged anymore, LOL)
So, the doctor did stop to see us pre-transfer this time, unlike round #2. And, though we have 3 day embryos this round, he was really pretty excited... Said we had four and he was going to use them all. If that had happened on the first or even the second round I probably would have panicked. Instead, I only got bug eyed for a few minutes before thinking what the hell. It's just a sign that this is, indeed, our month. So we went upstairs, I changed onto the little plastic booties and cotton gown thing, and they were nice and let Kaitlin into the procedure room with me. Maybe it's just because she was there, I don't know, but it seems like it was a lot less uncomfortable than transfer #2. Also, the doctor asked for a special catheter for me, and then paused in the middle of the procedure ( leaning a little on one of my knees as he did) and explained that he had invented this particular catheter some 20 years ago, and when he went to Cornell in the U.S. he ran into a doctor who was very excited to show him this fancy catheter they were using for curved cervixes like mine, and he had to tell the guy he knew all about it seeing as how he was the one who'd come up with it to start with.
It was kind of awkward and calming at the same time, actually, that he paused mid-procedure to tell us all that... It did actually make me feel more relaxed, oddly, though it was a little strange to be having a conversation with a guy who had various bits of metal and plastic holding my nether regions open. :p but anyway, the whole thing took like three minutes and it was done. Got rolled back out to the gurney room for my hour of laying down, and talked for a little while with a lovely woman from London (I think she may have been of Indian descent, though she had the prettiest British accent). Finally finished with that, went downstairs, waited a while longer for what is basically the exit interview with the nurse and doctor. Only had to pay another 13 euro for medication, because I'd given her a count of all the meds I still had and she said it would be all I needed.
And then we took a taxi back to the hotel, and I am currently lying down for my bed rest after sending Kaitlin to go get food, as I am starving.
And that's that, folks. The TWW begins again! I feel peaceful about it, at least for now, as if it really is a done deal and this one is going to work. Our test date is August 1, but I'll probably start POAS-ing around 6DP3DT... So like, next Sunday. It's the equivalent of 9DPO, so highly unlikely anything will show up by then, but I like to start early so as to hopefully know as soon as is humanly possible.
We fly home tomorrow. I took Wednesday off, both to recover from jet lag and to go pick up my puppy from my mom... Will probably unpack and such too.
Four. Surely four will do the trick this time...
Showing posts with label Greece. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Greece. Show all posts
Monday, July 20, 2015
Sunday, July 19, 2015
IVF#3 CD 23 - D-day
Woke up at about 4:30 to pee and can't go back to sleep. Guess I'm too excited about the transfer today. It is, after all, the whole reason we're here... For the third time.... And I really want this to finally be the one. This is going to be the one.
Yesterday we walked to the mall near our hotel and scoped out the food options for today. Ate some of the best Italian food I've ever had in my life, and took the leftovers back for dinner. Spent a little time cooling off in the pool, showered, watched a movie, ate dinner and went to bed around 9. That could be why I'm up so early now, too.
Our transfer is at 9 am, so basically we're getting up & dressed, eating breakfast, and taking the assortment of trains and metro needed to get to my doctors office. Don't know how long it will take, but once it's done we'll be taking a taxi back, and then it's bed rest for me the rest of the day.
so in a few hours I will be pregnant, and I just have to hope I stay that way long enough to get to meet our little one(s) in person. 60% odds aren't bad. And something like 75% of women are successful after three tries. Begging the universe to let it be me this time...
More updates later.
Yesterday we walked to the mall near our hotel and scoped out the food options for today. Ate some of the best Italian food I've ever had in my life, and took the leftovers back for dinner. Spent a little time cooling off in the pool, showered, watched a movie, ate dinner and went to bed around 9. That could be why I'm up so early now, too.
Our transfer is at 9 am, so basically we're getting up & dressed, eating breakfast, and taking the assortment of trains and metro needed to get to my doctors office. Don't know how long it will take, but once it's done we'll be taking a taxi back, and then it's bed rest for me the rest of the day.
so in a few hours I will be pregnant, and I just have to hope I stay that way long enough to get to meet our little one(s) in person. 60% odds aren't bad. And something like 75% of women are successful after three tries. Begging the universe to let it be me this time...
More updates later.
Saturday, July 18, 2015
IVF#3 CD22 - One More Sleep
The three-day transfer thing has me a little weirded out. All of the internet's oh-so-helpful charts would insist that chances aren't as good with three day embryos. And when I went back and looked at my blog entries from my last trip, I am suspicious whether I actually had 5-day embryos last time. If they didn't do fertilization until the final lining ultrasound, the the embryos would have been three-day last time too. Some clinics on the internet swear by the three day, most swear by five. I am sure that my first transfer, the one where I got pregnant, was a five day, because they scanned me on a Monday and I had the transfer on a Friday. I also get the impression that my Greek doctor may not understand the relevance of the 3day vs 5 day transfer question, when I've asked him. Maybe for him they're interchangeable? Or maybe they really did do the fertilization a couple days before my scan last time? Maybe the last two really were five day, and they're switching it up this time to see if it helps? Maybe it REALLY DOESN'T MATTER???
I don't know.
Anyway, yesterday after breakfast we went downtown and I sat in a (hot) garden for a couple hours while Kaitlin went to the coin museum she really wanted to see. Then we had lunch, and I introduced her to the yogurt bebap thing that was so yummy last time- she loved it too. We walked around a little and then went back to the hotel for rest and to watch a movie. We were smart this time, and bought sandwiches and fruit to take back to the room with us for dinner so we wouldn't be starving OR have to spend a fortune at the hotel restaurant.
Today is a loafing day. Eating breakfast now, will probably watch movies and hang out by the pool most of the day. We do have to go out at some point to get food though, probably to the mall nearby. We haven't taken nearly as many pictures this time around either, I guess because with each repeated visit Athens starts feeling more like our own backyard, as if we've merely gone downtown for a few days. :P
Tomorrow is D-day, for better or worse, followed by even more hard-core loafing. I still just keep trying to repeat to myself that we're picking up our baby tomorrow. It has more of a "done-deal" feel to it, though uncertainty is hard to push down right now. Kaitlin keeps telling me to get off the internet. :P She's probably right. Nothing online is going to make my chances better or worse, other than making me nervous. LOL.
Well, anyway, one more sleep till our baby is in me... My biggest job right now is to take my meds, hydrate, relax, and show up to the doctor's office on time. I can do that, right? Not so hard. The rest is up to the doctor, the embryologist, and ultimately, the embryos themselves. Come on, little babies... You can doooo eeet!!
I don't know.
Anyway, yesterday after breakfast we went downtown and I sat in a (hot) garden for a couple hours while Kaitlin went to the coin museum she really wanted to see. Then we had lunch, and I introduced her to the yogurt bebap thing that was so yummy last time- she loved it too. We walked around a little and then went back to the hotel for rest and to watch a movie. We were smart this time, and bought sandwiches and fruit to take back to the room with us for dinner so we wouldn't be starving OR have to spend a fortune at the hotel restaurant.
Today is a loafing day. Eating breakfast now, will probably watch movies and hang out by the pool most of the day. We do have to go out at some point to get food though, probably to the mall nearby. We haven't taken nearly as many pictures this time around either, I guess because with each repeated visit Athens starts feeling more like our own backyard, as if we've merely gone downtown for a few days. :P
Tomorrow is D-day, for better or worse, followed by even more hard-core loafing. I still just keep trying to repeat to myself that we're picking up our baby tomorrow. It has more of a "done-deal" feel to it, though uncertainty is hard to push down right now. Kaitlin keeps telling me to get off the internet. :P She's probably right. Nothing online is going to make my chances better or worse, other than making me nervous. LOL.
Well, anyway, one more sleep till our baby is in me... My biggest job right now is to take my meds, hydrate, relax, and show up to the doctor's office on time. I can do that, right? Not so hard. The rest is up to the doctor, the embryologist, and ultimately, the embryos themselves. Come on, little babies... You can doooo eeet!!
Friday, July 17, 2015
IVF#3 CD 21 - Back in Athens
Jet lag is hitting pretty hard this time around, so I haven't had it in me to blog yet. But anyway, we wrapped things up at home, got my dog to my mom's, caught a ride with a friend to the airport, made it through transfers to Philly and Paris before hitting Athens, and then took the metro, suburban railway, and walking to our hotel. Long trip...
First thing we did after arriving was go for a swim in the hotel pool. I still have some water in my ear (annoying!) then yesterday we went to Embio for an ultrasound. doc says my lining is 10mm with the right striations, so they were going to do fertilization that day and the embryo transfer will be on Monday at 9 am. Means we're apparently having a 3 day transfer this time, where the others have been 5 day. Not sure whether this is a good thing or a bad one?? I guess, since the other two haven't worked, that it's maybe one of the few things we can do to change it up and try something different for success. The nurse reiterated there's a 60% chance of success. I think I'm just hoping, if we have to do a three day transfer, that we have three embryos again this time. I'm not going to say a word to the doc about limiting it to two, not this time. I just want a sticky BFP once and for all.
I was doing well with my optimism and positive thinking up to this point, but it's getting harder to hold on to as D-day approaches. Hard not to think about how much I need this one to work, or how long it will be before we'll have another shot at it if it doesn't. Also, the meds contribute a lot to moodiness and general discomfort... I've been nauseous for the past four or five days now, and the peeing every ten seconds has resumed, so it's harder to stay cheerful and confident when feeling crummy before there's even an embryo in there!
Still, I know lots of people get positive results on a three day transfer. There might even be a chance at having some embies to freeze. Maybe perhaps?? The doc didn't mention that so I'm not really counting on it, but I do know that we haven't had any the last two times so who knows.
Today Kaitlin wants to go downtown to see the ancient coin museum. Then I think we'll probably grab lunch and some take-back-to-the-hotel snacks in Monastiraki, since we're having to watch our budget very closely this round and so last night had to make our somewhat expensive pizza stretch into two meals... I woke up starving and hit the breakfast buffet as soon as it opened.
Anyway, because Monday is transfer day, and we fly home Tuesday, basically we're going to have the transfer, go back to the hotel for bed rest the rest of the day, and then I am putting Kaitlin in charge of getting us home (calling taxis, pulling luggage, getting us from one place to the next, administering shots.) I am going to do nothing whatsoever, because the point is to be as relaxed and rested as possible for the next few days. But, the three day transfer means I probably wouldn't get a positive HPT until the following weekend, at the earliest... So the TWW may be a couple days longer than it's been in the past.
Just have to keep telling myself that this one is going to work.
By the way, a Facebook meme I took today says that I am destined to have one child, a boy. I'd be delighted if it came true. Because as we all know, Facebook never lies. :P
First thing we did after arriving was go for a swim in the hotel pool. I still have some water in my ear (annoying!) then yesterday we went to Embio for an ultrasound. doc says my lining is 10mm with the right striations, so they were going to do fertilization that day and the embryo transfer will be on Monday at 9 am. Means we're apparently having a 3 day transfer this time, where the others have been 5 day. Not sure whether this is a good thing or a bad one?? I guess, since the other two haven't worked, that it's maybe one of the few things we can do to change it up and try something different for success. The nurse reiterated there's a 60% chance of success. I think I'm just hoping, if we have to do a three day transfer, that we have three embryos again this time. I'm not going to say a word to the doc about limiting it to two, not this time. I just want a sticky BFP once and for all.
I was doing well with my optimism and positive thinking up to this point, but it's getting harder to hold on to as D-day approaches. Hard not to think about how much I need this one to work, or how long it will be before we'll have another shot at it if it doesn't. Also, the meds contribute a lot to moodiness and general discomfort... I've been nauseous for the past four or five days now, and the peeing every ten seconds has resumed, so it's harder to stay cheerful and confident when feeling crummy before there's even an embryo in there!
Still, I know lots of people get positive results on a three day transfer. There might even be a chance at having some embies to freeze. Maybe perhaps?? The doc didn't mention that so I'm not really counting on it, but I do know that we haven't had any the last two times so who knows.
Today Kaitlin wants to go downtown to see the ancient coin museum. Then I think we'll probably grab lunch and some take-back-to-the-hotel snacks in Monastiraki, since we're having to watch our budget very closely this round and so last night had to make our somewhat expensive pizza stretch into two meals... I woke up starving and hit the breakfast buffet as soon as it opened.
Anyway, because Monday is transfer day, and we fly home Tuesday, basically we're going to have the transfer, go back to the hotel for bed rest the rest of the day, and then I am putting Kaitlin in charge of getting us home (calling taxis, pulling luggage, getting us from one place to the next, administering shots.) I am going to do nothing whatsoever, because the point is to be as relaxed and rested as possible for the next few days. But, the three day transfer means I probably wouldn't get a positive HPT until the following weekend, at the earliest... So the TWW may be a couple days longer than it's been in the past.
Just have to keep telling myself that this one is going to work.
By the way, a Facebook meme I took today says that I am destined to have one child, a boy. I'd be delighted if it came true. Because as we all know, Facebook never lies. :P
Monday, July 13, 2015
IVF#3 CD16 - Almost Ready To Leave
As I told Kaitlin this morning, just two more sleeps until we're on our way to pick up our baby. :P
Over the weekend we did some household chore type things - cleaned catboxes, did laundry, and spent an entire day cleaning half the kitchen. Also made a packing list, and packed everything that it's possible to pack early.
Today, I had to set up the USForEx funds transfer (done first thing in the morning), email my doctor's office for continued medication instructions (also done first thing), then go to the bank on my lunch break and wire the funds to USForEx (done) and go to the store for cat litter and toothpaste (also done.) Still on the list for this evening: I have to package up the little doll outfit that sold on Etsy, and make a little pack for my dog so that she'll have supplies during her stay at my mom's house.
I also, somewhere in there, need to order more copies of my latest book so I can send one to my mom and one to a contest winner; and, I need to order more pregnancy tests so that I can POAS to my heart's content when we get back from Greece.
This afternoon, Kaitlin has a dentist appointment to get the cap on one of her teeth fixed. Also, I got instructions from my doctor to begin taking 5 estrogen pills a day from today through Wednesday. Wednesday will also be our last Lupron injection; no injection on Thursday, instead we're increasing estrogen to 6 pills/day and adding 4 200mg Progesterone/day. Heparin starts after the transfer (ugh...)
Tomorrow, Kaitlin's going to get home from work, make us some sandwiches, and bring sandwiches, dog, and dog pack down to my work, where she'll pick me up. Then we have to drive together down to my mom's house, drop dog off, and drive home.
Wednesday morning we'll have to get up early, finish packing, get dressed, make sure the cats have clean boxes and plenty of water, and I think we have a friend taking us to the airport. Plane takes off at 11, and from then on it's just traveling, getting to the hotel, and getting to the doctor's office at 11 on Friday for an ultrasound.
This is going to be it, right? I feel like it will be.
In the meantime, this was on my Facebook feed today.
Over the weekend we did some household chore type things - cleaned catboxes, did laundry, and spent an entire day cleaning half the kitchen. Also made a packing list, and packed everything that it's possible to pack early.
Today, I had to set up the USForEx funds transfer (done first thing in the morning), email my doctor's office for continued medication instructions (also done first thing), then go to the bank on my lunch break and wire the funds to USForEx (done) and go to the store for cat litter and toothpaste (also done.) Still on the list for this evening: I have to package up the little doll outfit that sold on Etsy, and make a little pack for my dog so that she'll have supplies during her stay at my mom's house.
I also, somewhere in there, need to order more copies of my latest book so I can send one to my mom and one to a contest winner; and, I need to order more pregnancy tests so that I can POAS to my heart's content when we get back from Greece.
This afternoon, Kaitlin has a dentist appointment to get the cap on one of her teeth fixed. Also, I got instructions from my doctor to begin taking 5 estrogen pills a day from today through Wednesday. Wednesday will also be our last Lupron injection; no injection on Thursday, instead we're increasing estrogen to 6 pills/day and adding 4 200mg Progesterone/day. Heparin starts after the transfer (ugh...)
Tomorrow, Kaitlin's going to get home from work, make us some sandwiches, and bring sandwiches, dog, and dog pack down to my work, where she'll pick me up. Then we have to drive together down to my mom's house, drop dog off, and drive home.
Wednesday morning we'll have to get up early, finish packing, get dressed, make sure the cats have clean boxes and plenty of water, and I think we have a friend taking us to the airport. Plane takes off at 11, and from then on it's just traveling, getting to the hotel, and getting to the doctor's office at 11 on Friday for an ultrasound.
This is going to be it, right? I feel like it will be.
In the meantime, this was on my Facebook feed today.
Thursday, July 9, 2015
IVF#3 CD12 - We Have Travel Dates
Got an email back from Embio this morning, saying that they expect the embryo transfer will be sometime between the 17th and the 20th... so I bought our plane tickets. It takes two days to get to Greece, just one to get home, because of the time difference. We're leaving at about 11 AM on Wednesday the 15th, arriving at about 4:30 PM on Thursday the 16th, with a 3 hour layover in Paris. On the way home we'll head out at around 11 AM and be home by 9:30 PM on Tuesday the 21st. I've asked for the 22nd off of work too, so that there will be plenty of time to do bed rest before going back to work.
Since the hotel I wanted was sold out I found another one that does have a nice outdoor pool, and the reviews say that the food is good and the wifi signal is free and accessible from the rooms. That's pretty much all I really want - oh, and the beds don't look super hard, at least not in the pictures. I'm learning that those European hotels really seem to like rock-hard mattresses, ugh. So this time around we're staying at the Civitel Attik Rooms and Apartments. We're also flying on American Airlines/US Airways instead of Delta, which I'm kind of happy about. I haven't had the best experience with Delta, particularly during my last trip... so it's nice to see what a different airline has to offer. (And best of all, NO LAYOVER AT JFK. I'm really happy about that.)
So here we go, I guess... Now begins the whirlwind. I have four business days left to get a work coverage plan together and get all of my work caught up and arranged before I leave. I have one weekend to finish cleaning projects and pack. And somewhere in there, I have to get the 4500 Euro wired to Embio's Swiss bank. In the meantime, taking my estrogen and Lupron and waiting for further medication instructions.
Now back to work... so much to do, so little time!
Since the hotel I wanted was sold out I found another one that does have a nice outdoor pool, and the reviews say that the food is good and the wifi signal is free and accessible from the rooms. That's pretty much all I really want - oh, and the beds don't look super hard, at least not in the pictures. I'm learning that those European hotels really seem to like rock-hard mattresses, ugh. So this time around we're staying at the Civitel Attik Rooms and Apartments. We're also flying on American Airlines/US Airways instead of Delta, which I'm kind of happy about. I haven't had the best experience with Delta, particularly during my last trip... so it's nice to see what a different airline has to offer. (And best of all, NO LAYOVER AT JFK. I'm really happy about that.)
So here we go, I guess... Now begins the whirlwind. I have four business days left to get a work coverage plan together and get all of my work caught up and arranged before I leave. I have one weekend to finish cleaning projects and pack. And somewhere in there, I have to get the 4500 Euro wired to Embio's Swiss bank. In the meantime, taking my estrogen and Lupron and waiting for further medication instructions.
Now back to work... so much to do, so little time!
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
IVF#3 CD11 - Getting Closer
Had my second ultrasound of the cycle today. Lining is up to 7.1 mm. It was 7.4 at the second scan last cycle, so that makes me pretty convinced we'll end up in Greece next week. I sent the results off to Embio and am waiting for their response. I'm going to shoot for being there for another week... while I don't like taking so much time off of work, ultrasounds cost me over $300 here, and yet are free there. I can save $300 just by arriving a little early and hanging out until the transfer date. I also think it's a good way to relax and unwind before the transfer. And, while I don't like being away from work for so long, it's not like I don't have a TON of leave hours. ^^;
So, waiting for travel dates. SUPER grateful that Embio's bank account, where I wire my treatment payments, is in Switzerland and not Greece, because the foreign exchange service I'm using is currently unable to send any money to Greek banks. We have to make sure we take enough cash in Euros to be able to feed ourselves, pay for meds, and pay for taxis while we're there, since it sounds like all their ATMs are pretty much out of service.
I'm a little bummed because the hotel I was hoping to stay at has sold out. I really wanted to stay at a hotel with a pool this time around, because it's going to be blazing hot. I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to swim after the transfer, but that doesn't mean I can't hang by the pool and put my feet in the water. :P Still, if it's going to be ridiculously expensive I'll probably have to just suck it up and stay wherever is most economical. We won't really know what our options are until we know our travel dates, though.
Still feeling good about this cycle... and I've been able to pretty much successfully keep myself thinking positive, which is not an easy feat, let me tell you. :P But I've been preoccupying myself with Korean drama and thoughts of our "It's A Small World" nursery (I actually bounced out of bed this morning and chattered Kaitlin's ear off about it as she was trying to get ready for work, LOL.)
Kaitlin was off at an event all last weekend, and I had a three-day weekend because of the holiday. And how, you may ask, did I decide to spend all this luxurious free time? Why, CLEANING. Yeah. For THREE DAYS. I scrubbed and swept and mopped and wiped and reorganized and sorted until every bone in my body was exhausted. And while there are still a couple rooms in the house I haven't gotten to yet, the nice, neat, clean rooms is really making me happy. I've been making Kaitlin keep it nice, too, for the past few days. :P This weekend I'll be enlisting her help to do the same with the kitchen and the office.
I also came up with some healthy, balanced lunch-snack-packs for her to grab and take with her to work in the morning... which will hopefully result in her ingesting a greater number of vegetables in her daily diet. :P And with my car and my house clean, and my little fridge at work full of salad and veggies and healthy stuff, and my desk at work pretty clear, I am feeling lovely about life at the moment. I can't wait to get to Greece, pick up our babies and bring them home. <3 We're ready.
So next on the babymaking schedule is to get travel dates, request time off work, buy plane tickets and hotel reservations, get cash to take with us, wire the treatment fee to Embio before we go, and pack. In the meantime, nightly Lupron shots and estrogen during the day... and stop Lupron / start progesterone once the doc says to. Then we travel out there, get a scan, hang out for a couple days, do the transfer, start heparin (of all of it that's the part I hate most), hang out on bed rest for as long as possible, come home... and wait for that second pink line to show up on a pregnancy test.
This being our third round, all this insanity is actually starting to feel kind of routine. As if it's no big deal to plunk down a few thousand dollars and fly halfway round the globe on a few days' notice. I was thinking this morning how amazing it is that we can leave Denver and arrive in Athens in the same amount of time that it would take to drive from Denver to Portland, or Denver to Austin. And once you've gone to the same "exotic" faraway city several times, it starts feeling familiar, as if it's really not THAT far away after all. It really is a small world, after all. *insert groans of cheesiness here*
Bracing myself for the insanity of progesterone. Now that we've been around the block a few times I think I've figured out that while Lupron gives me hot flashes and insomnia, and estrogen can make me moody, it's the darned progesterone that really turns me into a crazy person. Combined with the uncertainty of the TWW and nightly nasty fat-needle heparin shots, I wear down so fast while I'm on it. I think a little more self-awareness may help this time around - at least I hope it will. I'm going to remind myself that all the negativity and anxiety and panic and stress isn't actually me, it's the meds. And that I've got this. No matter what happens with this roll of the dice, I've got this. Everything's going to be okay.
One way or another, there will come a day when we are moms.
Bring it on.
So, waiting for travel dates. SUPER grateful that Embio's bank account, where I wire my treatment payments, is in Switzerland and not Greece, because the foreign exchange service I'm using is currently unable to send any money to Greek banks. We have to make sure we take enough cash in Euros to be able to feed ourselves, pay for meds, and pay for taxis while we're there, since it sounds like all their ATMs are pretty much out of service.
I'm a little bummed because the hotel I was hoping to stay at has sold out. I really wanted to stay at a hotel with a pool this time around, because it's going to be blazing hot. I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to swim after the transfer, but that doesn't mean I can't hang by the pool and put my feet in the water. :P Still, if it's going to be ridiculously expensive I'll probably have to just suck it up and stay wherever is most economical. We won't really know what our options are until we know our travel dates, though.
Still feeling good about this cycle... and I've been able to pretty much successfully keep myself thinking positive, which is not an easy feat, let me tell you. :P But I've been preoccupying myself with Korean drama and thoughts of our "It's A Small World" nursery (I actually bounced out of bed this morning and chattered Kaitlin's ear off about it as she was trying to get ready for work, LOL.)
Kaitlin was off at an event all last weekend, and I had a three-day weekend because of the holiday. And how, you may ask, did I decide to spend all this luxurious free time? Why, CLEANING. Yeah. For THREE DAYS. I scrubbed and swept and mopped and wiped and reorganized and sorted until every bone in my body was exhausted. And while there are still a couple rooms in the house I haven't gotten to yet, the nice, neat, clean rooms is really making me happy. I've been making Kaitlin keep it nice, too, for the past few days. :P This weekend I'll be enlisting her help to do the same with the kitchen and the office.
I also came up with some healthy, balanced lunch-snack-packs for her to grab and take with her to work in the morning... which will hopefully result in her ingesting a greater number of vegetables in her daily diet. :P And with my car and my house clean, and my little fridge at work full of salad and veggies and healthy stuff, and my desk at work pretty clear, I am feeling lovely about life at the moment. I can't wait to get to Greece, pick up our babies and bring them home. <3 We're ready.
So next on the babymaking schedule is to get travel dates, request time off work, buy plane tickets and hotel reservations, get cash to take with us, wire the treatment fee to Embio before we go, and pack. In the meantime, nightly Lupron shots and estrogen during the day... and stop Lupron / start progesterone once the doc says to. Then we travel out there, get a scan, hang out for a couple days, do the transfer, start heparin (of all of it that's the part I hate most), hang out on bed rest for as long as possible, come home... and wait for that second pink line to show up on a pregnancy test.
This being our third round, all this insanity is actually starting to feel kind of routine. As if it's no big deal to plunk down a few thousand dollars and fly halfway round the globe on a few days' notice. I was thinking this morning how amazing it is that we can leave Denver and arrive in Athens in the same amount of time that it would take to drive from Denver to Portland, or Denver to Austin. And once you've gone to the same "exotic" faraway city several times, it starts feeling familiar, as if it's really not THAT far away after all. It really is a small world, after all. *insert groans of cheesiness here*
Bracing myself for the insanity of progesterone. Now that we've been around the block a few times I think I've figured out that while Lupron gives me hot flashes and insomnia, and estrogen can make me moody, it's the darned progesterone that really turns me into a crazy person. Combined with the uncertainty of the TWW and nightly nasty fat-needle heparin shots, I wear down so fast while I'm on it. I think a little more self-awareness may help this time around - at least I hope it will. I'm going to remind myself that all the negativity and anxiety and panic and stress isn't actually me, it's the meds. And that I've got this. No matter what happens with this roll of the dice, I've got this. Everything's going to be okay.
One way or another, there will come a day when we are moms.
Bring it on.
Thursday, July 2, 2015
IVF#3 CD5 - This Will Be Our Month
I've been avoiding blogging much lately. It's too easy, when I'm actively blogging, to be reminded of all the unfulfilled hope we've encountered so far... too easy to focus on unknowns and start angsting. I've been trying something different this time around, and every time an "is this round going to fail too" thought comes into my head, I've been repeating "this one will work, this one will work.". To the point where I kind of actually believe it.
The odds are way, way in our favor at this point. Our clinic has a 70% success rate - it worked the first time, but we miscarried. It didn't work the second time. Statistics say this should be the one. And things this round are going a lot more similarly to our first round, where we got SO close. For the second round I was on Lupron for ages before finally getting permission to start the estrogen. But this time, I've only been on it for eleven days, and they're having me start estrace today. I just have a better feeling about it, overall.
So here's a sum-up since my last post: We started Lupron on the 21st. Compared to the heparin shots, the lupron is actually pretty painless (in spite of my ongoing fear of needles.) My period started on the 28th, later than I expected. I had an ultrasound on the 30th (CD3) and my lining is just over 5mm. The doctor in Greece says that's good, so as of today I start the estrogen regimen - one pill for two days, two pills for two days, three pills for three days, and then four pills until transfer - usually another 4-5 days out. I have to go in for another ultrasound on 7/8, next Wednesday.
Though they don't have exact travel dates yet, that puts us in Greece around the second/third week of July -- that's in two weeks! And I just keep telling myself that we're going to Greece to pick up our babies and bring them home. That this one is going to be our month. Due date would be in April - I like that.
I went to the baby shower that I was nervous about. I think the best way to describe how I felt being there was happy and wistful. I did get to hold the tiny baby, who was so sweet and precious, and my friend asked whether we were going to be trying for a baby soon. I managed not to launch a huge me-me-me conversation (I think) so yay for that. :P And other than twinges of envy over the cute nursery and precious baby, I was actually pretty darn okay - happy to be there, to get to hold the baby and share in my friends' joy for their newborn. I had a good time AND my friend even suggested, when she handed me her baby to hold for a little bit, that he would be a good luck charm for us. ♥ Here's hoping!
We've been saving HARD and will have just JUST enough for this third attempt without having to float much on a credit card, I think. I've decided that if my intuition is wrong and this isn't it for us either, I'll be spending the next six months or so, while we save up for another go, on SlimFast and the Couch to 5K program, to try and drop the 15 pounds or so that I've gained over the last two years from all the meds. I know I'll feel better, overall, if I can get my body back into shape during the break - the weight gain certainly hasn't helped when it comes to the frustrations of this whole process.
In the meantime, though, my name change has been submitted at work and I'm just waiting for a new email, new network login, etc. so I can announce it to pretty much everybody and start using it. I won't change it on my passport, bank account or credit cards until after we get back from Greece, though, since I don't want there to be any issues while we're traveling.
And of course I can't not mention that last Friday, 6/26/15, the Supreme Court mandated that all of the United States MUST allow same-sex couples to marry. Colorado has already been issuing licenses for about six months, but this is just huge. Our plan was always to elope after I got pregnant, and after the baby was born spend a little time saving up (and I could get back into wedding-dress shape) so we could throw a wedding. But if this next round doesn't work, I think we'll probably talk about doing the elopement anyway - it won't be nearly as expensive, I don't think, if we don't travel out of state for it. And then Kaitlin can change her name too ^~ Not to mention the medical benefits!
It's good to have a contingency plan. But for now I'm going to keep chanting it: This Will Be Our Month. This Will Be Our Month. I even wrote it on a bit of paper and taped it to my computer monitor at work ...
The odds are way, way in our favor at this point. Our clinic has a 70% success rate - it worked the first time, but we miscarried. It didn't work the second time. Statistics say this should be the one. And things this round are going a lot more similarly to our first round, where we got SO close. For the second round I was on Lupron for ages before finally getting permission to start the estrogen. But this time, I've only been on it for eleven days, and they're having me start estrace today. I just have a better feeling about it, overall.
So here's a sum-up since my last post: We started Lupron on the 21st. Compared to the heparin shots, the lupron is actually pretty painless (in spite of my ongoing fear of needles.) My period started on the 28th, later than I expected. I had an ultrasound on the 30th (CD3) and my lining is just over 5mm. The doctor in Greece says that's good, so as of today I start the estrogen regimen - one pill for two days, two pills for two days, three pills for three days, and then four pills until transfer - usually another 4-5 days out. I have to go in for another ultrasound on 7/8, next Wednesday.
Though they don't have exact travel dates yet, that puts us in Greece around the second/third week of July -- that's in two weeks! And I just keep telling myself that we're going to Greece to pick up our babies and bring them home. That this one is going to be our month. Due date would be in April - I like that.
I went to the baby shower that I was nervous about. I think the best way to describe how I felt being there was happy and wistful. I did get to hold the tiny baby, who was so sweet and precious, and my friend asked whether we were going to be trying for a baby soon. I managed not to launch a huge me-me-me conversation (I think) so yay for that. :P And other than twinges of envy over the cute nursery and precious baby, I was actually pretty darn okay - happy to be there, to get to hold the baby and share in my friends' joy for their newborn. I had a good time AND my friend even suggested, when she handed me her baby to hold for a little bit, that he would be a good luck charm for us. ♥ Here's hoping!
We've been saving HARD and will have just JUST enough for this third attempt without having to float much on a credit card, I think. I've decided that if my intuition is wrong and this isn't it for us either, I'll be spending the next six months or so, while we save up for another go, on SlimFast and the Couch to 5K program, to try and drop the 15 pounds or so that I've gained over the last two years from all the meds. I know I'll feel better, overall, if I can get my body back into shape during the break - the weight gain certainly hasn't helped when it comes to the frustrations of this whole process.
In the meantime, though, my name change has been submitted at work and I'm just waiting for a new email, new network login, etc. so I can announce it to pretty much everybody and start using it. I won't change it on my passport, bank account or credit cards until after we get back from Greece, though, since I don't want there to be any issues while we're traveling.
And of course I can't not mention that last Friday, 6/26/15, the Supreme Court mandated that all of the United States MUST allow same-sex couples to marry. Colorado has already been issuing licenses for about six months, but this is just huge. Our plan was always to elope after I got pregnant, and after the baby was born spend a little time saving up (and I could get back into wedding-dress shape) so we could throw a wedding. But if this next round doesn't work, I think we'll probably talk about doing the elopement anyway - it won't be nearly as expensive, I don't think, if we don't travel out of state for it. And then Kaitlin can change her name too ^~ Not to mention the medical benefits!
It's good to have a contingency plan. But for now I'm going to keep chanting it: This Will Be Our Month. This Will Be Our Month. I even wrote it on a bit of paper and taped it to my computer monitor at work ...
Friday, June 19, 2015
I Would Die For That
Someone posted this song on the NorthWest Andrology forums and I basically had to close my office door and take a moment to bawl my eyes out. This is basically my heart song at the moment.
So not a whole lot of exciting updates right now. We were supposed to go hiking for my birthday, but after driving the three hours into the mountains it turned out that the trail was flooded due to all the rain and they wouldn't let us up. So we kept going into Glenwood Springs instead, and went to the Glenwood Cavern Adventure Park. It cost a lot more than what I was planning to spend on my birthday, but we did have a good time - took a cave tour, and rode a couple of the rides, and generally just acted goofy.
Also confirmed that we start Lupron on the 21st, which is this coming Sunday. Pride is this weekend, and I'll be there at a booth with my books and some of the other authors from my publishing house. It should be a good time, even if I do have to start getting shots again. I got my updated social security card, and went to the DMV last week, but haven't gotten my new driver's license in the mail yet - once that comes in I can actually start changing my name on everything, especially at work. Since work is where I spend the vast majority of my life, I think it will feel a lot more like a "real" change once I'm able to use my name there...
Anyway, we're doing okay in terms of savings for our third round. Trying to think positive... the odds are that it should really, really work this time. But it's also hard to think about what we'll do next if it doesn't. Since thinking about getting pregnant is way more fun, I'm trying to focus on dreaming about that instead. But dreaming is dangerous. *Sigh* Still, I only have two choices: spend the next few weeks anxious, or spend them excited. Neither one will have any effect on the outcome, most likely, but they'll have a big effect on our quality of life.
So, excited it is. :P
I have a baby shower to attend for a friend next weekend. I'm halfway SUPER excited, and halfway nervous. On the one hand, I get to hold a tiny baby (SQUEE) and see my friends and congratulate them. On the other (insert major selfishness) they have a baby and I don't, and I am jealous. I have a big mouth, and it's going to be really hard to not blurt out to everybody that we're trying to have a baby too and it's been so hard and expensive and taken so much time and wah, wah, wah, me, me, me when it's THEIR party for their new little family. So I'm doing my best to focus on being happy for THEM (because I am!) without making it about myself.
So yeah... that's where we're at right now. Lupron, then the start of my next AF, then another $500 ultrasound / bloodwork, then weeks more of Lupron while we wait for Embio to tell us when we should plan to be there and when the transfer date will be... waiting and waiting and more waiting...
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
IVF Barbie, Not Giving Up And Other Fun
Found this post today that made me laugh: IVF Barbie
I definitely remember being Newbie Barbie, and Joiner Barbie too. And I am reminded, as I stare down my 36th birthday this month, my pregnant friends and family, friends with newborns, and pictures of babies all over my facebook feed, that technically I haven't actually reached full on Veteran Barbie status yet. I've gained weight from all the meds - about 15 pounds - and I do have some gray hair (which I keep colored.) My poor tummy has had its moments of bruises and puncture marks so bad that it looks diseased. But in the grand scheme of things, I've got time. So many folks on various boards are 38, 40, 42 and are still trying. Even if I decided to try up until my 40th birthday I'd still have four more years of attempts left. So far I've done 4 ICIs, 3 Clomid IUIs, 3 injectable IUIs, transferred five donor embryos, made two trips to Greece, and endured one six week miscarriage. That's actually only twelve cycles, total, even if they were spread out over the course of five years. Pretty sure there are an awful lot of veteran ladies who would shake their heads at all my angst and think "Girl, you ain't seen nothing yet."
And though I eye my bank account, our budgets, and the HELOC slapped against my house, the truth is that four years is a good long time. I could pay the entire HELOC off almost twice over in that time. So if a July attempt doesn't work and we have to take a 7-8 month break, is it really that big of a deal?
The same blogger has another post that really hit home: When Is It Time To Stop Trying?
I will admit, I've had moments of "Why am I even doing this? Maybe all this failure is a sign from the universe that I am not meant to be a mom. Should I be investing this energy into acceptance of a childfree life?"
And then I feel guilty. If I'm considering giving up, then I must not want it badly enough. Quitters are just people who aren't adequately motivated, aren't they? It's hard not to believe, in my weakest and most discouraged moments, that there really is some entity outside myself - the universe, fate, God - that is actively denying me a baby. The really ironic thing is that no one's actually SAID that to me, but I have this overwhelming suspicion that if the rest of the world knew everything we'd done up to this point to try and get pregnant, they'd all be thinking it... "Sheesh, obviously you're not meant to be a mom, get over it." I am projecting my own mean little inner voice onto my friends and family, the assumption that they would all dismiss my repeated failures as God's plan for my life.
And I know that this comes from my childhood, the way that I was raised in an ultra-religious bubble and taught to be judgy and condescending and superior when others were going through crises. Must be God's plan for your life, dear, be content with it...
It's those naysaying thoughts... the idea that a higher power wants to prevent me from being a mom, combined with the guilt that entertaining that thought means I don't want this badly enough, that are probably the most powerful depressants in this whole infertility war. And they battle it out with the surviving vestiges of my NewbieBarbie self, who is still stubbornly popping up in the corner (albeit her glitter makeup is starting to look a little worse for wear) and cheerily shouting "Baby dust! Power of positive thinking! If I can do it so can you! Success stories! Pregnancy magic! Still plenty of time and money, where there's a will there's a way! Winners never quit!"
I wish there was a way I could live as NewbieBarbie. Literally choose not to acknowledge failure, to keep my eye on the prize with confidence every second of the day, spread nothing but encouragement and positivity, and live my life in between cycles with joy and carefreeness and the certainty that my baby's coming eventually. There are a few people in this world who are able to live that way. My inner judgy self usually decides they're ditzes. So unconnected with reality, maddeningly lost in fantasy, irresponsible, taking each day as it comes and never concerning themselves with how it will affect tomorrow. Romantical and ridiculous. Today I envy them. Today I think there's something I could probably learn from that kind of attitude.
In other news, my new name is now on file with the DMV. Waiting to get my social security and DMV cards in the mail, and then I can change my name here at work and on all my other stuff...
Oh, and I still haven't heard back from the Greek clinic to confirm when I'm supposed to start Lupron injections. Finally just went ahead and emailed the doctor today. Hopefully that will get me an answer...
I definitely remember being Newbie Barbie, and Joiner Barbie too. And I am reminded, as I stare down my 36th birthday this month, my pregnant friends and family, friends with newborns, and pictures of babies all over my facebook feed, that technically I haven't actually reached full on Veteran Barbie status yet. I've gained weight from all the meds - about 15 pounds - and I do have some gray hair (which I keep colored.) My poor tummy has had its moments of bruises and puncture marks so bad that it looks diseased. But in the grand scheme of things, I've got time. So many folks on various boards are 38, 40, 42 and are still trying. Even if I decided to try up until my 40th birthday I'd still have four more years of attempts left. So far I've done 4 ICIs, 3 Clomid IUIs, 3 injectable IUIs, transferred five donor embryos, made two trips to Greece, and endured one six week miscarriage. That's actually only twelve cycles, total, even if they were spread out over the course of five years. Pretty sure there are an awful lot of veteran ladies who would shake their heads at all my angst and think "Girl, you ain't seen nothing yet."
And though I eye my bank account, our budgets, and the HELOC slapped against my house, the truth is that four years is a good long time. I could pay the entire HELOC off almost twice over in that time. So if a July attempt doesn't work and we have to take a 7-8 month break, is it really that big of a deal?
The same blogger has another post that really hit home: When Is It Time To Stop Trying?
I will admit, I've had moments of "Why am I even doing this? Maybe all this failure is a sign from the universe that I am not meant to be a mom. Should I be investing this energy into acceptance of a childfree life?"
And then I feel guilty. If I'm considering giving up, then I must not want it badly enough. Quitters are just people who aren't adequately motivated, aren't they? It's hard not to believe, in my weakest and most discouraged moments, that there really is some entity outside myself - the universe, fate, God - that is actively denying me a baby. The really ironic thing is that no one's actually SAID that to me, but I have this overwhelming suspicion that if the rest of the world knew everything we'd done up to this point to try and get pregnant, they'd all be thinking it... "Sheesh, obviously you're not meant to be a mom, get over it." I am projecting my own mean little inner voice onto my friends and family, the assumption that they would all dismiss my repeated failures as God's plan for my life.
And I know that this comes from my childhood, the way that I was raised in an ultra-religious bubble and taught to be judgy and condescending and superior when others were going through crises. Must be God's plan for your life, dear, be content with it...
It's those naysaying thoughts... the idea that a higher power wants to prevent me from being a mom, combined with the guilt that entertaining that thought means I don't want this badly enough, that are probably the most powerful depressants in this whole infertility war. And they battle it out with the surviving vestiges of my NewbieBarbie self, who is still stubbornly popping up in the corner (albeit her glitter makeup is starting to look a little worse for wear) and cheerily shouting "Baby dust! Power of positive thinking! If I can do it so can you! Success stories! Pregnancy magic! Still plenty of time and money, where there's a will there's a way! Winners never quit!"
I wish there was a way I could live as NewbieBarbie. Literally choose not to acknowledge failure, to keep my eye on the prize with confidence every second of the day, spread nothing but encouragement and positivity, and live my life in between cycles with joy and carefreeness and the certainty that my baby's coming eventually. There are a few people in this world who are able to live that way. My inner judgy self usually decides they're ditzes. So unconnected with reality, maddeningly lost in fantasy, irresponsible, taking each day as it comes and never concerning themselves with how it will affect tomorrow. Romantical and ridiculous. Today I envy them. Today I think there's something I could probably learn from that kind of attitude.
In other news, my new name is now on file with the DMV. Waiting to get my social security and DMV cards in the mail, and then I can change my name here at work and on all my other stuff...
Oh, and I still haven't heard back from the Greek clinic to confirm when I'm supposed to start Lupron injections. Finally just went ahead and emailed the doctor today. Hopefully that will get me an answer...
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
My Favorite Month of the Year
Ever since I was a kid, June has always been my favorite month of the year. Probably because it's the month of my birthday... but also because it's the start of summer, my favorite season; it always meant the end of school; the weather is finally warm and sunny again; and for me it always feels like a new beginning. A New Year's, of sorts, even if it's six months later than everybody else celebrates it.
So I guess it's apropos that AF started yesterday, on June 1st, and my Lupron shipment arrived at the same time. That means we should be starting Lupron around the 21st or so of this month, and CD1 of our next cycle attempt will be around the 24th.
My birthday is next week. I love birthdays, though neither of us has money for much of anything this year. I think we'll go out to dinner, maybe go see a movie. Usually I like to do something kind of big on my birthday, a staycation or some activity I've always wanted to try, but I would gladly trade that for a successful cycle in July. I'm not going to take the day off work. Kind of a shame, because my birthday's a Friday this year and it will be seven years before it's on Friday again, but I'm conserving vacation days for our next upcoming attempt and, with any luck, maternity leave.
I could sit around and feel sorry for myself, but I'd rather look at it as a trade... that my birthday present this year will be a sticky BFP in August. That's all I really want, anyway. Nothing, no other gift could compare, and I would trade every other present I ever have or will receive if I could just have that.
Still, I'm doing my best not to think too much about it this time. The roller coaster of longing, fear, anxiety and doubt is too exhausting. I end up worrying myself into a little knot of unfulfilled hope, where every breath I take is accompanied by a will-it-work-this-time thought, and I'm sure it's not doing anything but possibly making my body less hospitable for implantation. It certainly isn't *helping.* I'm really not looking forward to resuming medication - the hot flashes on Lupron, the uncontrollable mood swings and congestion of estrogen, the constant peeing and meaningless pregnancy-symptoms of progesterone. Not really excited about the jet lag and the looooooong flight either.
But, I am excited by the idea of being in Athens in July. It will be hot, which maybe means a hotel with a pool, maybe even a trip to the beach. I haven't been to a beach in five years. But I am sitting on my butt with my legs up for TWO WHOLE DAYS after the transfer, this time. Period. There's so little that I can do to actually help make this work, and that's a simple one.
In the meantime, trying to distract myself. I'm selling what I can on Ebay, and helping Kaitlin do the same. She sold her living room set, the one that's been living in our garage for three years, so she can finally park her car in the garage again and she was able to put a little extra into savings so that she can come to Greece this time. I'm spending way more time than I should window-shopping online for cute, feminine, pink-and-lacy clothes (I wonder if all this estrogen I've been pumping myself with for the last eighteen months has fired up my girly-girl side?). I'm sewing cute little doll clothes, even put a set on Etsy to see if anybody would like it. I'm watching 24 with Kaitlin, and a new Korean drama series by myself. I'm putting together cute summery outfits to wear to work, and playing with my dog. I'm trying to keep the house clean, and planning spring-cleaning type projects. We even trimmed back our big lilac trees in the backyard over the weekend, and now there is a pile of branches hanging out back there that we'll have to spend this coming weekend breaking down into sacks for the trash people.
Just staying busy, trying not to think too much, and trying to pick positive thoughts when the thinking is inevitable. Trying to keep myself from feeling like this is our "last chance". Trying to remind myself that this won't be over until I say it is.
And trying to stay focused on how wonderful it is that it's finally June.
So I guess it's apropos that AF started yesterday, on June 1st, and my Lupron shipment arrived at the same time. That means we should be starting Lupron around the 21st or so of this month, and CD1 of our next cycle attempt will be around the 24th.
My birthday is next week. I love birthdays, though neither of us has money for much of anything this year. I think we'll go out to dinner, maybe go see a movie. Usually I like to do something kind of big on my birthday, a staycation or some activity I've always wanted to try, but I would gladly trade that for a successful cycle in July. I'm not going to take the day off work. Kind of a shame, because my birthday's a Friday this year and it will be seven years before it's on Friday again, but I'm conserving vacation days for our next upcoming attempt and, with any luck, maternity leave.
I could sit around and feel sorry for myself, but I'd rather look at it as a trade... that my birthday present this year will be a sticky BFP in August. That's all I really want, anyway. Nothing, no other gift could compare, and I would trade every other present I ever have or will receive if I could just have that.
Still, I'm doing my best not to think too much about it this time. The roller coaster of longing, fear, anxiety and doubt is too exhausting. I end up worrying myself into a little knot of unfulfilled hope, where every breath I take is accompanied by a will-it-work-this-time thought, and I'm sure it's not doing anything but possibly making my body less hospitable for implantation. It certainly isn't *helping.* I'm really not looking forward to resuming medication - the hot flashes on Lupron, the uncontrollable mood swings and congestion of estrogen, the constant peeing and meaningless pregnancy-symptoms of progesterone. Not really excited about the jet lag and the looooooong flight either.
But, I am excited by the idea of being in Athens in July. It will be hot, which maybe means a hotel with a pool, maybe even a trip to the beach. I haven't been to a beach in five years. But I am sitting on my butt with my legs up for TWO WHOLE DAYS after the transfer, this time. Period. There's so little that I can do to actually help make this work, and that's a simple one.
In the meantime, trying to distract myself. I'm selling what I can on Ebay, and helping Kaitlin do the same. She sold her living room set, the one that's been living in our garage for three years, so she can finally park her car in the garage again and she was able to put a little extra into savings so that she can come to Greece this time. I'm spending way more time than I should window-shopping online for cute, feminine, pink-and-lacy clothes (I wonder if all this estrogen I've been pumping myself with for the last eighteen months has fired up my girly-girl side?). I'm sewing cute little doll clothes, even put a set on Etsy to see if anybody would like it. I'm watching 24 with Kaitlin, and a new Korean drama series by myself. I'm putting together cute summery outfits to wear to work, and playing with my dog. I'm trying to keep the house clean, and planning spring-cleaning type projects. We even trimmed back our big lilac trees in the backyard over the weekend, and now there is a pile of branches hanging out back there that we'll have to spend this coming weekend breaking down into sacks for the trash people.
Just staying busy, trying not to think too much, and trying to pick positive thoughts when the thinking is inevitable. Trying to keep myself from feeling like this is our "last chance". Trying to remind myself that this won't be over until I say it is.
And trying to stay focused on how wonderful it is that it's finally June.
Thursday, May 14, 2015
A Little Positive Thinking
Since this blog is often majorly an outlet for all my negativity and disappointment, it seems only fair to make sure there are also entries on days when I'm feeling pretty positive about this whole thing.
Yes, it's been a long journey and we haven't arrived yet. But there's a part of me that's also really proud to have fought so hard and long for this without giving up. That's really grateful to have the resources to keep fighting. And today, looking back on all of this, I have the most bizarre emotion - enjoyment. Yeah. As if this whole thing, from today's perspective, has really been kind of fun. It's definitely challenging, and complex, and the most expensive gamble I've ever taken. But I feel like I really have made the wisest choices I could have possibly made with the options and resources available to me. I feel like I've given us the best chance of success all along.
And I feel optimistic that we aren't going to have to wave a white flag anytime soon. We try again in July. If that one doesn't work either, we can choose to try a fourth time - will probably be around December to get the savings together - or we can choose the adoption route.
You know what is the primary driver of this sudden bout of optimism? Digging into our finances with xcel spreadsheets. We've decided that I'm going to take over the management of Kaitlin's money, mostly because she hates managing money and misses opportunities to do it well. So I'm taking it over, and realizing I can probably have her nearly out of debt in 5 years. She's on an IBR for her student loans, and as a teacher, we can get the vast majority of the balance forgiven after 10 years, with just a little consistent paperwork. And what's more, I'm pretty sure I can help her save up enough to come to Greece with me for round #3. Just having her there will reduce the stress in a major way. She can pull luggage, give me the injections, and be someone to talk to and relax with.
The Greek clinic has a sperm donor in stock, and if we use his sample we don't have to pay extra for another sample. That makes the 4500 Euro / $5000 treatment fee the only real fee we have to worry about. The donor is 6ft tall, brown hair, blue/gray eyes, healthy and has prior pregnancies... and at this point we're not really caring much about either donor, aside from their probability of success.
Otherwise, we each need money for a plane ticket, the hotel room (breakfasts are included), enough money for lunches, dinners, and taxis to the clinic (about $6 each way, at the hotel I stayed at last time) and enough to cover some "replacement" progesterone, estrogen and heparin - about 2 weeks worth since that's all I used this round.
Today, I am feeling relatively confident that persistence is going to win out. That we're going to get our baby if we keep trying. And I am so very, very grateful, as I look at our income and bills, that there is a way for us to keep doing this. Yes, it's tight. Yes, it means giving up a lot of our wants, waiting on things we'd really like to have - home improvements, vacations, going to the movies, eating out, our Vegas elopement... but it's POSSIBLE. At least it's actually possible.
So. Let's get through the next weeks working hard, saving carefully, and being grateful for things like
sleeping in and housecleaning time on the weekends and the ability to be spontaneous while we still can... And keep our eye on the prize in July.
Yes, it's been a long journey and we haven't arrived yet. But there's a part of me that's also really proud to have fought so hard and long for this without giving up. That's really grateful to have the resources to keep fighting. And today, looking back on all of this, I have the most bizarre emotion - enjoyment. Yeah. As if this whole thing, from today's perspective, has really been kind of fun. It's definitely challenging, and complex, and the most expensive gamble I've ever taken. But I feel like I really have made the wisest choices I could have possibly made with the options and resources available to me. I feel like I've given us the best chance of success all along.
And I feel optimistic that we aren't going to have to wave a white flag anytime soon. We try again in July. If that one doesn't work either, we can choose to try a fourth time - will probably be around December to get the savings together - or we can choose the adoption route.
You know what is the primary driver of this sudden bout of optimism? Digging into our finances with xcel spreadsheets. We've decided that I'm going to take over the management of Kaitlin's money, mostly because she hates managing money and misses opportunities to do it well. So I'm taking it over, and realizing I can probably have her nearly out of debt in 5 years. She's on an IBR for her student loans, and as a teacher, we can get the vast majority of the balance forgiven after 10 years, with just a little consistent paperwork. And what's more, I'm pretty sure I can help her save up enough to come to Greece with me for round #3. Just having her there will reduce the stress in a major way. She can pull luggage, give me the injections, and be someone to talk to and relax with.
The Greek clinic has a sperm donor in stock, and if we use his sample we don't have to pay extra for another sample. That makes the 4500 Euro / $5000 treatment fee the only real fee we have to worry about. The donor is 6ft tall, brown hair, blue/gray eyes, healthy and has prior pregnancies... and at this point we're not really caring much about either donor, aside from their probability of success.
Otherwise, we each need money for a plane ticket, the hotel room (breakfasts are included), enough money for lunches, dinners, and taxis to the clinic (about $6 each way, at the hotel I stayed at last time) and enough to cover some "replacement" progesterone, estrogen and heparin - about 2 weeks worth since that's all I used this round.
Today, I am feeling relatively confident that persistence is going to win out. That we're going to get our baby if we keep trying. And I am so very, very grateful, as I look at our income and bills, that there is a way for us to keep doing this. Yes, it's tight. Yes, it means giving up a lot of our wants, waiting on things we'd really like to have - home improvements, vacations, going to the movies, eating out, our Vegas elopement... but it's POSSIBLE. At least it's actually possible.
So. Let's get through the next weeks working hard, saving carefully, and being grateful for things like
sleeping in and housecleaning time on the weekends and the ability to be spontaneous while we still can... And keep our eye on the prize in July.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Deep breath
So it's been almost a week since the BFN. I am sane again. About 24 hours after stopping the meds, I felt like a whole different person - still disappointed and sad, but calm and rational. It is incredible what a difference a few chemicals can make to the way your brain (and even heart) is able to process situations. PS, this is why there shouldn't be stigma about using meds for depression, anxiety, etc. I am telling you, the right balance of chemicals can literally mean the difference between being yourself and being something you don't even recognize.
Anyway. Less than 48 hours after stopping the meds, AF showed up again. I think my body's been *longing* for a good AF for weeks now, and it actually feels like something of a relief. The Greek clinic sent me a prescription for Lupron, and I just ordered 3 more vials. They're charging 4500 for a third round - about $5K. The plane tickets will be twice as much, since I used up all my airline miles, but basically I'll be doing meds, procedure, plane, hotel, and only as much money as I need to eat while I'm there, and that's it. Kaitlin's hoping to save up enough to come with me this time too, and that would be a huge stress relief.
So right now I'm feeling kind of meh about the whole thing. Not that I don't want it anymore, but I think there's only so much disappointment my heart can handle before it starts distancing itself for a little while. I need something else to let my heart be happy about, something "safer."
Yesterday was awful at work, but I'm grateful because today seems to have actually solved most of the problems that yesterday looked unsolvable. I'm feeling pretty good about myself and my competency and whatnot today, and that's a nice place to be. And, over the weekend I made some really, really cute little doll clothes, so the plan is to make some complete outfits and see if I can't get some cash through Etsy or something to help supplement this next round.
Onward and forward, I guess...
Anyway. Less than 48 hours after stopping the meds, AF showed up again. I think my body's been *longing* for a good AF for weeks now, and it actually feels like something of a relief. The Greek clinic sent me a prescription for Lupron, and I just ordered 3 more vials. They're charging 4500 for a third round - about $5K. The plane tickets will be twice as much, since I used up all my airline miles, but basically I'll be doing meds, procedure, plane, hotel, and only as much money as I need to eat while I'm there, and that's it. Kaitlin's hoping to save up enough to come with me this time too, and that would be a huge stress relief.
So right now I'm feeling kind of meh about the whole thing. Not that I don't want it anymore, but I think there's only so much disappointment my heart can handle before it starts distancing itself for a little while. I need something else to let my heart be happy about, something "safer."
Yesterday was awful at work, but I'm grateful because today seems to have actually solved most of the problems that yesterday looked unsolvable. I'm feeling pretty good about myself and my competency and whatnot today, and that's a nice place to be. And, over the weekend I made some really, really cute little doll clothes, so the plan is to make some complete outfits and see if I can't get some cash through Etsy or something to help supplement this next round.
Onward and forward, I guess...
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
IVF#2 5DP5DT - home sweet home
Getting home this round has been quite the adventure.
3DP5DT: symptoms of really uncomfortable constipation, constant peeing, light nausea, big appetite, feeling weepy, and exhaustion. I got checked out of my hotel, hauled my luggage to the metro and rode it to the airport, and got checked in for my flight... but my flight was delayed. First for thirty minutes, then an hour, then three. After sitting there for six hours (and having to give myself the heparin was injection in the airport bathroom, which gave me nigh onto a nervous breakdown) they finally announced the flight would be cancelled as they couldn't get the plane working. They gave us all hotel vouchers, we had to go back out through customs and collect our baggage again, then they bussed us to the hotel. It was a really beautiful hotel, right on the sea, with amazing views...but at that point I was so exhausted I just wanted to sleep. I was also starving, though, so I had to stay up while they prepared dinner for us. It was a really delicious buffet, with free wine (that I couldn't have). But I ate it as fast as I could and went up to bed. Pillows were nicer than the ones at my other hotel, though the mattress was just as hard. Anyway, got to sleep for like 5 hours before we had to get up at 3:30 am.
4DP5DT: symptoms of strong nausea- at morning and again at "night", exhaustion, feeling weepy, big appetite, thirst, constant peeing, light cramps. This was maybe one of the longest days of my life (literally.) We got up at about 3:30 in the morning, and the hotel served us breakfast at 4:15, piled us back into the buses, and took us back to the airport.
We went through check in, baggage check and passport control again. They assigned me a six hour layover in JFK, when I'd originally chosen my return ticket specifically for the short layover on the way home... Even paid extra for the higher price, which went to waste since I ended up with the
layover anyway. Got onto the 10.5 hour flight to JFK. Watched three movies and an episode of television during the flight, before the bright screen in the dark cabin gave me a splitting headache. Also was starving, and pretty much devoured every last calorie they offered us on the plane and still felt hungry... And must have made the trek to that damn bathroom a jillion times. Also had to give myself the heparin injection in the airplane bathroom, which was a million times worse than the one at the airport. :/
Landing set off an awful bout of nausea, where I felt flushed and sick. It was made worse when we got off the plane and had to walk a good 10 minutes of corridors, pounding headache, feeling sick, having to pee with no bathroom in sight. Insult to injury, my right knee had been tweaked during the flight and so I was limping most of the way. We get to passport control - still no bathrooms - and have to wait in a 20 minute line to get through to baggage claim. Finally a bathroom! I took care of that first, went and got my luggage, waited in another line at customs to get my bag through, and immediately went around the corner and re-checked it for the connecting flight. Took a train and then had to walk outside between a couple of buildings to get to the next terminal, where I had to go through security again.
At this point I'd been awake for about 16 hours, but it was only about noon in New York. My next flight wasn't until 6:45PM. I went to a sushi restaurant, paid way too much for a couple sushi rolls and some ginger ale, and then went to try and find a spot along the wall where I could lay down on the floor to rest. The first place I found was way too loud, with overhead music getting through even my earplugs, and I quickly became freezing cold, too. Got up, pretty damn miserable by this point, and found another spot in a sliver of sun at the base of a window. Laid down there, and slept for like three hours. It wasn't comfortable, but it was sleep... Finally had to force myself up, find my gate, and get ready for the last flight to Denver.
Got on the plane, but couldn't watch any of the inflight movies because my eyes ached. Couldn't really sleep either, because I couldn't exactly take ambien for a three hour flight. Yet those felt like the longest three hours of my life.
Finally we touched down, I went through the Denver airport circus of deplaning, getting to baggage claim, and finally finally met Kaitlin at the car outside. She'd brought my puppy with her <3 so I could cuddle her on the drive back. Pretty much burst into tears as soon as I was in the car. We stopped by a Wendy's to get food and came home, where I promptly dumped all my stuff and crawled into bed. And... Couldn't sleep, because now my body clock says it's daytime.
5DP5DT - which brings us to today. 4 AM and I am wide awake. Took a pregnancy test this morning but so far it's a no-go. I was expecting that, this early, but I was kind of hoping maybe for an early confirmation this time. Will keep testing over the next few days. I took today off of work but am supposed to go back tomorrow. Really don't feel ready. Kind of want the whole world on pause until I get the test results.
So happy to be home. Going to lose myself in puppy cuddles and daydreams today...
Sunday, April 26, 2015
IVF#2 3DP5DT Headed home today
It's a struggle, when traveling halfway across the world, to figure out the right timing of meds and even the right count of how far I am past transfer. I had my transfer at about noon on Friday the 24th, here. But that equates to about 3 AM on the 24th at home. Which means right now, it is about 6:45 AM on the 27th here, putting me at about 3 days past transfer (or at least, I will be at noon). But it's only 9:45 at night at home, on the 26th, making it two days past there. Ay yi yi.... Also, I have to figure out my meds schedule on the way back. I take progesterone four times a day, estrogen three times a day, and a heparin injection once a day. I think I'm actually going to have to do the injection on the plane. YUCK. And it may end up meaning I have to start doing injections in the mornings instead of at night like I prefer, and oh, I really don't want to wake up to that. X.x I wonder if it would hurt to do one extra injection, about 12 hours after the first, so that I can transition back to a night schedule?
Anyway, here's what's been going down since the transfer. I got up the next day, got the rest of the money I needed from the ATM, took a taxi to Embio and picked up my meds (holy crap there are a TON), and took a taxi back to the hotel. Crawled back into bed for several hours, but went on a walk later that afternoon (about five or six blocks) to check out this amazing little toy store we'd passed on the way in. The store had beautiful vinyl dolls about four feet tall, dressed in little girls' dress-up clothes - some of the most elaborate dress up clothes I've ever seen, and I would have been DROOLING over them when I was a child. Anyway, the dolls were for sale (about 400 Euro, LOL). They'd been pretty well-loved already, most had marks on their faces and such, but they were so pretty! I would have loved to have one, but I think Kaitlin would find a four foot tall plastic child a little creepy. Anyway, then I walked about halfway back to the hotel, but made myself stop and sit at a Starbucks (with a decaf macchiato) for about an hour to rest before going all the way back. Back into bed, back to Netflix and websurfing (and freaking myself out about the possibility of triplets, OMG). Took a little walk a few hours later to eat dinner at a TGIFridays that I'd passed on my earlier walk. Ate an entire plate of ribs, and had lemonade WITH ROSE SYRUP IN IT that was unbelievably amazing. Gave myself the heparin injection after, which was awful. The needles are so much bigger than the Lupron ones, and they don't slide easily in. I have to like, stab... and keep stabbing hard... until it gets in where it's supposed to be.
Anyway, I started feeling cramping at bedtime. And somehow I just had this feeling it was implantation. In fact, I had this certainty that it was boy/girl twins and I was pregnant for sure. :P
Then yesterday, I got up, had breakfast at the hotel buffet, got dressed all cute and did my makeup and everything, and went back to Monastiraki to blow the remainder of my Euro. Bought a bunch of really cute jewelry, some small gifts for Kaitlin, and then found this place that sells pre-decorated fake nails in the Asian style (with 3-d flowers and jewels and stuff attached to them) for 2 euro per set. Bought like six sets of them because they aren't in the States, and are so cute. I might have to get some different nail glue, though.... not sure I trust the nail glue that came with them. And I might have to save them until after I get through a first trimester safely. Also, there was this enormous flea market going on, with people lining the streets with booths full of their jewelry-making and art and woodcrafts and so on, and they didn't have this the last time we were here, so it was pretty fascinating. But, it was a LOT of walking, and I kept having to stop and rest for an hour or so in between, both because my feet hurt and because I was really tired. Finally had to throw in the towel and get back to the hotel. Had dinner at the hotel restaurant, though I did go out for just one more block of walking so I could pick up one last dessert at the amazing bakery around the corner (which I put into my mini fridge and forgot to eat last night, so I ate it first thing this morning. Chocolate dessert breakfast, mmmmm.) Was feeling a lot less certain I was pregnant by last night.
Did have to pee like three times in the middle of the night, though. Yay, hormones.
So, today is travel day again. I'm going to go have breakfast in a bit, finish up my packing (somehow I've managed to get all those meds into my suitcase, but it was NOT EASY) and get to the metro so I can get to the airport. In for a LOOOOONG day of plan flights (about sixteen hours' worth) and three hours or so at JFK in between. But I am looking forward to seeing my honey and my puppy and sleeping in my own bed with my own comfy pillow tonight.
Not looking forward to the rest of the TWW. When I get home I have to set up a blood test for my beta, on May 6th. In the meantime I'm supposed to return to work. But, I'm not going back until Wednesday at the earliest... I need at least one day at home to deal with jet lag. I might just take two. It's not like I don't have the leave time saved up.
I don't know what to think about this round. It's been kind of nice, having this impromptu exotic foreign vacation as a part of the IVF experience. I do wish Kaitlin could have come... it's a little lonely by myself... and yet my little introvert heart has been kind of thriving on the alone-time. I am vacillating between terror of triplets, apathy about the whole damn TTC circus, certainty that we'll get a flat out BFN, and hope that this is finally it. The hope seems the most fragile of all, this shiny veiled dream sequence playing out behind a curtain, that I'm not actually going to get to touch. And there are moments when my imagination does take me there, and I live in that fantasyland with my BFP and heartbeat on the ultrasound and a joint pregnancy alongside my sister-in-law and a healthy baby (or two) at the end... but I don't know if my heart dares to actually believe it. It keeps telling me the scenario is (as my parents used to describe Santa Claus and the tooth fairy) "fun-pretend". Not something that's actually ever going to be mine, but I can enjoy pretending for a while if I want to.
Sigh.
I keep reminding myself that two weeks isn't that long. I waited much longer for this opportunity to come around again after the miscarriage. I can make it two more weeks. Not even that, because the beta is actually set in 12 days post-transfer. I got my BFP on day 8 post transfer last time. And I know I'm not going to be able to resist testing around that time this round, although I dread how scary it will be if that second line doesn't show up on day 8, because I know what my brain's going to do with it.
Anyway, have to get up now and get dressed and moving. See ya'all when I'm stateside again...
Anyway, here's what's been going down since the transfer. I got up the next day, got the rest of the money I needed from the ATM, took a taxi to Embio and picked up my meds (holy crap there are a TON), and took a taxi back to the hotel. Crawled back into bed for several hours, but went on a walk later that afternoon (about five or six blocks) to check out this amazing little toy store we'd passed on the way in. The store had beautiful vinyl dolls about four feet tall, dressed in little girls' dress-up clothes - some of the most elaborate dress up clothes I've ever seen, and I would have been DROOLING over them when I was a child. Anyway, the dolls were for sale (about 400 Euro, LOL). They'd been pretty well-loved already, most had marks on their faces and such, but they were so pretty! I would have loved to have one, but I think Kaitlin would find a four foot tall plastic child a little creepy. Anyway, then I walked about halfway back to the hotel, but made myself stop and sit at a Starbucks (with a decaf macchiato) for about an hour to rest before going all the way back. Back into bed, back to Netflix and websurfing (and freaking myself out about the possibility of triplets, OMG). Took a little walk a few hours later to eat dinner at a TGIFridays that I'd passed on my earlier walk. Ate an entire plate of ribs, and had lemonade WITH ROSE SYRUP IN IT that was unbelievably amazing. Gave myself the heparin injection after, which was awful. The needles are so much bigger than the Lupron ones, and they don't slide easily in. I have to like, stab... and keep stabbing hard... until it gets in where it's supposed to be.
Anyway, I started feeling cramping at bedtime. And somehow I just had this feeling it was implantation. In fact, I had this certainty that it was boy/girl twins and I was pregnant for sure. :P
Then yesterday, I got up, had breakfast at the hotel buffet, got dressed all cute and did my makeup and everything, and went back to Monastiraki to blow the remainder of my Euro. Bought a bunch of really cute jewelry, some small gifts for Kaitlin, and then found this place that sells pre-decorated fake nails in the Asian style (with 3-d flowers and jewels and stuff attached to them) for 2 euro per set. Bought like six sets of them because they aren't in the States, and are so cute. I might have to get some different nail glue, though.... not sure I trust the nail glue that came with them. And I might have to save them until after I get through a first trimester safely. Also, there was this enormous flea market going on, with people lining the streets with booths full of their jewelry-making and art and woodcrafts and so on, and they didn't have this the last time we were here, so it was pretty fascinating. But, it was a LOT of walking, and I kept having to stop and rest for an hour or so in between, both because my feet hurt and because I was really tired. Finally had to throw in the towel and get back to the hotel. Had dinner at the hotel restaurant, though I did go out for just one more block of walking so I could pick up one last dessert at the amazing bakery around the corner (which I put into my mini fridge and forgot to eat last night, so I ate it first thing this morning. Chocolate dessert breakfast, mmmmm.) Was feeling a lot less certain I was pregnant by last night.
Did have to pee like three times in the middle of the night, though. Yay, hormones.
So, today is travel day again. I'm going to go have breakfast in a bit, finish up my packing (somehow I've managed to get all those meds into my suitcase, but it was NOT EASY) and get to the metro so I can get to the airport. In for a LOOOOONG day of plan flights (about sixteen hours' worth) and three hours or so at JFK in between. But I am looking forward to seeing my honey and my puppy and sleeping in my own bed with my own comfy pillow tonight.
Not looking forward to the rest of the TWW. When I get home I have to set up a blood test for my beta, on May 6th. In the meantime I'm supposed to return to work. But, I'm not going back until Wednesday at the earliest... I need at least one day at home to deal with jet lag. I might just take two. It's not like I don't have the leave time saved up.
I don't know what to think about this round. It's been kind of nice, having this impromptu exotic foreign vacation as a part of the IVF experience. I do wish Kaitlin could have come... it's a little lonely by myself... and yet my little introvert heart has been kind of thriving on the alone-time. I am vacillating between terror of triplets, apathy about the whole damn TTC circus, certainty that we'll get a flat out BFN, and hope that this is finally it. The hope seems the most fragile of all, this shiny veiled dream sequence playing out behind a curtain, that I'm not actually going to get to touch. And there are moments when my imagination does take me there, and I live in that fantasyland with my BFP and heartbeat on the ultrasound and a joint pregnancy alongside my sister-in-law and a healthy baby (or two) at the end... but I don't know if my heart dares to actually believe it. It keeps telling me the scenario is (as my parents used to describe Santa Claus and the tooth fairy) "fun-pretend". Not something that's actually ever going to be mine, but I can enjoy pretending for a while if I want to.
Sigh.
I keep reminding myself that two weeks isn't that long. I waited much longer for this opportunity to come around again after the miscarriage. I can make it two more weeks. Not even that, because the beta is actually set in 12 days post-transfer. I got my BFP on day 8 post transfer last time. And I know I'm not going to be able to resist testing around that time this round, although I dread how scary it will be if that second line doesn't show up on day 8, because I know what my brain's going to do with it.
Anyway, have to get up now and get dressed and moving. See ya'all when I'm stateside again...
Friday, April 24, 2015
IVF#2 CD29 D-Day
I have more pics to add to my prior post, but blogger isn't cooperating at the moment so I may have to wait until I get home. (EDIT: fixed! mostly food pictures, because I turn into a total foodie while I'm here...)
Anyway, I spent yesterday mostly sleeping. Got up around 7 first, skyped with Kaitlin for a while and ate breakfast, and started feeling really dizzy and sleepy. I guess the progesterone? Went back upstairs and fell asleep until almost 11AM. Got up again, too the metro back to Monastiraki and did some more shopping. Spent more than I should on a few cute new pieces of clothing - pink flowy skirt, cute black hi-low shirt that says "You fill me MUCH BE@UTY" (oh, how I love Engrish!), a white and navy striped top with this dramatic sheer train-like back that says "Can you feel my heart?" and this absolutely gorgeous short black wool double-breasted coat that was on sale since it's now spring. Hearts. This particular shop had so many clothes I wanted - the cutest retro dresses, and these slash-front punk-looking tights, and lace and crochet and OMGOMG. I wanted the whole store, so when you think about it, I did very well limiting myself to just a few pieces, yes?? :)
Only got approached once by one of the African scammer guys. I'd almost forgotten about them, but they're all over the square. Basically they approach women, especially foreigners, and start out with a loud, cheerful greeting and a lot of friendly flirting. They reach for your hand, and once they've got it, they tie an ugly friendship bracelet thing on, shower you with more compliments, offer prayers for you and your future boyfriend, and then ask for money in exchange for their blessing. Last time we were here we got caught by them once unawares and ended up giving them a couple of euros... When they tried it every single night afterward, it got old really fast. One of them got my wrist one night and would not let go, and Kaitlin actually had to shout at him to get him to back off. Anyway, one of them came up to me yesterday too, but I told him no very loudly and turned and walked away before he managed to get more than a couple of words in. I sat at a cafe for lunch/dinner and watched a group of them pulling their schtick on a few of the other diners nearby. Thankfully they left me alone this time. Ugh.
Anyway, after eating I came back to the hotel with the intention of resting a little, maybe showering and going out to get a dessert before bed, but no... I was so tired I pretty much passed out. Woke up for about an hour or so around 10:30PM, then went back to sleep.
And today... Well, I didn't sleep very well last night, mostly due to excitement. Woke up before my alarm, took a shower and skyped with Kaitlin for a little while. Went down to breakfast, then out to find an ATM. Unfortunately my bank limits how much I can withdraw per day - I need 408 Euros for my meds, but could only get 200. Sigh. Took the metro to Embio, got there early and hung out for a while in the waiting room.
The wait times were a LOT shorter this time. There was no pre-meeting with the doctor like last time. They took me upstairs, had me change into the little robe, and took me straight into the procedure room - no waiting. But then everything happened so fast... The doctor came in, said we had three embryos (two good, one average) and he was putting all three in. I asked him if we could limit it to two and he pretty much blew me off, said we'd probably only get one out of the three and this increased our chances. I think all three were already in the catheter and they couldn't have taken just one out at that point. So here I am sort of stunned that we're ending up with three, after all the times Kaitlin and I had debated and decided on only two. But, he's already prying me open and damn it is uncomfortable and I'm trying to stay relaxed and not think about it. There was less pressure and pinching than I remember, though, and it seems like it went a lot faster. He suddenly pronounced we were done, did a few more really uncomfortable things and removed the speculum. They wheeled me back into the waiting room, and this time they came to get me after about 30-45 minutes instead of letting me sit for over two hours. Also, no bitter Italian lady next to me, which was a plus. :P
I still haven't seen the egg donor's profile, and I think I am going to have to come back tomorrow in order to pick up my medicine. So now I am sitting back downstairs again, waiting (I assume) to meet with the nurse and maybe the doctor again before I go. I need to ask the nurse what time I can come back tomorrow, and also if she can email me the donor's profile. I also need instructions on what meds to take... I think I will have to start giving myself heparin shots now. *shudder* I'm hoping I'll get one meeting with the doctor before I go, so that I can ask him how many days along the embryos are. I'm guessing five, like last time, but it would be nice to know. I also need to know if it's ok for me to walk back to the metro, or if I need to take a taxi. If I need to take a taxi I need one of them to call one for me, because I don't have a working phone here.
So, I'll be hanging out pretty much exclusively at the hotel for the rest of my time here. Once I finish whatever we're doing next I'm going to go get some food... Hungry again! Another update in a little bit...
EDIT:
So, I met with the nurse and doctor. 5-day embryos, like last time. They upped my dose of estrogen, added the heparin, and I'm going back at 10AM tomorrow to pick up the meds. They didn't want me walking to the metro station, so I managed to flag down a taxi and was pleasantly impressed that because I'd chosen a better hotel location this time the taxi fare was under 6 Euros. At the last hotel it was close to 20! Got back to the room, dropped my things off, went and had a sandwich and fries at the hotel restaurant. Came back to the room with the intention of watching some Netflix and instead fell asleep for four hours. O.o I don't remember being this tired during my last IVF, but maybe it's because of jet lag and the fact that I'm traveling alone without any planned activities, so everything in general feels really relaxed?
Anyway, got up and walked just around the corner from the hotel to get a salad for dinner and another of those amazing desserts. Came back and gave myself the heparin shot, which was NOT fun... the needle is a lot harder to insert than the Lupron needles were, and it definitely hurt more. I have to do this like two or three more times before I get to have Kaitlin start doing it, too. Yuck. Now I'm hanging out in bed again, surfing the internet. I'll probably stay up for a bit tonight since I took such a long nap.
Oddly, I'm feeling kind of emotionally numb. I think maybe my brain doesn't want to really get excited until we know whether this is going to stick. It taunts me with the possibility of a flat out BFN, as if I was never even here. The odds actually are that I WILL get pregnant, but I think my heart is so tired of the roller coaster of TTC that it's hard to actually believe it's going to work.
Luckily, I don't think my personal beliefs have one whit of influence on whether I get pregnant or not. :) So, fingers crossed, everybody. Please please please universe, be kind to us at last, and let us take home a baby from this one.
Bring on the 2WW!
Anyway, I spent yesterday mostly sleeping. Got up around 7 first, skyped with Kaitlin for a while and ate breakfast, and started feeling really dizzy and sleepy. I guess the progesterone? Went back upstairs and fell asleep until almost 11AM. Got up again, too the metro back to Monastiraki and did some more shopping. Spent more than I should on a few cute new pieces of clothing - pink flowy skirt, cute black hi-low shirt that says "You fill me MUCH BE@UTY" (oh, how I love Engrish!), a white and navy striped top with this dramatic sheer train-like back that says "Can you feel my heart?" and this absolutely gorgeous short black wool double-breasted coat that was on sale since it's now spring. Hearts. This particular shop had so many clothes I wanted - the cutest retro dresses, and these slash-front punk-looking tights, and lace and crochet and OMGOMG. I wanted the whole store, so when you think about it, I did very well limiting myself to just a few pieces, yes?? :)
Only got approached once by one of the African scammer guys. I'd almost forgotten about them, but they're all over the square. Basically they approach women, especially foreigners, and start out with a loud, cheerful greeting and a lot of friendly flirting. They reach for your hand, and once they've got it, they tie an ugly friendship bracelet thing on, shower you with more compliments, offer prayers for you and your future boyfriend, and then ask for money in exchange for their blessing. Last time we were here we got caught by them once unawares and ended up giving them a couple of euros... When they tried it every single night afterward, it got old really fast. One of them got my wrist one night and would not let go, and Kaitlin actually had to shout at him to get him to back off. Anyway, one of them came up to me yesterday too, but I told him no very loudly and turned and walked away before he managed to get more than a couple of words in. I sat at a cafe for lunch/dinner and watched a group of them pulling their schtick on a few of the other diners nearby. Thankfully they left me alone this time. Ugh.
Anyway, after eating I came back to the hotel with the intention of resting a little, maybe showering and going out to get a dessert before bed, but no... I was so tired I pretty much passed out. Woke up for about an hour or so around 10:30PM, then went back to sleep.
And today... Well, I didn't sleep very well last night, mostly due to excitement. Woke up before my alarm, took a shower and skyped with Kaitlin for a little while. Went down to breakfast, then out to find an ATM. Unfortunately my bank limits how much I can withdraw per day - I need 408 Euros for my meds, but could only get 200. Sigh. Took the metro to Embio, got there early and hung out for a while in the waiting room.
The wait times were a LOT shorter this time. There was no pre-meeting with the doctor like last time. They took me upstairs, had me change into the little robe, and took me straight into the procedure room - no waiting. But then everything happened so fast... The doctor came in, said we had three embryos (two good, one average) and he was putting all three in. I asked him if we could limit it to two and he pretty much blew me off, said we'd probably only get one out of the three and this increased our chances. I think all three were already in the catheter and they couldn't have taken just one out at that point. So here I am sort of stunned that we're ending up with three, after all the times Kaitlin and I had debated and decided on only two. But, he's already prying me open and damn it is uncomfortable and I'm trying to stay relaxed and not think about it. There was less pressure and pinching than I remember, though, and it seems like it went a lot faster. He suddenly pronounced we were done, did a few more really uncomfortable things and removed the speculum. They wheeled me back into the waiting room, and this time they came to get me after about 30-45 minutes instead of letting me sit for over two hours. Also, no bitter Italian lady next to me, which was a plus. :P
I still haven't seen the egg donor's profile, and I think I am going to have to come back tomorrow in order to pick up my medicine. So now I am sitting back downstairs again, waiting (I assume) to meet with the nurse and maybe the doctor again before I go. I need to ask the nurse what time I can come back tomorrow, and also if she can email me the donor's profile. I also need instructions on what meds to take... I think I will have to start giving myself heparin shots now. *shudder* I'm hoping I'll get one meeting with the doctor before I go, so that I can ask him how many days along the embryos are. I'm guessing five, like last time, but it would be nice to know. I also need to know if it's ok for me to walk back to the metro, or if I need to take a taxi. If I need to take a taxi I need one of them to call one for me, because I don't have a working phone here.
So, I'll be hanging out pretty much exclusively at the hotel for the rest of my time here. Once I finish whatever we're doing next I'm going to go get some food... Hungry again! Another update in a little bit...
EDIT:
So, I met with the nurse and doctor. 5-day embryos, like last time. They upped my dose of estrogen, added the heparin, and I'm going back at 10AM tomorrow to pick up the meds. They didn't want me walking to the metro station, so I managed to flag down a taxi and was pleasantly impressed that because I'd chosen a better hotel location this time the taxi fare was under 6 Euros. At the last hotel it was close to 20! Got back to the room, dropped my things off, went and had a sandwich and fries at the hotel restaurant. Came back to the room with the intention of watching some Netflix and instead fell asleep for four hours. O.o I don't remember being this tired during my last IVF, but maybe it's because of jet lag and the fact that I'm traveling alone without any planned activities, so everything in general feels really relaxed?
Anyway, got up and walked just around the corner from the hotel to get a salad for dinner and another of those amazing desserts. Came back and gave myself the heparin shot, which was NOT fun... the needle is a lot harder to insert than the Lupron needles were, and it definitely hurt more. I have to do this like two or three more times before I get to have Kaitlin start doing it, too. Yuck. Now I'm hanging out in bed again, surfing the internet. I'll probably stay up for a bit tonight since I took such a long nap.
Oddly, I'm feeling kind of emotionally numb. I think maybe my brain doesn't want to really get excited until we know whether this is going to stick. It taunts me with the possibility of a flat out BFN, as if I was never even here. The odds actually are that I WILL get pregnant, but I think my heart is so tired of the roller coaster of TTC that it's hard to actually believe it's going to work.
Luckily, I don't think my personal beliefs have one whit of influence on whether I get pregnant or not. :) So, fingers crossed, everybody. Please please please universe, be kind to us at last, and let us take home a baby from this one.
Bring on the 2WW!
IVF#2 CD27, Part Deux
So today I took the metro to Monastiraki, and wandered around the shops, and got a fish pedicure and a manicure (at a different place this time, it was upstairs in one of the buildings and much more spa-like in atmosphere. They had a gorgeous three-legged white Persian cat with one blue eye and one yellow eye. I tried to get a picture of him, but it was too dark in there. The lady said he lost his leg by falling from a seventh story. O.o)
Also found the cutest pair of pale blue, lacy flats from a street vendor for five Euro (around $6).
Then I went and found Embio, and had an ultrasound (this time I was prepared for how fast he was, so it wasn't as startling.) He also pronounced my endometrium "very good," at 12mm. My embryo transfer is going to be on Friday at 10 AM, so I'll probably spend tomorrow wandering around too, since after the transfer I'm pretty much staying in bed at the hotel until it's time to go home.
After that I went back to Monastiraki again for dinner, and found a nice little outdoor cafe - they're so much nicer in April when it's not raining and cold! Ordered something called giaiurtlou kebap, based entirely on the picture on the poster outside the building, and it was AMAZING. Basically it's sausages on a pita,smothered in cream & cheese sauce. Oh my god it was good. I swear Greece has the most amazing food...
Afterwards I stopped by the requisite souvenir shop. Picked up a couple gifts for Kaitlin and a white Aphrodite-style sundress that I'd been eyeing the last time I was here. Took the metro back to my hotel and picked up an incredible dessert on the way. Did I mention THE FOOD HERE??? Holy crap the CHOCOLATE.
So now I am going to watch a little Netflix and probably take a bubble bath, since my hips and knees and feet are tired from all that walking. Hey, gotta burn off all these calories somehow, yeah?
If you have to nearly bankrupt yourself doing IVF, I am telling you, ladies, this is how to do it. I really miss Kaitlin and my tiny dog, but wow, so far I am having a pretty darned amazing time. Now if only this round will work!
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
IVF#2 CD27 In Greece
After a long flight, and a ten hour layover in JFK (oh my gosh that was mind-numbing) I finally made it to Athens. Retrieved my luggage, got through customs (they actually stamped my passport this time, yay!) and found the metro. Rode the metro and got off at the right stop, ALL BY MYSELF. I feel like a big girl.
Bragging rights end there, though, because once I emerged from the metro station I got turned around - and walked blocks and blocks and blocks in the wrong direction, dragging my suitcase, until I saw signs indicating I had almost reached the Acropolis. I realized I was going the opposite way of where I needed to be, turned around, walked ALL that way back to the metro, and figured out what had happened - the metro station was on the opposite side of the street from where I had expected. See, I had thought that I would be clever and Google-street-view the route from the metro to my hotel so I'd know what it looked like. But the one most important bit - which direction to go from the metro station - had been determined by what side of the street I thought the metro station was on. Ahhh!
Anyway, it was a long and sweaty walk, dragging my suitcase across town, but I made it to the hotel finally. I like this one more than the one we stayed at last time. It's much quieter and there is NO SMELL OF SMOKE - the one last time was reeking of it. I have my own private little balcony (though it's kind of covered in rain puddles right now) and carpet on the floors (the other hotel had only hard floors) and a bathtub (the other hotel had only a tiny shower.) I plan to take a bubble bath one of these nights... Now I will find out in an hour or so if their breakfast is as good, since breakfast was the best part about the last place we stayed. There are also more outlets here to charge all my stuff. Like the last hotel, you have to use your key card to turn on the electricity, so there's only power while you're actually in the room - that means I can only charge my stuff while I'm in here, so usually only while I'm sleeping. Don't like that much, but one thing that's different is that you also have to use your key card to get the elevator to work. I do like that - it's a little extra security, and it's nice for a girl who's traveling by herself. The one drawback is that the beds are too firm for my taste, but I guess you can't have everything. :P
Once I got here, I had to go through the process of connecting my little laptop to the Wifi and downloading iTunes. Thankfully, the WiFi connection is fantastic. But my iPad had died - as in, would not turn on and was just flashing the Apple logo at me - while I was in the Denver airport. So I had to download iTunes on my computer, connect it to my iPad, and update the iOS. Luckily that was all it needed. I didn't even have to do a restore - once I updated it, it went back to working like it's supposed to. Then I learned that my computer will not play nice with the USB hard drive Kaitlin let me take, that has a ton of movies on it. That was really disappointing, since I'm not planning on leaving the hotel much while I'm here and all the channels on TV are either in Greek or the BBC news... but, I then found out, through the magic of Google, how to access Netflix from here and so now I am quite a content girl.
Anyway, took care of my computer issues, had lunch/dinner around 3 in the downstairs restaurant, came back up to the room and took a nice long shower, and went to sleep about 7 or so. Woke up this morning bright and early at 5:30, skyped with Kaitlin for a little while, and went down to breakfast. Now I'm sitting in bed, waiting for it to warm up a little outside so I can decide if I want to go downtown or not. Also waiting for an email from the Greek clinic... I still don't know when they want me there. SIGH.
So far so good. I am so nervous that this isn't going to work. Trying so hard not to think like that, but all of this is a little overwhelming... Just have to take it one waiting-period at a time, I guess.
Bragging rights end there, though, because once I emerged from the metro station I got turned around - and walked blocks and blocks and blocks in the wrong direction, dragging my suitcase, until I saw signs indicating I had almost reached the Acropolis. I realized I was going the opposite way of where I needed to be, turned around, walked ALL that way back to the metro, and figured out what had happened - the metro station was on the opposite side of the street from where I had expected. See, I had thought that I would be clever and Google-street-view the route from the metro to my hotel so I'd know what it looked like. But the one most important bit - which direction to go from the metro station - had been determined by what side of the street I thought the metro station was on. Ahhh!
Anyway, it was a long and sweaty walk, dragging my suitcase across town, but I made it to the hotel finally. I like this one more than the one we stayed at last time. It's much quieter and there is NO SMELL OF SMOKE - the one last time was reeking of it. I have my own private little balcony (though it's kind of covered in rain puddles right now) and carpet on the floors (the other hotel had only hard floors) and a bathtub (the other hotel had only a tiny shower.) I plan to take a bubble bath one of these nights... Now I will find out in an hour or so if their breakfast is as good, since breakfast was the best part about the last place we stayed. There are also more outlets here to charge all my stuff. Like the last hotel, you have to use your key card to turn on the electricity, so there's only power while you're actually in the room - that means I can only charge my stuff while I'm in here, so usually only while I'm sleeping. Don't like that much, but one thing that's different is that you also have to use your key card to get the elevator to work. I do like that - it's a little extra security, and it's nice for a girl who's traveling by herself. The one drawback is that the beds are too firm for my taste, but I guess you can't have everything. :P
Once I got here, I had to go through the process of connecting my little laptop to the Wifi and downloading iTunes. Thankfully, the WiFi connection is fantastic. But my iPad had died - as in, would not turn on and was just flashing the Apple logo at me - while I was in the Denver airport. So I had to download iTunes on my computer, connect it to my iPad, and update the iOS. Luckily that was all it needed. I didn't even have to do a restore - once I updated it, it went back to working like it's supposed to. Then I learned that my computer will not play nice with the USB hard drive Kaitlin let me take, that has a ton of movies on it. That was really disappointing, since I'm not planning on leaving the hotel much while I'm here and all the channels on TV are either in Greek or the BBC news... but, I then found out, through the magic of Google, how to access Netflix from here and so now I am quite a content girl.
Anyway, took care of my computer issues, had lunch/dinner around 3 in the downstairs restaurant, came back up to the room and took a nice long shower, and went to sleep about 7 or so. Woke up this morning bright and early at 5:30, skyped with Kaitlin for a little while, and went down to breakfast. Now I'm sitting in bed, waiting for it to warm up a little outside so I can decide if I want to go downtown or not. Also waiting for an email from the Greek clinic... I still don't know when they want me there. SIGH.
So far so good. I am so nervous that this isn't going to work. Trying so hard not to think like that, but all of this is a little overwhelming... Just have to take it one waiting-period at a time, I guess.
Sunday, April 19, 2015
IVF#2 CD25 Headed Out
Sitting at the Denver airport now, waiting to catch my red eye flight to JFK. Plane leaves at 12:30 AM and arrives around 4:30 AM - but it will be 6:30 AM there. Then a ten hour layover at the airport before I can grab my flight to Athens.
I actually managed to give myself two of the Lupron injections this week, in preparation for having to stab myself while I'm traveling. Then, as it turns out, the injection for today is to be the last one. I start progesterone tomorrow, though I still don't know when the transfer date will be. My Greek coordinator looked over the ultrasound scan from Friday and pronounced my endometrium "very good", so that's encouraging.
Still, traveling alone is kind of hard. When I got on the airport train I shared a car with a couple who had a very new, tiny baby. And I'm hoping so much that this trip is going to turn into a baby for us too, one that I get to keep. I also know that it's all really a matter of luck. And somehow the plane flights and airports and hotel and all the other stuff that's so exciting about travel seems a lot less fun to do alone.
Anyway, at least I can be glad to finally be at that moment that felt like it would never come, the day when we get to try again. I am full of wishes tonight.
I actually managed to give myself two of the Lupron injections this week, in preparation for having to stab myself while I'm traveling. Then, as it turns out, the injection for today is to be the last one. I start progesterone tomorrow, though I still don't know when the transfer date will be. My Greek coordinator looked over the ultrasound scan from Friday and pronounced my endometrium "very good", so that's encouraging.
Still, traveling alone is kind of hard. When I got on the airport train I shared a car with a couple who had a very new, tiny baby. And I'm hoping so much that this trip is going to turn into a baby for us too, one that I get to keep. I also know that it's all really a matter of luck. And somehow the plane flights and airports and hotel and all the other stuff that's so exciting about travel seems a lot less fun to do alone.
Anyway, at least I can be glad to finally be at that moment that felt like it would never come, the day when we get to try again. I am full of wishes tonight.
Thursday, April 16, 2015
IVF#2 CD22 Almost There
This week has been insanity.
First off, until I started my estrogen, I was experiencing all kinds of side effects from the Lupron that I didn't the first round - primarily hot flashes and insomnia. Once I started taking the estrogen, those have mostly subsided. Now I am just dizzy and exhausted. Starting to get back to that point where I have to pee a lot, too. Feeling bloaty. Sleeping like the dead, though, as if my body's trying to make up for all it missed in the last few weeks, so getting out of bed in the morning is nigh on to painful.
We're practicing, every night, to work me up to being able to give myself the injection. Kaitlin fills one of our used syringes with water and I stab it repeatedly into a dog toy. Still dreading stabbing myself, but hoping if the angle, hand position, and all of that gets to be familiar it will be slightly less scary. Kaitlin has a thing to do tonight and won't be home until late, so I *might* just test to see if I can do it myself tonight. We'll see. Right now if I think about it too hard it gives me shudders.
I bought my plane tickets and hotel. I wired the fee to the Greek bank. I'm working my ASS off at work trying to get things settled for my leave - thankfully my boss is being really awesome about it and I am SO grateful. Naturally, this is the week that everything has decided to blow up. I had to fire a person last Friday, for the first time ever, so we're short handed. Now I'm trying to interview a temporary replacement and do onboarding, plan ahead for onboarding of another new person whose first day is the first day of my leave (ack), trying to prep my staff and my boss to be able to take over all the different irons-in-the-fire that are going on. I still haven't made a packing list, or gone to the bank to buy Euros, or been able to make it to the courthouse to pick up my name change paperwork.
On the plus side: we cleaned out the garage this weekend and it damn near sparkles. Oh, it makes me happy to come home from work and open up that garage door and see things neatly stacked and hung and a swept floor and everything looking orderly and groomed. *happysigh* I have an ultrasound appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning - it'll be pricey, but the last one before I get to Greece. Planning on swinging past the courthouse on my way into work afterword, and picking up that name change paper. I spend the weekend packing, doing my bank run, and generally making sure I have everything I need to leave. Oh, and trying to prep my sleep schedule to minimize jet lag, if I can.
Here's the fun part. Kaitlin drops me off at the airport at 10 PM on Sunday. My flight leaves just past midnight, and drops me at JFK at approximately 4 AM our time. I have a 10 hour layover, then back on the plane at 2 PM our time and off the plane at 9:30 AM Athens time (which is approximately midnight here.) I'll be in Athens for a week, and back on the plane the following Monday.
Still don't know what day the transfer is happening. Praying that our donor has good eggs, that we get at least two good embryos, that everything goes smoothly and that I don't get kidnapped and murdered while I'm traveling alone. O.o Oh, and that I can stomach (ha, ha) giving myself the injections.
Added the cost of all our latest stuff to the costs page and we've hit the $29K mark. I must really, really want this. I sure do hope it works this round.
Right now I'm so tired and things are so crazy that all I can really focus on is the next thing on my to-do list. I know I'm going to be super bored while I'm there, but right now I'm really looking forward to at least the first day or two of nothing-to-do!
First off, until I started my estrogen, I was experiencing all kinds of side effects from the Lupron that I didn't the first round - primarily hot flashes and insomnia. Once I started taking the estrogen, those have mostly subsided. Now I am just dizzy and exhausted. Starting to get back to that point where I have to pee a lot, too. Feeling bloaty. Sleeping like the dead, though, as if my body's trying to make up for all it missed in the last few weeks, so getting out of bed in the morning is nigh on to painful.
We're practicing, every night, to work me up to being able to give myself the injection. Kaitlin fills one of our used syringes with water and I stab it repeatedly into a dog toy. Still dreading stabbing myself, but hoping if the angle, hand position, and all of that gets to be familiar it will be slightly less scary. Kaitlin has a thing to do tonight and won't be home until late, so I *might* just test to see if I can do it myself tonight. We'll see. Right now if I think about it too hard it gives me shudders.
I bought my plane tickets and hotel. I wired the fee to the Greek bank. I'm working my ASS off at work trying to get things settled for my leave - thankfully my boss is being really awesome about it and I am SO grateful. Naturally, this is the week that everything has decided to blow up. I had to fire a person last Friday, for the first time ever, so we're short handed. Now I'm trying to interview a temporary replacement and do onboarding, plan ahead for onboarding of another new person whose first day is the first day of my leave (ack), trying to prep my staff and my boss to be able to take over all the different irons-in-the-fire that are going on. I still haven't made a packing list, or gone to the bank to buy Euros, or been able to make it to the courthouse to pick up my name change paperwork.
On the plus side: we cleaned out the garage this weekend and it damn near sparkles. Oh, it makes me happy to come home from work and open up that garage door and see things neatly stacked and hung and a swept floor and everything looking orderly and groomed. *happysigh* I have an ultrasound appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning - it'll be pricey, but the last one before I get to Greece. Planning on swinging past the courthouse on my way into work afterword, and picking up that name change paper. I spend the weekend packing, doing my bank run, and generally making sure I have everything I need to leave. Oh, and trying to prep my sleep schedule to minimize jet lag, if I can.
Here's the fun part. Kaitlin drops me off at the airport at 10 PM on Sunday. My flight leaves just past midnight, and drops me at JFK at approximately 4 AM our time. I have a 10 hour layover, then back on the plane at 2 PM our time and off the plane at 9:30 AM Athens time (which is approximately midnight here.) I'll be in Athens for a week, and back on the plane the following Monday.
Still don't know what day the transfer is happening. Praying that our donor has good eggs, that we get at least two good embryos, that everything goes smoothly and that I don't get kidnapped and murdered while I'm traveling alone. O.o Oh, and that I can stomach (ha, ha) giving myself the injections.
Added the cost of all our latest stuff to the costs page and we've hit the $29K mark. I must really, really want this. I sure do hope it works this round.
Right now I'm so tired and things are so crazy that all I can really focus on is the next thing on my to-do list. I know I'm going to be super bored while I'm there, but right now I'm really looking forward to at least the first day or two of nothing-to-do!
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